I hate our holiday and want to go home

Don't stay for two weeks. I understand if you spend all the money to travel over, it seems like you should stay as long as possible, but in reality, two weeks is not such a better experience than one week, as to make it worth it to use up so much of your vacation time. What additional fun did you have in the second week? What additional milestones did your dh's mom see out of her grandkids in the second week?

Alternately, spend (even) more money and use the two weeks to have some fun. Whether that means renting a car to drive to the Lake District, or getting a hotel in London for a couple of days so you can do some sightseeing with the kids and go to a fancy restaurant or two. Either way, you put the "break" in the middle of your two-week vacation and when you get back, the kids have something to tell Grandma about. And also they have a new experience that they can add to their childhood memories.

Your children won't be children forever. It's not fair to them to make them spend most of their childhood trips sitting in the same house doing nothing, over and over again. And what about you? Why do you have to spend 2/3 of your holidays like this? Your MIL isn't the only person whose happiness and life experiences are important.

For that amount of money fly your MiL out to visit you.

DH & I have friends in Guildford & visited there on numerous occasions. We love it. If I was you I'd concentrate on the positives of your trip rather than focus on the place you are based. The Uk has some of the most beautiful areas in the world & the freshest drinking water which is why a lot of it is bottled for selling.

Yes and they were lovely - but not as breathtaking as some parts of the USA

I doubt being stuck in rural Maine will fill me with joy with no transport. You should have rented a car, lm not really sure how you thought you would get around. Yeah going from where you are to York by train is expensive and was expensive even in 2014. You can easily get the train to London from where you are; go to free museums, Camden, by the river, Borough Market etc

The streets smell of cigarette smoke, really? Can’t say I’ve ever noticed that as problem in the UK and lived here all my life.

No wonder your SIL's house is messy. She's moonlighting as an unpaid taxi driver.

Just like I don’t complain about the lack of Waitrose and medieval castles when I visit her.

lol as an expat living in America I complain about this. Doesn't have to be waitrose, I would love to have a sainsburys or tesco!

I haven’t RTFT, but I get it, OP. We are also expats and yes, it is a downer spending thousands to visit family who can’t or won’t make the same effort to come your way. Unfortunately that’s just part of life when your family is more spread out, though. We are spending 5 figures flying long-haul to visit family members south of the equator this summer, and very little of the time will be spent doing exactly what we please. We’re getting in some fun city destinations along the way, but most of it is fairly unglamorous visiting. I try not to think too much about the expense, though, and instead focus on the nice things like getting to catch up with people we love, the children getting to see their cousins, etc. I think the juice is worth the squeeze, in that respect.

When we visit the UK, we tend to do a whirlwind couple of days to visit family (3ish days at each obligatory stop) and then do a few days in London just as a family to enjoy the city, see a show, meet old friends for dinner, shop, etc. I’d make an effort to plan a trip within a trip for just your family so that it’s not a wasted trip! Doesn’t have to be London, it could be Cornwall or the Lake District, just somewhere you actually want to go!

Can't you hire a car?

Why don't you organise a family trip in Europe next time? Your MiL can get the train.

Aldershot is definitely grim. There's some really gorgeous countryside in the surrounding areas.
If you get the train from north camp towards Gatwick airport there are some lovely walks in the Surrey Hills around Gomshall, shere (where the film The Holiday was filmed)
If you can get to Guildford you get the 32 bus into the Surrey Hills - silent pool , chilworth gunpowder Mills, shere etc or an Uber to newlands corner is about £15 .

There's also stunning countryside around Farnham eg Frensham ponds. Some filming for the Harry Potter films took place there.

You could also get the train down to Brockenhurst in the New Forest. From Aldershot change at Woking or from Farnborough North change at Basingstoke.

Salisbury & Stonehenge also doable by public transport in a day (shuttle bus from Salisbury station) really lovely tour around the countryside there too.

What on earth were you expecting two weeks in Aldershot to be like?!

We are very fortunate in the UK to have beautiful places to visit here and a stone’s throw away in Europe. Why on earth would you fly across the Atlantic and stay in Aldershot.

Our friends are currently visiting from Vermont and they’ve stayed with us in Essex, visited London, had a few days in Yorkshire and hopped on the Eurostar to Paris. They’ve had a great time and haven’t once felt the need to complain about the lack of New England scenery or wildlife. Just like I don’t complain about the lack of Waitrose and medieval castles when I visit her.

Similarly, my best friend is home from Australia next week. They will stay with grandparents for five days, host a few get-together, then they will fly out to France with grandparents and cousins for a week of skiing.

If it’s your holiday, make a holiday of it. Do something other than sitting in a living room in Aldershot!

She misses the countryside and killing the wildlife of where she lives.

Corrected that for you!

You're in Hampshire and you can't find anything to do? Or any countryside? Yeah, it's a you problem.
Out of interest, when you say Hunting and Shooting are important life skills, in what way do you mean?

Rural Maine looks quite pretty but it also looks dull AF (it was even named 2nd most boring state apparently). Not much to do there by the looks of it. If I was you, I'd be gagging to visit London where there are loads of interesting places to visit and see.

As said upthread, you come all the way the UK and spend it in Aldershot, what did you expect?!

So what if she guilt trips you? Going every year is not acceptable. She either comes to you every other year or she doesn't see you that year. Really, OP, you are in total control here.

OP, what does your wife/husband feel about the visits back to the UK? Would she/he be willing to spend a bit more to hire a vehicle or rent accommodation somewhere a bit more scenic to use as a base?

I get the feeling no matter where you went you would not enjoy it. There are plenty of easy options available to you but no interest in taking them.

So many places to visit . YAbU to spend the whole time with the ILs.

YABU, and kinda rude, to come on a British website to moan about how crap you think Britain is and how much better you think America is.

If you’re British then you know perfectly well that MIL could have caught a train to Paris to meet you for a citybreak at EuroDisney, or a ferry to elsewhere, or you could be driving her around the beauty spots of Europe just as easily as you drive 200 miles around the US.

The real problem here is that you’re living a high spec life in America but can only afford a very low spec holiday in Europe/UK, and apparently MIL can’t afford any holiday at all but is getting no financial help from her son.

Would be cheaper and more pleasant for all of you to meet MIL in anproper holiday spot. If she can’t fly then trains and boats exist.

Sounds like you’ve missed out on some of the amazing scenic places the UK has to offer. Ever been to the Lake District? Snowdonia? It doesn’t have to be big to be beautiful.

You're not wrong.

The American driving thing is crazy to me though. I have a friend here who frequently drives her 4 year old son 5 hours each way on a day trip to do something he will enjoy.

I keep seeing things on social media about how “the European mind can’t comprehend” the distances Americans travel to go for a meal or shopping or whatever. My European mind is struggling to comprehend spending £4K, 2/3 of my holiday allowance and flying thousands of miles but not planning how to squeeze every drop out of that trip. It’s a comparatively tiny country but there’s history, art, culture (and yes, even wilderness and nature) absolutely packed in to it, it’s pretty hard to go any distance without encountering some of that. If anything it’s impressive that you’ve managed to spend 2 weeks here and do so little.

Not sure where OP is going to find in Europe that meets her Huntin’ shootin’ fishin’ RV wishes. Particularly as she won’t hire a car or spend any money.

On the flip side OP whilst I wouldn’t spend 2 weeks in Aldershot, nor would I spend it in rural Maine.