Botox, frozen faces and big lips

Botox has been around for ever.
Big lips are hilarious. A vagina on your face must surely go out of fashion. Loving big bums my time has come.

My 12 year old grandaughter is deeply enmeshed in a world of beauty products - partly because her dad's GF is a cosmetics rep and uses make-up products to bond with GD...which also adds in an extra nuance of trickiness. Daughter and I are trying very hard to reframe the narratives around the beauty industry - the costs, the exploitation, the risks and, of course, the capitalist market driven imperatives which prey on vulnerability and insecurity. Personally, I am distressed at seeing the amount of product in GD's possession (which cannot have much purpose for young healthy skin), and can't help noticing the fragile state of her hair after numerous hair straightening sessions (I had no idea how brutal these hair appliances are). It is depressing that social media has enabled the insane proliferation of what seems to me to be a bizarre but ubiquitous clonish look...as well as navigating a potential minefield of hurt feelings and emotional disarray, common to all blended families.

In the 90s, as a teen, I had full, pigmented lips and used to use very pale lipstick to
make them disappear! Now it’s the other way round! Hopefully the trend will go. It really looks awful. Even very subtle lip filler I think is dodgy because it can cause the shape of the lip to change over time.

I don’t find Botox as bad when used subtly, as it can just ‘refresh’ the face. Even so, it’s so expensive for something basically unnecessary.

But the real evil though, is when these treatments become addictive. You can’t just have a couple of botox sessions, you end up getting hooked to a certain look and then you increasingly have to add more and more. Then the face loses all character, becomes mask like and really odd!

And yes, everyone starts looking the same. Katie Price talked about the ‘plastic surgery look’ (which admittedly included surgeries like facelifts) becoming ubiquitous. She said she doesn’t like that she also has that look but she’s gone too far now and is addicted.

Its just depressing that we - women mainly - are made to feel that we have to alter ourselves to achieve the unattainable goal of youth. Why does society look down on aging as if it makes any difference to who that person is within? Ageism is a big issue, largely ignored until very recently, especially for women. I don’t know what the answer is, but I am resisting botox with everything I have! Incidentally I am in my 40s and still have (relatively) full lips (yay!) but also some pretty impressive wrinkles as well as newly acquired jowls (nay!) 😖😖

Aren’t you a ray of sunshine. 🤢

That is so sad. I blame the likes of the KarJenners. I personally think that they are all pretty unattractive, apart from Kendall(Khloe and Kylie are straight up ugly IMO) but young women seem to aspire to look like them. It isn't just them, either. It seems to be the in look nowadays but I personally think it's hideous.

I think you forgot the eyelashes.

My friend has a daughter I haven’t seen since she was about 14. She was so pretty in a delicate way (for those old enough to remember she looked like Megan follows from Anne of Green Gables). Bumped into them today a few years later and I was chatting away to her , including her friend who was with her. Turns out “friend” was her daughter. Wouldn’t have recognized her she must only be late teens but looks the same age as us. Overdone everything and to be blunt looked like a trans woman. So very sad.

Women just can’t win.

We’re either too fat or too thin. Put on a few pounds “you’re lazy and unhealthy”. Lose a few pounds “you look gaunt. You were better before”. Low esteem we’re told to “love yourself” and “be confident”. But then when we are confident we’re told we’re “arrogant” or “she loves herself”. Wear fake tan “oh she’s so orange” “she looks like an Oompa Loompa”. Doesn’t wear tan “She’s so ghastly pale” “she looks ill”. Wears makeup to work “oh it’s too OTT” “she’s trying to flirt with the clients and the boss”. Doesn’t wear makeup to work “it’s unprofessional and lazy to not take pride”.

Get fillers and Botox we’re called “duck lips” “pornstar lips” “frozen faces” “but she was so beautiful before why has she ruined herself”? Like any of these nasty comments are helpful and are of any use to build up a woman’s confidence and self esteem.

Why has she ‘ruined’ herself? Because of people commenting on her looks, weight, skin tone and features. Because of people commenting on celebrities looks, weight, skin tones and features. It’s rife on social media. People like you lot. There are so many similar threads like this one, and it’s vile.

Women cannot win when it comes to physical appearance.

IMO fillers coarsen your appearance, you look blokier, manlier. I hope the trend dies out.

I mostly agree with the sentiments to
be honest. Although I do think we walk down the street critiquing others, but I think that is borne out of how women are pitted against each other
in general. I have definitely myself doing it in the past, especially when I was in my teens / 20’s and then as I matured I
started to realise just how toxic it is/was.

It feels like we’re being manipulated into worshipping at the alter of youth until we die now.

I was at a major UK airport last week and the sheer number of botox and filler on show was thoroughly depressing.

It’s not about whether you can ‘tell’, it’s about the sheer lack of facial expressions and an almost bizarre alien-like look.
The fact is, so many women are injecting poison into their faces, over and over and over and spending a fortune to do so to mainly avoid aging, because being seen as old is extremely devalued and worthless.

Why is wisdom and experience worthless?

Imagine a world where we didn’t give a shit about ‘enhancing’ and tweaking our faces and bodies
I focus on health
Actually the realisation that we are the only ones who really care is a bit of a game changer.
Do you walk down the street critiquing other people-no
If you do then you need to see a therapist not get face injections.

I think what saddens me is how ubiquitous it is in the media. Almost no famous women / Tv personalities can actually move their faces properly or show emotion effectively. This is what makes us fundamentally human and able to show our babies and children different emotions and display feelings from the nuances in facial movement.

We, especially women are surrounded by SO much of this that it takes a lot of self esteem and confidence to avoid hating age and ageing. We live in such an ageist society and combining that with the internalised misogyny most of us don’t even realise we feel, it’s almost impossible to avoid being part of the problem
on some level.

Imagine a world where we didn’t give a shit about ‘enhancing’ and tweaking our faces and bodies. For what really? Men? Other women? Acceptance? Unless you’re walking around with a mirror perm attached in front of your face then of course you’re doing these things for others. Why else would you care?

If you knew you wouldn’t see anyone for a year - would you both with any of this shit?

I totally agree, it looks horrendous.

I get that @faffadoodledo but I'm not sacrificing my wrinkle-free face to save the next generation 😁 They can work it out for themselves.

It’s lovely you are comfortable in your skin but there are enough people in the world judging women on their appearance and contributing to our insecurities without women turning on each other and joining in. A little kindness goes a long way and maybe in the future our daughters will all be as comfortable in their skin as you are lucky enough to be.

@Cyb3rg4l But this is the point; it's very hard for young girls to be comfortable in their own skin when the signals are so confused. Changed faces signal that the faces we were born with aren't good enough.

I have just turned 50 and hated the way my lips had gone thin and some lines had started to form - so I got 1ml of lip filler. My lips look much better/healthier and I feel much more confident. Maybe the “trend” isn’t so much a trend but speaks volumes about society and the expectations of the way we look at any age - mainly due to social media. And men.

I work with loads of young people in their early 20s and most of the women among them have plumped up lips and false eyelashes.

Yehhhh my cousin got the huge enormous lips done, and the Botox and the eyelash extensions or whatever they’re called - and honestly, I do not even recognize her.
my other cousin’s daughter got all that stuff done, plus a huge extra-sized boob job. In her early 20’s.

it makes me sad because their faces both look nothing like their faces (naturally pretty) used to look, and now they look so much alike. Their faces look tortured into these grotesque shapes.

I don’t care who comes at me- go ahead - I’m still going to feel this is grotesque.

walk down the street in Los Angeles and you’ll see a hundred of these faces.

my cousin can’t even smile any more, her lips are so hugely puffed up.

and I know. It’s not my face, blah blah.. it’s still gross to me.

It’s lovely you are comfortable in your skin but there are enough people in the world judging women on their appearance and contributing to our insecurities without women turning on each other and joining in. A little kindness goes a long way and maybe in the future our daughters will all be as comfortable in their skin as you are lucky enough to be.

You probably have a beautiful, natural lip, but these girls/ women, some are getting them stretched to within an inch of their lives . when the filler has worn off the lips must go down like a deflated balloon. Some women, including myself are just starting there was nothing probably wrong with their lips in the first place.

@faffadoodledo Yes, like a spot that needs to be popped.
Also ruins someone's profile.

They look kind of hard don't they @Mothmansknickers? Lips should be soft.

The pumped-up lips look seem to ruin people's faces. Also, the constant licking of them makes me gag.

I'm seeing more and more girls with lip fillers etc. It's become normal like hair extensions and fake nails. I don't like the fake doll look. Maybe they don't like my boring face!

There's a local Facebook page advertising 'treatments'. The before and after photos are painful to look at. Before = pretty young women with balanced features. After = bizarre distorted faces with massive shiny lips, weirdly contoured noses, and enormous cheeks. I find it so disturbing and sad. IMO it goes beyond fashion and is a marker of much deeper issues.