I hate our holiday and want to go home

I think this is the price you pay for being an international couple. I say this as someone in an international couple. A significant portion of my leave, and money, is spent visiting my ILs. It's not where I'd choose to go repeatedly and it isn't my first choice of how to spend my time. But my DH lives away from his family and home country, so I suck it up.

Next time go to Provence. Eurostar, then 2.5 hours on the TGV to Avignon. Or The Scilly Isles.
It doesn't help that the weather is so shite at the moment.

Wow, that is quite the attitude. My DB and his wife & kids are in the US. I’m just contemplating how my parents, who have health issues and are not that well off to afford flights etc.., would feel if their DIL (my SIL) had such an attitude toward visiting them and felt that it was fine for them to see their grandchildren only every 3-5 years (because, facetime 🙄). They would be utterly heartbroken.

If the OP doesn’t want to go in future that’s ok, but no way should she be expecting her DH and DC not to go and miss out on seeing their family in the UK.

Hiring a motorhome is a great idea.

And if you're organised enough to order the Britstops book online so that it's arrived at your SIL's when you get here, OP, you'll find there are loads of places that you can stop overnight for free.

I can’t imagine willingly spending time in Aldershot.

That's ridiculous! There's plenty of lovely scenery in the UK!

To be fair, I grew up in that area and the tap water is rank 🤮 everyone I know there have water filter jugs and that only makes it just about bearable for tea and coffee! I live in Wales now and the water really is so much nicer here!

The problem is that the trade off for getting all the weekends of in law duty over and done with in one go is not having any other holiday. I do get why the OP might not be thrilled about that, especially how little annual leave they get in the US. (Yeah, not everything is better there!)

I think that to avoid resentment you absolutely should treat it like a holiday, even if that means spending more money on top of what you've already spent on flights. As many other people have said, the OP and her family could be having a much better time if they'd hired a car or even just planned some fun days out rather than relying on her SIL to entertain them. There are tons of nice things to do in the area.

I also think that to avoid boredom it would make sense to plan a few future trips in a different place where her husband's family can come and join them easily enough. My husband and I have started doing one family holiday a year somewhere in Europe where my family can fly or get the train out and join us for part of the time. So we get a holiday but we also get to spend some time with the family.

Yep, exactly this. She doesn't want to enjoy the UK or find anything positive about it. Everything here is crap and everything in the US is perfect. Unfortunately I dealt with loads of American tourists when I lived in Italy and all they did was moan. The coffee was cold, the beds were too small, restaurants weren't open all day, you couldn't get ranch dressing on your salad or spaghetti and meatballs combined. I mean, why bother to leave the good ol' US of A. We'd be really delighted if you didn't.

Fleet Pond is ok. And … Fleet Services???

I can’t sympathise with anyone who hunts and shoots for fun and thinks it’s an essential skill for a child under 5 to have. 🙄

All these replies saying the UK has some lovely scenery … op lives in Maine, anything in the UK is going to seem shit compared to that

Two weeks is too long.

Plan a long way ahead to get the best fare deals.

Rent an Airbnb where you can all stay, so you are not in someone else's home.

Rent a car.

Sorted!

How about helping your SIL with the house instead of sitting around slagging her house off on MN?

The poor woman must be exhausted ferrying around moany house guests who wouldn’t pay to hire their own car, in between doing the school run and looking after her kids.

You could hire a car. You could get a train to London. I grew up in that area and there's plenty to do if you want to get out and about. You can take a boat down the Thames from Windsor. You can have lovely walks in the woods, country parks etc. Guildford and Farnham are nice for shopping and lunch. What would you like to be doing? Or do you just like to moan and feel sorry for yourself? It sounds like you resent visiting MIL and that's the problem really!

But some Evian

go to the new forest

go to ANYWHERE that is not a Woking or Fleet (wtf?! Sorry Woking and Fleet 😂)

Great walks to be had in Hampshire, pretty much anywhere apart from… Aldershot, Fleet and Woking 😂

you can easily do a as day in London if you want Urban

Get the train to Brockenhurst, hire bikes from the cycle place next to the station, cycle to pubs in the New Forest. Sorted!!

Oh and next time, don't insert 4 extra people into your SIL's "cramped dirty messy house"!! Such gratitude for no doubt free accommodation. Have you put your hand in your pocket for food or petrol?

If I was your SIL I wouldn't be having you back.

@ttcat37 "I’d be furious. Another shit grandma." Well you do you. Some people can't overcome their fear of flying, and the US is a long flight. Plus it was OP and her DH who chose to move away!

If you like rural environments, the Lakes, the Highlands (stunning), Snowdonia or even the Cotswolds would have been a better shout than Aldershot.

Stop considering it a holiday, its fitting a years worth of family duty in to a short period of time. The rest of the year you are getting to opt out of weekends at the in-laws and dragging yourself back and forth to help with things and instead get to spend that time doing the things you love back home. It is the trade off.

A change of mindset might help.

Definitely budget for a car next time and find parking, these trips are a normal cost of emigrating and something you take in to consideration when you do it. Family stuff costs money through the year attending things, you are doing it in one big hit instead.

I’d be furious. Another shit grandma. I’d be saying you can’t miss the grandkids that much then if you can’t overcome your fear of flying. Pathetic. Just refuse to go again, I would.

It seems as though you didn't plan ahead for activities.

Sounds like you were determined to hate your holiday, in which case two weeks in a dirty little house in Aldershot was a stellar plan. Good work!

I think I've strained my eyes rolling them. This whole post seems like a giant humble brag to me. It's clear you're pretty pleased with yourself that you think you've made a good move to the US so what is the point of this post except to slip in little digs about how much better you think you've got it now?

If you wanted to have a better time here then hire a car and do some planning, don't rely on others to entertain you and then complain about it.

Oh and I've heard it said that it's hard to feel too sorry about yourself when you are thinking about the needs of another person - so what kind of guest are you being?

Are you cooking and cleaning up? Helping to entertain SIL's kids so she gets a break? Offering a night babysitting SIL kids so she and her DH can go for a date night?