Cheeky Fckers

Your describe her as a ‘friend’?

She does not sound like a friend.

@Myopicglass is right

The order of things should be

1. Send her a NICE text - hope you are having a good Easter, I really need that money you owe me - here's my bank debts could you pay it today please?
2. She will either not reply or have an excuse.
3. You wait til next CF text about dropping her kid. DO NOT reply yes or no. Reply simply "Could you transfer me the money you owe me?" Resend bank details. DO NOT say please or anything to hedge it or any reasons blah blah.
4. She might send the money or might up her game saying OP, why you being so weird, we are friends... I'm sure people on here would help you with responses, or you can just say yes we are- I'm just super skint and I know you'll pay me,being my friend.
5. If she pays you, or when yoi are sure she never will, then send a text saying "Thank you for paying me back. I need to tell you that I won't be doing any more childcare for you, I don't want you to drop off Archibald any more - I've been happy to help up to now but it's not working any more."
6. Ignore or bat back blandly any further communications from her. DO NOT explain or give reasons why you can't do it as she will try to "solve" for those reasons.

Put all of this in writing, make aist, rind her she owes you money, I suspect you also feed her kids when they are with you. Tell her. She has treated you like a skivvy, an unpaid servant. Tell her plainly to fuck off.

Come on, stand up for yourself.

This is the real question.

Weird, passive aggressive or evasive responses are pointless.

Just say ‘no. I can’t do that’. Clarity is important.

You need to be clearer in you use of wording OP.
Your message from the plane was not clear and a CF won't be arsed to read between the lines.

I would have replied , "Sorry, can't help tomorrow" and left it at that.

She may be a cheeky fecker but she’s not a mind-reader!

No I can’t mind feckerboi today
I’ve got financial issues, please pay me back the £xyz holiday camp money you owe me from last year ASAP and the pizza money of £ab for olderfeckerbois during half term.

She is off all next week and knows I am working
The decent person would say - I owe you 5 days childcare let me take them for you
Or even a day or two !!!

OP, have you actually asked her for help next week? You do seem to expect her to sense what you are thinking without telling her a lot of the time.

People will treat you how you allow to be treated.

Firm up those boundaries. Make your statements clear, not ambiguous. You didn't actually say no so on her cf mind ita fine to drop him off

OP you seem like a decent person, which is why your ‘friend’ is taking the piss.
Don’t worry about offending her. She is fairly thick-skinned so unless you say a very confident no she will carry on.
I am guessing here, it is possibly she has lost all the good will from her family.

Have you told her clearly you're not doing any more childcare for her, and never to bring her dc to yours? Do it now while you're still annoyed. Use the anger to set the boundaries.

So do you still have the child??

Take him back to her house

People treat you how you let them.

Why are you so scared of saying No? Why keep quiet and invite all the drama on your doorstep?

Why didn't you say "No, don't drop him off, I can't have him tomorrow"?

Absolute madness. Get your boundaries rock solid. Stop paying for stuff for her when you’re in debt as well.

I’d send @Foodieasfuck message

then if she doesn’t get it and asks you again, reverse it back on her. Say wow I was just about to text and ask you to have John tomorrow.

Sane with any other favour she asks for. Eg a loan, oh I was hoping you could loan me a hundred quid.

she will very soon stop asking

I agree with the others that you just need to use actual words.

Instead of ‘I’m not even home yet’, you text back ‘No. I can’t look after your child tomorrow. You will need to make different arrangements.’

If she turns up at 7.40 on the doorstep, you say ‘I can’t look after your child for you.’ And you don’t look after the child.

Any time she asks you can just say ‘no’. You don’t need to explain or justify or whatever. You can just say ‘no. I can’t do that for you.’

If the friendship is contingent on her using you as childcare, it’s not really a friendship.

How have you put up with this for so long?

Why didn’t you just say, ‘No, I can’t have him’?

You need to get angry with yourself for putting up with this, as well as her.

Tell her that you are no longer willing to look after her child anymore and she needs to make alternative arrangements.

I had a friend who took the piss, in a very different way. When I decided to say ‘No’ to her, I knew that would almost certainly end the friendship, and it did. I did feel angry and hurt that she treated me so unfairly for saying No, but that quickly turned to relief not having to deal with her manipulative shit anymore. It’s ultimately really freeing to lose people like this from your life.

CF - 1
Idiot with no backbone who then moans - 0

Your friend is a CF but I couldn't be friends with someone like you either. You never know where you stand with people pleasers. Look at how bitchy you're being but you've never actually had it out with her. You need to work on being more upfront or it will keep getting you into situations like this.

have u set any boundaries yet though - you are fuming and hoping she picks up on your cues but she's hard nosed and either ignoring the cues or oblivious? Just text Hi CF - heads up I will no longer be able to have your son so please make other arrangements.

I think a lot of 'problems' would be solved if people just accepted that it's okay to put yourself first and other people second. I don't mean in a nasty or unpleasant way but if you don't look after your own needs no one else will.

OP, it's really fine to say "Please don't ask me to look after X again, I have more than enough on my plate with work and my own children."

Your reply did sound like you were ok to do it.
You needed to have said that you would not be able to do it that day.

What sort of work do you do? Does it involve online meetings or anything?
Do you ever need to go into the office?
Is your kid also there?

I’d send her a message saying you can’t look after her kids whilst you are working anymore.
You can say that you’re doing more online meetings or they’re expecting you to go into the office more or something.

The absolute worst thing that’s going to happen is that she’ll fall out with you - which would prove what a user she is and benefit you because she won’t ask you to babysit anymore.