I hate our holiday and want to go home

What’s costing $4K if you don’t pay for an airbnb or rental car? I know the area there is plenty to do with kids. Better planning next time!

This seems to be 100% your fault for not planning properly. Your wilderness shooting holidays should have taught you this vital skill.

I'm keeping an eye open for the thread from SIL.

'In laws have descended on me for 13 days, have made no plans, expect me to drive them everywhere, sit around my living room being bored, do nothing to help in the house, and complain all the time. It's driving me crazy. AIBU?'

(With apologies OP if any of the above is inaccurate)

i agree England can be boring.

tell them you don’t like it and don’t come back for as long.

'Rural Maine looks quite pretty but it also looks dull AF (it was even named 2nd most boring state apparently)'

Yes I thought the op must've been from California or somewhere else exciting.

Op. You're visiting, here to see folk so kick that resentment to the side and slap a smile on your miserable face. Bet the inlaws cant wait til you go. Your poor dh and dc.

$600 for 1 night stay in York and train????

Easily, I'd say, @DonnaDonna0 . Have you seen train fares recently? Hampshire to York will be an arm and a leg. Then there's accommodation for four...

OP, do this every other year or every 18 months and do it properly. Hire a car and an airbnb, or make half of it a holiday somewhere with the family. You'll have more time to save up.

Doing it annually on the cheap (and relying on free accommodation and a taxi service from your SIL) is both unrewarding and unfair on your SIL

I thought this too, so rude. How awful she has to suffer the appalling UK like the rest of us.

Good grief OP, I drove from north Oxfordshire to mid-Warwickshire today and spent the whole time thinking how very beautiful it was. Aldershot is infamously grim but there are tons of gorgeous places within easy reach. I think your real problem is you resent spending a big chunk of your holiday with your in-laws, which is understandable.

Quite.

Exactly. Bet she can’t wait for the holiday to be over as well.

Sorry that's bollocks, the USA will never have the incredible history and architecture that the UK has...

$600 for 1 night stay in York and train????
ATV’s, log cabins, how much further does your money go in the USA. I was under the impression not that far.
I get you may not want to come to England and can understand that but I think some of your explanations why you can’t do things is just a bit of a rant because you don’t want to be here.

Yep. I bet this has been a long 2 weeks for her too.

Perhaps the OP and/or her DH could have been added onto another family member's insurance if hiring a car is too expensive? If you can't afford to come back every year for a visit everyone enjoys then make it every other year. Maybe
MiL can contribute as she's unable to fly?

We live in Chicago and visit family in the UK every other year and I agree it’s expensive but I prefer to have my own Airbnb base and have a car, I would go crazy if I had to stay with family and depend on them so much for 3 weeks.

We also go for 3 weeks, spend 2 weeks in the UK and a week in Europe so our child gets to visit Europe as well.

Other changes I made was the expectation that I have to go visiting everyone, I did that the first few trips and man was I exhausted by the end of the trip so now I let people know I’m staying and you can visit if you want to see us. Obviously we go and spend time with parents.

We quickly concluded that the visits to the UK were not vacation but to see family so the mindset change also helps, and we try to carve out a few days for us to do stuff around London and the UK while seeing family and friends.

If you plan ahead you get can good deals with Airbnb and car rentals.

Go to London, go to Chichester, go to Portsmouth, go to Oxford, go to the Cotswolds. All within distance. If you travel abroad, you rarely stay in the same place unless it’s a resort.

You obviously missed the bit where the OP said they do it for fun. Vile.

Goodness me, hire a car! If you live in the US you must surely drive.

It is like that in some places. Thankfully not where I live, but sometimes when we visit particular places, it's like being in a plumbe of cigarette smoke 😷

I haven't read the whole thread but you say you moved to the USA, are you from the UK op or is it just your dh who is from the UK? You sound like you really hate the UK and I wonder how much of it you've actually seen? Presumably your dh wants to come back to see his family not just because mil wants to see the grandkids? Do you not have family you want to visit? Why don't you fly over with dh and the kids but then go off and do your own thing? Coach travel such as the megabus is much cheaper than the train, and trains are cheaper if you pay in advance.

And?? Why do you keep going on about this? Scenery can still be lovely and glorious regardless of how ‘breathtaking’ it is elsewhere. It’s just a non point but you’re determined to make it one.

Cheaper to bring MIL than all go

You go shooting with your children?sweet lord what has the world come too 🤮

I sympathise.
Quite frankly I'd rather jump off a bridge than stay at my MIL or SILs for 2 weeks. However, it doesn't sound like much fun for them either.

This is one of the only holidays you'll get this year.
You need to try to make the best of it.
It's now the school holidays, so no need to be picking up the kids any more.
Take a bus somewhere, they are cheap, £2. Surely anywhere is better than sitting in the little smelly house!
You need to find alternatives so that you aren't stuck in this predicament again.

Could you possibly pay for your MILs flights next year?
Or have a bigger budget next time so you can stay elsewhere. Hire a car and plan days out.
Saving money is one thing but I'd rather be a bit out of pocket than have a miserable holiday.
Good luck, and I hope you manage to have some good days on this trip x

@Backwoods57
I've only read the first and last pages of this thread.......(only just started browsing Mumsnet a few minutes ago).
So apologies if someone has already said this.
There are always going to be family issues regarding heartache, resentments, loss, envy, etc, when a young person or young family leave their parents/family/families of origin and home area to live overseas, which they have every right to do.
I think even those left behind who are pleased for them/understand their wish for a better life/put on a brave face, will feel some sadness. surely?
I'm not going to get involved in the issues in OP's situation regarding her MIL's fear of flying, (a real fear for many people, and not always easy to overcome), nor whether OP should feel obliged to visit, and what her family do when they are in the UK.
But the simple truth is, OP, that you have made the decision to emigrate to the USA. You have every right to do that.
But such a move is always going to have consequences, as you have discovered. And you have to work out how you are going to manage those consequences, and accept that there may well be someone who is going to be hurt or unhappy.

🤣 one of my big pet peeves is guests declining to drive and thinking lm a taxi driver. Then get cranky if you have other stuff to do e.g. pick children up from school go to work. They also get annoyed if you want to have a drink etc