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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be grossed out by friend?

33 replies

RockHardCake · 29/03/2024 07:50

night out planned for tonight. One particular friend has a habit of cancelling on the day and has done for years so I’ve been expecting the cancelling message. As predicted at 7am this morning I get the message “sorry will have to drop out tonight, I have terrible diarrhoea 😞”

I reply “ok no worries x” (as I said, I was expecting it) and then for whatever reason she sent another message saying “I was worried you would think I was making it up so I took this … “

she then sent me a photo of her used (and very abused!) toilet 🤮 I replied “didn’t need to see that lol” and I didn’t hear back.

5 minutes ago she sent another photo of the toilet in a state saying “it’s not stopping 😭”

now I’m grossed out! But clearly she’s not making it up! I’m wondering if I’ve gave her the impression that I never believe her?! Was there anything wrong in my initial reply? DH thinks I should have told her I hope she’s feeling better soon but honestly - I didn’t believe she was genuinly ill

For context, she’s cancelled plans on me (including attending my wedding!) for well over 20 years

OP posts:
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Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 30/10/2024 17:34

RockHardCake · 29/03/2024 08:00

Do you want me to post the photo on here??!

Noooooʻooooooooooo

EnjoythemoneyJane · 29/03/2024 16:22

Because she knows people eye roll at the bullshit excuses she drops most of the time and is falling over herself to prove that for once it’s legit by showing you the actual shit she’s dropped 🤮.

Strongly reminiscent of the always-off-sick co-worker who never lets anyone forget that one time they did actually break their ankle and managed to struggle in on crutches - stfu about it, Cheryl, everyone knows you’re a piss-taking faker the rest of the time.

Your mate will be hoping this buys her a pass to cancel last minute for the next year or so, but honestly, why do you go to the trouble of making plans with her at all?!

Kittenkitty · 29/03/2024 16:09

Also it doesn’t actually prove anything, I had a friend who takes photos of covid tests, broken dishwasher - whatever so she can use them as and when. She told me this when she was doing it to other people and then still did it to me 🤦‍♀️

but either way it’s gross.

ohyesido · 29/03/2024 15:45

Good heavens what possessed her to do that? Is she an overthinker who would rather share her bowel movements than be thought of as a liar?

meganorks · 29/03/2024 14:18

Of course YANBU to not want to see that. But friend obviously knows she is full of shit usually (ha!) and wanted to prove she is genuinely ill this time.

easylikeasundaymorn · 29/03/2024 14:14

agree with others. She's a) flaky and b) gross. Is she really a good enough friend otherwise to put up with this shit (literally!)

Frazzledmummy123 · 29/03/2024 14:04

That is grim. Sounds like she has some issues to think it's appropriate to do that.

KomodoOhno · 29/03/2024 13:58

Wow I cannot even imagine what would possess a person to fo this. No way could I not tell her off.

StormingNorman · 29/03/2024 12:13

TBH you both know she bails and she wanted to prove to you that she was genuine this time.

I wouldn’t send a picture of my shit splattered loo to anyone but if I got one, I’d laugh it off and just tell her please not send anymore and which her better. I wouldn’t get on the internet to express disgust. Thanks for giving me a giggle though!

anxioussister · 29/03/2024 12:03

This is totally unhinged behaviour from her.

DrJoanAllenby · 29/03/2024 10:08

I could t be friends with someone who sent me such revolting photos and would block her on everything and never speak to her again.

That's downright disgusting.

Why would you want to be friends with such a low life?

DSD9472 · 29/03/2024 10:07

Has she done anything like this before? Pics of her heavy period, thrush or other random bodily issues?

Personally, I wouldn't have replied with LOL from your reply below. Instead of LOL I would have put a vomiting emoji.
'didn’t need to see that lol”

I mean who texts someone at 7am, on a bank holiday plus sends pics of their shit when you might be eating breakfast! Revolting.

BusyMummy001 · 29/03/2024 10:03

Sorry, but that’s revolting. Not sure any friend of mine would do that… and till be my friend.

DaBlackCatsAreDaBestCats · 29/03/2024 10:01

It’s rather over egging the pudding isn’t it. You don’t need to see “proof”. If you must tell lies, less is more x

Trulyme · 29/03/2024 09:56

I do think your reply was quite short and to the point but considering she has form for this, then I think it’s good that you did reply like that.

Although it’s gross, I also think it’s good she’s shown you proof.
Considering this happens a lot, then you may have thought she was lying (as you say you expected it before she even said it).

It is good that she’s aware that she lets people down a lot and it’s good to know that she’s letting people down for a genuine reason.

I wonder if she gets anxiety or something which triggers an upset stomach.

I would reply with something like “eww that’s gross! I hope you feel better soon”.

splatmouse · 29/03/2024 08:31

Yeah. It's disgusting that she shared that with you. So you decide to share it with everyone else. Thanks.

MeinKraft · 29/03/2024 08:26

Maybe it's a cry for help/immodium.

RoseGoldEagle · 29/03/2024 08:19

I’ve had a few friends like this over the years. I always make sure I never make plans where I’m solely relying on them, so when they inevitably cancel it doesn’t matter too much, which you probably do too. I think your message was fine- when someone does this all the time they have to accept that you’re not going to be gushing about hoping they’re better soon. I would send a message saying ‘Sending sympathy but please never send me a photo like this again!!’

Fortitudinal · 29/03/2024 08:19

She sounds deranged. How utterly repulsive!

CarrotCake01 · 29/03/2024 08:08

My initial thought is that she's just used Google to find some gross pictures, but I suppose you'd recognise the bathroom?
Or she's chucked some soup or something down the loo and taken a picture.

I don't know whaaats going on but obviously it's gross and not exactly normal 😂

RockHardCake · 29/03/2024 08:07

pasturesgreen · 29/03/2024 08:04

Not unreasonable not to believe her, given she has such long-standing form for flakiness.

(I'd also be highly suspicious the disgusting photos are in fact some random stock photos, but I concede I may be more sceptical than most)

It was definitely her bathroom 🤮

OP posts:
Gullsoaring · 29/03/2024 08:04

pickledandpuzzled · 29/03/2024 08:02

Maybe she has stress issues? Irritable Bowel when something is on is a thing.

My thought was that if she has form for cancelling it might be anxiety induced illness.

pasturesgreen · 29/03/2024 08:04

Not unreasonable not to believe her, given she has such long-standing form for flakiness.

(I'd also be highly suspicious the disgusting photos are in fact some random stock photos, but I concede I may be more sceptical than most)

Takeoutyourhen · 29/03/2024 08:03

This reply has been deleted

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An old colleague of mine sent a pic like that to work as proof they were ill. 🤢 definitely happens.

pickledandpuzzled · 29/03/2024 08:02

Maybe she has stress issues? Irritable Bowel when something is on is a thing.