Cheeky Fckers

The only way that this Cheeky Fucker (yes, you can type the full word out and sometimes it is actually cathartic to do just that) manages to wangle it is because no one, not you, not your sister, no one has actually shouted from the rooftops
"NO YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF DISCARDED CHEWING GUM! WE WILL NOT LOOK AFTER YOUR CHILDREN FOR FREE OR AT ALL. YOU HAVE USED UP ALL OF OUR GOOD WILL AND GOING TO A BRUNCH FOR YOU DOES NOT CONSTITUTE AN EMERGENCY ON MY PART. SORT YOUR OWN CHILDCARE ISSUES OUT WITHOUT PREYING ON THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS. PAY A CHILDMINDER FFS!!!!!"

Yes I did mean to type that out in all capital letters because someone needs to shout in her face that this is not acceptable.

Your sister needs to, on a professional footing, contacting child services because she was told that it would be for 1 hour and several hours later, they are still there and she can't get hold of the mother or the father.

It's the only thing that will work at this point.

OP you may not be able /willing to report this to the police but you can share your concerns anonymously with NSPCC or your local social services. I’m not an expert but some of this behaviour feels like it potentially raises safeguarding issues.

This woman takes being a CF to a whole new level...

Have the poor bleddy kids been collected from the party yet?

I don’t think it would be unnecessarily traumatic for the kids. After all their mum does this regularly and probably dumps them on a group of suckers. This isn’t the first time she’s dumped them and disappeared off - and that is not good for the kids.

involving the police when she abandons her kids - and it is abandoning them - means there will be intervention to ensure she and her husband are actually looking after their kids and making appropriate arrangements for childcare.

I don’t think the police and going to swoop in and take the kids. They’re likely to confirm that the sister will continue to look after the kids (since they are safe with her) while officers locate the parents and deal with them appropriately.

Maybe having the police turn up at brunch might make the CF realise she’s a dreadful mum.

I’m just catching up on this and trying to work it out, as it seems a tad ridiculous. But these kids are now at a party that they’ve not been invited to? And the CF is expected to go pick the up from there? On time?

What could possibly go wrong?

I think my first reaction would be to report the children as abandoned too. But that would be so traumatic for the children and they don't deserve that. Obvs if someone dumps their kids on you and disappears for days, that's a different story.

No, I think the best thing to do in this case is get the kids home or to a relative by hook or by crook and then learn your lesson from the experience.

I think the husband should be getting a ration of shit on this, but as usual he isn't. I'm sure OP and her DSis probably don't have his phone number, but if I did have it I'd be giving him an earful, too. I can't believe he doesn't know she dumps their kids all over creation and then skips off to play for the day.

I don’t understand why your sister just accepted this. Honestly, if have messaged back saying that if she doesn’t come back and pick her children up immediately I will call the police and report the children as having been abandoned.

You do not ask someone to have your kids for an hour and then fuck off out to brunch and say you won’t be picking them up till 3pm.

If the CFer an alcoholic who has tricked someone else onto having the kids and gone out drinking? This level of piss taking flakiness is genuinely astounding.

Well that's a very good point @KTheGrey 😄

@Zonder for some CFs apparently the party never ends.

What time does the party end?

FWIW I wouldn’t want her returning the favour - she doesn’t seem like a safe place for your kids to go anyway?

There’s a certain type of CF who thinks the whole world owes them child free time, but they don’t have to reciprocate.
Ive encountered a few of these. DD is an only child so I’ve always encouraged and been happy to have friends round. Parents interpret this as, I want them all the time, they never have to do it in return.
I had one who kept pushing me to take her 2 children for a whole weekend so her and DH could have a weekend away. I don’t think it ever occurred to her that’s something I would like. Anyway I went to her in a DIRE emergency, she wouldn’t take DD as ‘she wasn’t in the mood for a play date ’ so I cut her off cold.

Cut her off, she’ll just go looking for someone else, she literally doesn’t care. Better to do this before the summer.

OP I'm glad the woman has backed off you a bit and hope your sister manages to do the same. I'm shocked by some of the CF stories I read on Mumsnet.

They are cheeky but it's ridiculous you e allowed this to happen again and again.

@thisisasurvivor

I get that she thought it'd be an hour, but based on past behaviour, she should have realized that chances are it wouldn't be. I'm not sure if the UK has Peanuts comics/cartoons but a running 'gag' involves Lucy holding an (American) football on the ground in 'field kick' position and telling Charlie Brown to run and kick it. He knows better than to trust her but inevitably he believes she won't snatch it away and inevitably she does and he lands on his bum. It's kind of the same thing with this CF. You've learnt not to 'kick the football', but your DSis hasn't (yet).

I'm not surprised that DSis hasn't heard from CF. CF won't respond because she's banking on DSis going to get the kids if she doesn't show up, and then pleading ignorance. So if CF doesn't show up and cousin (is the cousin the hostess?) calls DSis, exactly what does DSis plan to do? Is she going to tell Cousin "I'm sorry but nothing I can do" or is she going to cave? DSis let the CF know, she let the CF's mum know. That should have been the end of it as far as DSis' involvement.

I would refuse to take her child next time unless she handed over/bank transferred everything she owed me.
Then I'd look after them that one time and never again.
She won't pay you what she owes if she knows you won't be providing any more childcare so definitely drop that into conversation after she has paid up, and as others have suggested just keep reminding her what she owes you each time she asks about childcare.

I agree with DSis dropping at the party and texting CF to pick up, but then both of you need to block her number. I'm sure if she can't get hold of DSis, she'll call you looking for her. I would just be sure that the hostess has CF's phone number as I'm sure she'll probably need it.

As far as your DSis being made a mug of, honestly, I think you need to let whatever happens happen Your DSis is an adult and, knowing what a CF the CF is, she allowed the CF to take advantage of her, that's on her. I'm sure you told her what a CF she's been to you alongside her own experience with her. DSis is going to have to learn her own lesson, just as you have. I'd probably have a big "I warned you/told you so" for my DSis in this situation.

I'm just surprised that after what you've been through with CF, your sister agreed to having the DC at all.

If the party is a drop and go then your sister needs to leave the kids there with no intention of picking them up and tell your sister they need collecting and she won’t be having the kids anymore. Hopefully she’ll be late and ashamed of herself in front of the kid’s parents. If not is there anyone in the family who she would be embarrassed about knowing how shite she is? For instance, like her husband’s parents? Your sister could drop the kids there and then go out and turn her phone off. Your sister may feel embarrassed when she has to explain to someone else what’s happened, when they’ve already been told by your sister it was supposed to be an hour and she went for brunch instead and this is a regular occurrence.

Another banking it will be more like 5.