Cheeky Fckers

The next time you allow her to contact her because you haven't had the sense to block her, get a mental image of a backbone in your mind.

You have a backbone, you are not a spineless jellyfish that people can use and take advantage of your submissive nature.

Stand up and be assertive.

She is not your friend. She is a user.

You are acting like a doormat and she is walking all over you.

Find the anger you have shown on this thread and text her now.

Good luck op!

Yes some good responses on here, sending her a request for money first. That will tell you all you need to know as I think she’ll come up with a reason why she won’t be paying you. If she pays you, good! And then send the “no more” text. And if she doesn’t pay you, send the “no more” text and just keep saying no. It’s hard when you’re a people pleaser, I used to be one myself. Best of luck x

Explicitly say no you will not be taking her child. If she drops him off anyway I would just take him to the nearest police station a leave them there to be reunited with his guardian.

The word NO is enough.

Or two words - Fuck off.

Stop being a doormat for people to wipe their feet in you.

If she brings the kid round, don't answer the door or put the chain on and say 'I am working today, I can't look after YOUR a child. nor can I at any other time. Goodbye.'

I would text/email both cheeky fucker and her partner so they get the same message. He is also allowing her to trample over you so he doesn't have to pay for childcare for his own children. I would also notify other parents and the school so they're aware of the cf. It is a child safeguarding issue that the school should be made aware of, the cf is happy to leave her kids anywhere to save £££.

I would text something along the lines:

"Hi, I was politely reminded by my manager that, according to the company policy, employees are not allowed to look after children during working hours. Keeping in mind my circumstances, I am not in position to risk my job to cover your childcare needs.

Also, speaking of childcare, it looks like you owe me XX days. I will send you a list of dates, please let me know when you will be able to provide a cover to return a favour.
And last but not least, you owe me xx for holiday club since last summer. Please transfer by close of next week."

I disagree- her response reads like ‘are you taking the piss Jane? I’m sat on a runway at 9.30pm at night about to catch a flight home and you want me to babysit at 8am tomorrow after working all day’? A decent person will read between the lines and say ‘oh god sorry, I forgot you were working away, forget I asked I’ll find someone else to help. Safe flight.’

Whilst she didn’t say no, she didn’t say ‘yes I’m alright to do it’, but some people don’t care and just suit themselves. That’s what this CF did.

Why did you pay for the summer club for her child last year?
Especially as you’re in debt, why have you not insisted that she pay it?

I’d get that repaid before stopping further childcare.

She has many sister in laws who can step in

20fucking24 and it’s not the brothers 🙄

Say no and call the police that someone has abandoned a child on your doorstep

She owes you money too?? Well I would immediately ask for your money back, THEN say and also I can't look after your child anymore.

I agree with previous poster.

Send this text about your summer camp money

"• Send her a NICE text - hope you are having a good Easter, I really need that money you owe me - here's my bank details could you pay it today please?"

Whatever response you get back will shape how this conversation will go with her.

Everyone on here will help you with responses. She isn't your mate she's taking advantage of you. Friends don't carry on like this.

“I’m working very long hours which takes all my energy. Please do not ask me to look after X again as the answer will be no. Every time”

It might help of you write “fucker”, we’re adults and you don’t need to not write the full word. It will help you find your anger.

You need to say no not explain why.

she is not your friend.

So why didn't you turn around and tell her you couldn't have him when she turned up on your doorstep? And why did you initial response to her text not just say "sorry I can't watch him". You need to give her a firm no otherwise she will take the piss.

I should not have answered the door
**
True
**
And yes I'm a fcking softy
**
Right now I'm so pissed off with her
**
I need to work 10-12 hour days to pay the current debt I'm in
**
Fck that
**
Her kids are not my responsibility”

Tell her then!

You need to get the money back for the Summer Camp last year .
The pizzas -she's probably written this off (well I'm sure there was a 2-for-1 deal going on )

But whenever there are childcare threads , the number of people who bounce on with "Itemise the hours" and "Send her a Bill"
The Law is there to protect- you aren't providing babysitting (which would be in the childs home) and you cannot charge unless you are a CM

I would look up the regs if someone tried to pull that one and think "Yeah good luck getting the money off me for that "

Money for Club
Maybe pizza
End of .
"I can't watch Archie , I have my own work to do"

1. If she pays you, or when yoi are sure she never will, then send a text saying "Thank you for paying me back. I need to tell you that I won't be doing any more childcare for you, I don't want you to drop off Archibald any more - I've been happy to help up to now but it's not working any more."

If you decide to follow the steps above the bolded text has to go. You are not happy. You’ve tolerated it at best, grinding your teeth in frustration. This allows her to come back with “why are you being so weird about it now?” Why sugarcoat it? She’s taking the piss and exploiting your weak boundaries. Say it how it is. Clear is kind.

She’s off next week? Text her 9pm Sunday - I’ll drop the kids around 7:30 this week, thanks! Take your kids around 7:30.

Say no. You have plans, need to go into work at short notice or anything you like but this ridiculous nonsense needs to stop, When she came to the door you should have said no sorry I am on my way out.

I mean she’s a CF but you didn’t say no and you keep agreeing with people saying you need to tell her no more childcare but you haven’t done it.

She’s not a friend, she’s a user and only you can put an end to it. Posting about her on here won’t change her behaviour so you have to change yours!

But at no point did you say NO. 'I am this and that is not NO.

just say 'sorry, I can't' and then don't open the door.

You also need to have a key sentence in your mind to keep repeating to yourself when you start freaking out that you're not being helpful enough. Maybe it's 'my own family is my only responsibility', 'I don't owe anyone free childcare' or 'I won't be taken advantage of'. Keep referring to this when you're enforcing the boundary.

I can’t remember where I read this, possibly on Mumsnet but I like it.

”Know your worth. You must find the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer being served.” (Tene Edwards)

The time to leave the table is long past. Just get up and go metaphorically. This woman doesn’t deserve an explanation. Just tell her you’re no longer providing any free services and block. She is not your friend. No friend would treat you with such disrespect.

@thisisasurvivor So you still haven't text her to say no more childcare?!
Baffles me as to why on earth you have posted on here to be honest. I mean that with kindness OP. Stand up for yourself!