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Original poster

For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

811 replies

Anguish · 27/03/2024 12:57

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

OP posts:
HippyCritical · 27/03/2024 13:10

Okay, but that certainly is not the case in this instance

How do you know that? Genuine question.

Devilsmommy · 27/03/2024 13:10

idontlikealdi · 27/03/2024 13:07

I bet he says 'we're pregnant' too.

He has no say in it until he is having a baby.

We're pregnant 🤮 I'd be telling him to go fuck himself 😁

Original poster
Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:09

Iloveshihtzus · 27/03/2024 13:08

So he wants to watch his wife scream and shout in pain and perhaps have a 6 inch tear and life long injuries so he can get the ‘romantic’ birth he is entitled to???

And he’s a sweet guy? I think both you and your friend need to raise the bar of nice. I know loads and loads of mothers - no one has ever had a partner ‘insist’ on a type of birth. How can you not see how wrong this is?

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it could just be that he buys into negative conceptions about it, like it not being a 'real' birth etc.

OP posts:
Iloveshihtzus · 27/03/2024 13:08

Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:05

Not sure, I assume he just think it's the natural way and probably has a romanticized view of how a birth should be which for him, includes a vaginal birth.

Like I said he's a very sweet guy.

Show quote history

So he wants to watch his wife scream and shout in pain and perhaps have a 6 inch tear and life long injuries so he can get the ‘romantic’ birth he is entitled to???

And he’s a sweet guy? I think both you and your friend need to raise the bar of nice. I know loads and loads of mothers - no one has ever had a partner ‘insist’ on a type of birth. How can you not see how wrong this is?

Original poster
Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:08

HippyCritical · 27/03/2024 13:07

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way

No-one knows an abuser like their victim. Sometimes even the victim can't see what they're being put through while they're under the cloud.

Okay, but that certainly is not the case in this instance, which is why it's bizarre. If it was anyone else I would think it's a bit sadistic.

OP posts:
Festivemoose · 27/03/2024 13:08

Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:05

Really? Link?

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I don’t have a link to hand because it would require scrolling through my timeline which I don’t have time for right now, but it’s been retweeted at least twice into my timeline today.

idontlikealdi · 27/03/2024 13:07

I bet he says 'we're pregnant' too.

He has no say in it until he is having a baby.

HippyCritical · 27/03/2024 13:07

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way

No-one knows an abuser like their victim. Sometimes even the victim can't see what they're being put through while they're under the cloud.

StopStartStop · 27/03/2024 13:07

😂 He wants a natural birth? Fabulous. When he gives birth, he can have that.

therealcookiemonster · 27/03/2024 13:07

absolutely all men should be able to insist on their partners having vaginal birth

it's the only right way

After all it is the men who have to suffer the most in the process of pregnancy and childbirth

but their pain is ignored

so sad

Andthereyougo · 27/03/2024 13:06

When he’s pregnant he gets an opinion.

Original poster
Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:05

Festivemoose · 27/03/2024 13:04

This exact scenario is doing the rounds on Twitter today from an AITA post.

Really? Link?

OP posts:
Original poster
Anguish · 27/03/2024 13:05

PuttingDownRoots · 27/03/2024 13:03

Why does he think its better?

Not sure, I assume he just think it's the natural way and probably has a romanticized view of how a birth should be which for him, includes a vaginal birth.

Like I said he's a very sweet guy.

OP posts:
LadyKenya · 27/03/2024 13:04

I would have thought that unless there is a medical reason for a cs, then a vaginal birth was just what happens. I guess I am wrong.

Festivemoose · 27/03/2024 13:04

This exact scenario is doing the rounds on Twitter today from an AITA post.

SableGrape · 27/03/2024 13:04

He's being 100% unreasonable.

Your friend is also being a little bit unreasonable too though - sections aren't pain free and the recovery can be hard. She could have a vaginal birth with an epidural and be totally comfortable so her saying section = pain free isn't quite true and something she should talk to her midwife about.

Childbirth also isn't "the most painful thing a woman can go through" either!

PuttingDownRoots · 27/03/2024 13:03

Why does he think its better?

Mrsjayy · 27/03/2024 13:03

Anguish · 27/03/2024 12:57

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

Well he isn't lovely not really how dare he say this it isn't his body !

Blackcats7 · 27/03/2024 13:02

Tell him that when he can push a baby out of his fanny he can have an opinion.

StaySpicy · 27/03/2024 13:02

Everything everyone has already said.

It's her body, she can choose. He should be thankful he has a partner in a position to, hopefully, have a healthy baby. How the baby is born really doesn't have any bearing on that fact. And he certainly doesn't get to insist.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/03/2024 13:02

Why is she even with this control freak?

Immemorialelms · 27/03/2024 13:02

It's her choice and there are lots of good reasons why she might not be confident that the system will support her to have a good vaginal birth - women are massively let down when giving birth, often have more pain that necessary.

But if there is no medical reason why CS is needed, I reckon I would encourage my partner to find out about epidurals, good birthing positions, NCT, all that stuff - to avoid having a massive big hole cut in you that might not be necessary. I would find out all I could about birth and help reassure her that I would be there to advocate for what she needed and not let anyone leave her in pain.

But then, once I'd encouraged her, I would shut up.

pickledandpuzzled · 27/03/2024 13:01

I’d ask what his concerns are so I can take it into account when making MY decision.

AnyDayAnyWay · 27/03/2024 13:01

The only person who gets to insist on anything is the woman giving birth.

Funfuninthesunsun · 27/03/2024 13:01

Is he a commander in Gilead?