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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky Fckers

410 replies

thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 20:43

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

OP posts:
Jk987 · 29/03/2024 22:17

GreyBlackLove · 29/03/2024 20:48

You need to say no. She made an unreasonable ask, you responded with a travel update.

Say no next time.

Love this! You responded with a travel update' 😂

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 22:13

Bluepetergarden · 29/03/2024 22:09

Block her , she’s taking the piss, her kids are not your responsibility

I'm a single parent with very few to help me

She has her parents and many people she can ask

She could also bloody pay for childcare

Her and her husband are full time earners
Madness

I have huge debt to pay off and I have told her this multiple times
I feel like cutting her off completely as she is a real cheeky mare
She also owes me for last years summer club as I paid for her son
But will obviously not get that back now

OP posts:
LouOver · 29/03/2024 22:13

Have you messaged yet OP or just blowing off steam online?

This can be over in a minute, just send the text.

Bluepetergarden · 29/03/2024 22:09

Block her , she’s taking the piss, her kids are not your responsibility

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 22:08

mrsbyers · 29/03/2024 21:59

Are you working at home while looking after her kid ?

Yes many times

Last year it was three of them

Now she just sends one up

She has sent him up to me sick many times as she could not take time off work

I know I have made it worse by not speaking out
I need to sort it out now for good

Summer time she expects at least one day a week I will take them

She has returned the favour maybe twice in the last 8 months

OP posts:
JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 29/03/2024 22:03

Dont "not respond". She'll keep texting, and turning up with her child. You need to say "NO".

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/03/2024 22:02

thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 21:57

This 👌🏻

And if this ends the 'friendship' then so fcking be it

Show quote history

And I would add that, if she ever abandons her child at your front door again, you will be handing him over to the authorities, @thisisasurvivor.

ParrotPirouette · 29/03/2024 22:01

OP fuck has got a U in it

WinterDeWinter · 29/03/2024 22:01

Your starting point is all wrong OP. She doesn't 'let you know' or 'give you notice' that she needs you to look after your child.

You ask - very very nicely. You buy a gift and/or return the favour ASAP.

The whole basis of the relationship is wrong.

mrsbyers · 29/03/2024 21:59

Are you working at home while looking after her kid ?

grinandslothit · 29/03/2024 21:59

Yes, definitely text her right away, letting her know that you are not doing any more child care again ever. Hopefully, this preempts any next time situation.

ToxicChristmas · 29/03/2024 21:57

Text that you won't be available again for babysitting and then block her number/email/social media. If she comes knocking don't answer.

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 21:57

Rattai · 29/03/2024 20:55

Dear X
I'm no longer offering free child care
Please dont mbarrass either of us by asking again

This 👌🏻

And if this ends the 'friendship' then so fcking be it

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 21:56

Agree with these 100 per cent

And it should have been a firm NO the other night too

OP posts:
PBandJ111 · 29/03/2024 21:55

Next time say no immediately?

Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 21:54

KTheGrey · 29/03/2024 21:33

What an awful person. Hope you have texted her now saying never drop your child off here again.

If you don't open the door she cannot leave him, so maybe get a ring doorbell or similar so you can see who's there and not answer if it's her.

Great idea

I'm just thinking of not responding again

And if she comes up then not answer the door

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisasurvivor · 29/03/2024 21:53

daffodilandtulip · 29/03/2024 21:40

I feel like you've found the friend I got rid of! Three years I put up with it for, it's so hard to say no isn't it? I'd get comments like "well you can't have plans because I'm at work and I'm the only one you go out with" and "I'll just leave him on your doorstep then".

I think you do have to have a moment of utter cuntfuckery before you finally say "NO. ENOUGH."

100 per cent

When I said well I'm wfh today

Yes but I can drop them to you

Leave them with a movie and pop corn they will make no. Noise

Fcking hell whaaaasst

OP posts:
twitternotx · 29/03/2024 21:44

You need to grow a backbone. Why did you say yes the first time? text her now and say you can't provide any more free childcare. Doesn't sound like you'd hugely miss her if it's the end of the friendship.

mathanxiety · 29/03/2024 21:42

Say no, and then don't answer the door when she comes knocking.

daffodilandtulip · 29/03/2024 21:40

I feel like you've found the friend I got rid of! Three years I put up with it for, it's so hard to say no isn't it? I'd get comments like "well you can't have plans because I'm at work and I'm the only one you go out with" and "I'll just leave him on your doorstep then".

I think you do have to have a moment of utter cuntfuckery before you finally say "NO. ENOUGH."

gamerchick · 29/03/2024 21:40

Message her saying, If she offloads her kid on you uninvited again you'll be calling the police for abandonment.

Then do it.

Things won't change otherwise.

CJFJ1 · 29/03/2024 21:38

I do think that when people behave in an entitled way (as this friend of yours does, OP), the only language they will understand is a firm "No". I have a relative who will routinely ask to stay at my flat / ask me for money - largely because in years past, I didn't say "No" enough, but I have since learned to and I do not regret it one iota.

Just stand your ground, OP, and say "No".

OneMorePlant · 29/03/2024 21:38

"No." is a full sentence.

Your response was weird and could have been misinterpreted. Just be clear that you are not doing it. That you are not home or on a plane or eating a pizza has nothing to do with anything.

"No."

And if you want to be polite add some extra words: "No sorry can't help you"

Starseeking · 29/03/2024 21:35

You should have text back "I am unable to look after your DC tomorrow, you need to make other arrangements"

You also should not have answered the door, and let the child in.

KTheGrey · 29/03/2024 21:33

What an awful person. Hope you have texted her now saying never drop your child off here again.

If you don't open the door she cannot leave him, so maybe get a ring doorbell or similar so you can see who's there and not answer if it's her.