Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Broken beyond belief

816 replies

StuckHurtDone · 28/03/2024 17:52

fully expecting lots of LTB here, but I just want an outsiders view.

He is notoriously bad at communicating, he buries his head in the sand. And mostly if he doesn’t want to talk about it we don’t.

He is self employed- I pay all
bills. His money is then used as ‘play money’. However he very rarely contributes anything. His money is spent on his fuel and him going to see friends (pub). If I ask for money he would give me some, but im not the type to do this. I expect a team effort. I never buy anything for myself.

the last month or so, his mum was taken to hospital , and came home the other say (she has a catalogue of health issues). Him and his 2 brothers aren’t exactly helpful with her. (Father died a while back).

he hasn’t worked since his mum went to hospital, nor has he visited her much (not enough to justify not working). He was meant to be decorating the spare room in her house while she was in hospital. Instead he used her house as a doss house for him and his friends to get drunk in - whilst leaving me at home wondering if he’s ever coming home. Lots of rows about how he’s not even considering my feelings- he’s sorry won’t happen again. things ok for a few days, then happens again.

now his mum is home- he is now the ‘concerned son’. Mum needs me etc- without actually doing anything for her.

last weekend Saturday, he was at work and said he will be home soon (this was 4ish) and we would then go get food (from a place we wanted to try). He turned up at 9.30. I was peeved. He was drunk. I didn’t talk to him (I know not to argue when he’s had a drink as don’t achieve anything). Still had a row, because I’m a miserable cow- he tried to leave- so I took his car keys off him. He was drunk and would have killed someone. He then spat at me twice. He stormed out, whilst I’m crying and I assume went to pub. He came home at 1am. I pretended to be asleep. He got up Sunday and went to work. Didn’t hear from him. He came home Sunday hardly spoke. Went to work monday didn’t speak. Came home we had a chat- kind of thought we were making progress.

tuesday, he’s at work- calls me says he won’t be late back and he will get food from the place we wanted to try. 6.30- I’ll be an hour. 9.30 home and leaves the take out bag in front of me- apparently I’m a miserable cow and ungrateful. He left and went to his mums- she doesn’t need him turning up drunk!
he hasn’t been home since.

im in the wrong. He’s stressed - (from my point of view I’d be stressed if my mum was as poorly as her but he’s not exactly the doting son) I’m pushing him to do stuff - the only thing I’ve asked for is for him to be home at a reasonable time and spend time with me. But that’s wrong.

I haven’t slept for days. I’ve got the worst headache and I’m numb. I haven’t done anything wrong- or have I?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
TheShellBeach · 11/05/2024 12:46

TimeForTeaAndG · 11/05/2024 10:33

What do you mean by he's watching the house? Like sitting outside all day?

I was wondering the same thing.
@StuckHurtDone is he outside, looking in at you? If he is, that's creepy.

TimeForTeaAndG · 11/05/2024 10:33

What do you mean by he's watching the house? Like sitting outside all day?

slaggybumbum · 10/05/2024 21:40

You sound soooo much better than when you first posted. You are only 36 years old and a lovely life ( and man if you want) is out there. Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t think you are a princess!

StuckHurtDone · 10/05/2024 19:57

Mum5net · 10/05/2024 19:52

@StuckHurtDone
You are an exceptional human. You have found strength from your little toe or somewhere where you never knew it existed, and taken tiny little steps to get here. Brilliant that your work place have been supportive. They sound like they've given you a huge hug of support so that you can regain your sense of self. Every day you are sounding stronger. It still must be incredibly difficult but cheering you on from afar .

Thank you. What you have said has made my emotional 😭 I’m taking it step by step day by day. That’s all I can do . Work has been amazing. Whilst I was anxious I shouldn’t have been! I would love to give them all a hug but that’s not me 🤣 we’ve just had our Xmas party date announced (WHAT!!!) but that gives me plenty of time to get a cat sitter arranged and attend a party at a polo club that I wouldn’t of been allowed to attend before!!!

OP posts:
Mum5net · 10/05/2024 19:52

@StuckHurtDone
You are an exceptional human. You have found strength from your little toe or somewhere where you never knew it existed, and taken tiny little steps to get here. Brilliant that your work place have been supportive. They sound like they've given you a huge hug of support so that you can regain your sense of self. Every day you are sounding stronger. It still must be incredibly difficult but cheering you on from afar .

TheShellBeach · 10/05/2024 19:51

I love reading your updates.

huitneuf · 10/05/2024 19:39

Well done OP - all the best!

StuckHurtDone · 10/05/2024 19:37

huitneuf · 10/05/2024 18:56

Do you have children? If not why are you doing this?
Please take 2 weeks off, go somewhere nice and reflect. I promise you will come back with a clear mind.
Good Luck OP

bit late for the party unfortunately 🤣 this has been going on for weeeeeks. Finally made headway and he’s out. I’m back to work, and can finally wipe my hands of him. Hair appt is booked, holiday is being booked this weekend. And (although he’s watching the house!) I’m carrying on without him. I don’t care anymore

OP posts:
huitneuf · 10/05/2024 18:56

StuckHurtDone · 28/03/2024 17:58

not married. Rented house but all in my name

Do you have children? If not why are you doing this?
Please take 2 weeks off, go somewhere nice and reflect. I promise you will come back with a clear mind.
Good Luck OP

Mary46 · 10/05/2024 18:54

Best wishes op and yes treat yourself to the hair apt x

StuckHurtDone · 10/05/2024 17:55

eggplant16 · 10/05/2024 12:15

Blimey ! Things have moved along. Well done.

I know, I didn’t want things to be this way, but it is what it is! Onwards, upwards and better things

OP posts:
StuckHurtDone · 10/05/2024 17:54

Agapornis · 10/05/2024 10:33

If your washing machine is a Samsung, it's singing Die Forelle (The Trout) by Schubert 😁 it still cheers me up after several years! The lyrics are:

In einem Bächlein helle da schoß in froher Eil
Die launische Forelle vorüber wie ein Pfeil
Ich stand an dem Gestade und sah in süßer Ruh
Des muntern Fischleins Bade im klaren Bächlein zu
Des muntern Fischleins Bade im klaren Bächlein zu

Not a Samsung way out of my budget 🤣 but it’s a nice happy tune none the less. I’m going to google it and find out what it is

OP posts:
eggplant16 · 10/05/2024 12:15

Blimey ! Things have moved along. Well done.

Agapornis · 10/05/2024 10:33

If your washing machine is a Samsung, it's singing Die Forelle (The Trout) by Schubert 😁 it still cheers me up after several years! The lyrics are:

In einem Bächlein helle da schoß in froher Eil
Die launische Forelle vorüber wie ein Pfeil
Ich stand an dem Gestade und sah in süßer Ruh
Des muntern Fischleins Bade im klaren Bächlein zu
Des muntern Fischleins Bade im klaren Bächlein zu

FarmGirl78 · 07/05/2024 20:35

StuckHurtDone · 13/04/2024 20:54

I’ve burnt his stuff

Sorry, I only just found this thread, and I know I'm only halfway through...... But you are a fucking legend and I just think you're brilliant. If this was a goal midway through a football match you'd be on my shoulders right now. You champion!

AcrossthePond55 · 07/05/2024 20:27

@StuckHurtDone

Starting to get back into your old routines is an important part of building your new life. So getting back to work was definitely the right thing to do. It shows that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and that you are capable of triumphing over negative emotions.

Congrats on your new car and washing machine. Not that they're cheap items, but it's amazing how something so 'basic' can make us feel so good. Allow yourself to feel happy when you start the engine or throw a load in the machine. They are part of your new life, too.

PS learn to whistle that washer tune. Let it be a reminder of how far you've come.

StuckHurtDone · 07/05/2024 19:54

Work went really well. Lots of anxiety driving in. And thought gosh it’s so much easier to just get signed off again and carry on as I was.
but this is my livelihood, a job a love with people I love and I’m so glad I fought through the anxiety.

only HR know the full extent, but they’ve all been fab and told me how much they’ve missed me.

on a brighter note my new (old) car is lovely, and a pleasure to drive. And my new (new new!) washing machine was delivered! It even sings a little tune to me when I turn it on and off. This will no doubt really fuck me off in about a week but for now it makes me smile.

i am going to find a decent hairdresser this week and book a day off work to get it done at the end of the month! Something to look forward to!

thank you, again. All of you. Your kindness sits deep within me…. MN can be a vile place sometimes but you’ve all gone above and beyond!!

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 07/05/2024 16:25

@StuckHurtDone

You're doing great!! And there's nothing wrong with new beginnings. People begin again for many reasons. It's a chance to become the best you that you can be. Remember that all beautiful blooms start by growing in the dirt.

Ohffsbarbara · 07/05/2024 14:59

I haven’t been allowed to dye my hair since we’ve been together so my grey is horrific!!

Wow - he really was a grade A bastard wasn’t he?

Op - please get therapy or at least do the freedom programme to help you understand why you’ve allowed this. Never ever let a man dictate what you can and can’t do again. And make sure you stay single for a good while whilst you get your head around the abusive relationship you’ve finally managed to break free from.

Onwards and upwards!

Causewerethespecialtwo · 07/05/2024 11:50

Book that holiday to Morocco @StuckHurtDone that sounds amazing, you 100% deserve it.

And start thinking of a new user name. You are no longer stuck! Maybe hurt for a while. And I hope you are definitely done! You need a new empowering username like bossbitchnolongerstuck!

Iamnotalemming · 07/05/2024 09:02

So good to see your updates, you should be proud of yourself Flowers👏

eggplant16 · 06/05/2024 20:26

So lovely to hear from you.

TheShellBeach · 06/05/2024 19:51

How wonderful that you'll be able to get your hair done how you want!

StuckHurtDone · 06/05/2024 19:50

I hope this is the start of new beginnings. I don’t particularly want to start again, but here we are. I am going to enhance my grey and hopefully make it look great… rather than dull as dishwater which is the look I’m rocking now!!

I have found a great holiday in Morocco! Reasonably priced for a week.

I hope this is the end now. And once I’m back at work I’ll fall back into a routine and manage to stay on top of things

OP posts:
Causewerethespecialtwo · 06/05/2024 19:39

Yes save up and treat yourself to that hair appointment. You will feel amazing and empowered after. And where are you hoping to book a holiday to? So exciting to have nice things for yourself to look forward to 😊