To want to tell the group of men ‘helping’ me reverse my car..

so I asked an Asian man to get me to the flat road.

^

You asked a man?

I'm not the most PC person but why on earth is it relevant if he's Asian??!?

I had this once or twice, I ignored them but if it happened now I’d maybe tell them that if I crash my car due to their hand waving, I’ll sue them. Probably not though.

I have asked someone to help though. I drove DH’s massive car for the first time (as opposed to my tiny run around) and parked on a steepish hill.

When I was going home, I was convinced if I tried to move off that the car would roll down the hill, (as it had a hand brake button not stick) so I asked an Asian man to get me to the flat road.

He just nodded and did it without a word, no comments or looks. I think he saved me from a crash that day.

Yep, I too have been a victim of unwanted man help. It's bloody annoying to be patronised when you've been driving for decades. I've a had a helpful man showing me how to use gym equipment even though I was a regular at the gym. My male lodger giving me advice on keeping chickens when I've had them for years...🙄

I've had to train my bf out of this. I've explained that if I ever need help (not inconceivable to be fair) I will ask.

I get confused when they do it anyway, random arm gestures,reversed in the mirrors, stupid instructions ("right have down, right hand down, RIGHT HAND DOWN!) and then hovering around the edges of the car are all very difficult to follow. So I just put the car in neutral, put the handbrake on, put my hands on my lap and tell them to leave me alone.

My ex used to come running out of the house to help me reverse onto our driveway, I don't know what he thought I did when he wasn't there (though to be fair, I did once run over the food caddy, but it was in the middle of the drive where it shouldn't have been and wasn't visible to me at all).

Predictably, I saw a comments page in a newspaper blaming women for this! Apparently we drive so slowly, hesitantly and generally badly that male drivers get frustrated, so they get angry, so they have accidents 🤷
Women are to blame for everything, always.

Highly unlikely. "Go and help that woman Cedric, the one who's getting on with a simple job, doesn't look like she needs help and hasn't asked for help".

I hate this shit too. Was about to reverse park outside my house just as a Deliveroo cyclist was coming up the road. I stopped to let him by but he wouldn’t move. Turned out he was waiting to ‘help’ me. It was extremely distracting having him waving around in the way of me trying to park. He looked a bit surprised that I didn’t thank him. I was fuming.

Well done OP for a very measured response. I'm not sure I would've been as self contained!

My over the road neighbour "helped" me reverse off my own drive when he moved in. Like I'd never tried it in all the time I've lived here.

My DM always helps DF reverse, by standing behind the car. So useful.

Ahhh this would wind me up but just for perspective....at our local car washes (thinking of 3 of them in our area) the men who work there do this with nearly every car that they wash! Male or female.

And can I add - I had an ex who would always point and tell me where to park every time we pulled into a carpark

”Just park it there look”

Used to absolutely infuriate me! Like without him I just drove round and round totally unable to commit to a space!

Objectively if you were reversing out onto a busy road then someone spotting for traffic and waving you out when it’s safe would be ideal.

But it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s happening.

Reminds me of my FIL asking if I was driving my SUV - it was so big, you know, with me being a woman. I have towed horses (I had to do the extra test at the time), driven large vans/horse boxes. I am not bothered about a bloody SUV and am a damn site better at parking than my DH who relies on cameras and automatic parking.

I had the opposite at a petrol station when the man in front of me went to drive off without screwing his petrol cap back on so it was dangling and banging against the side of his car.

I rushed to tell him as he was pulling away and forgot the word for it in my haste so sort of pointed and said 'the petrol thingy needs screwing back on"

And he sneered

And in a high pitched voice went "ooh the thingy isn't on is it not?"

Wanker.

She'd probably sent him to help

Have you seen how many posts there are on here from women drivers moaning about not being able to do the simplest things whilst driving, and hogging the middle lanes on motorways? It’s embarassing. So I’m not surprised

NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING enrages me more than random men who try to 'help' like this when I'm driving

I'm usually a pretty laid back person, but this sends me incendiary

YNBU

I live on a really steep hill. It's about 15 percent at the top and crests on a blind hill to a t junction so you have to have good clutch control.

The other day a young woman was really struggling and kept rolling back causing traffic to back up. A bloke made her get out of the car, jumped in and made the turn for her. Poor girl was almost in tears. There is no way they'd have done that if she was a guy.

I had a man almost sprint across a forecourt recently offering to help me put air in the tyres. I was not having any difficulty doing so nor do I think I was giving any indication I was finding it difficult. I refused his first offer politely. The second one I was a little teaser. When he tried to insist a third time I did have to snap at him really to leave me alone.

He was most taken aback. I saw him looking quite grumpy as he got back to his car and his female companion. Maybe he was trying to show off to her.

We were having some work done on our house & our car was parked on the road to be out of the way. A delivery was coming & so I needed to put the car on the drive.

Two of the builders attempted to guide me in to MY OWN DRIVEWAY! The driveway I reverse our car onto every time I come home.

Patronising twats, no way would they have done that to DH.

I really hate this. FIL loves to do it, stands in the blind spot every single time. At least he does it equally to me and DH though.

God this is annoying - I've had this before. One bloke trying to instruct me how to get through a small gap and then was annoyed when I didn't thank him! I didn't ask for help and his shouting wasn't actually helpful!

I've always asked and found men very helpful...those ugly massive black funeral 4x4s make it hard for me to see around them in my tiny car and I always ask if help if one parks next to me. Ive always been grateful for their help. No one offered without me asking though

This would be me. I was actually trying find the one where a guy taps on the window and she roars like a lion 😂

I had a security guard at work stop right next to my car and watch me as I reversed into a bay. Arsehole shook his head and laughed because I was right on the line on one side… because I’d been busy making sure I didn’t hit him and he completely put me off. I was so frustrated as I’m pretty good at parking and will attempt much tighter spaces than DH will. This was an empty part of the car park so there was no need to try and help me at all, not that he did. Funnily enough he didn’t do the same to the bloke that pulled up next to me. Knob.