For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

My DH with our first was initially like that. No epidural, all natural, originally wanted home birth. It was ignorance.

After we almost died got rushed to theatre hes never said a peep again or commented on birth to any lady 😅

As I understand it, they put you under anaesthetic for the procedure.
It's not the procedure, although that is done normally under local. It is the recovery.
I would disagree a little the decision is the one giving birth and her medical teams.
But yes her partner sounds controlling and DV often starts in pregnancy

Well unless she's paying to go private it's pretty unlikely she'll be given a CS just because she's afraid of the pain, so what he thinks is irrelevent really.

She's being ridiculous, recovering from a c section is way more painful and difficult than 95% of vaginal births. There's advantages for the baby to be born vaginally too. In certain circumstances c sections save lives but as an elective, no I'm with him

Encouraging her to consider it and support her if she wants to try is sweet.
Putting his foot down is shit and reveals a hidden attitude of ownership over her birth.

The only thing he should care about is a healthy and well mum and baby at the end of it all. Not everyone gets that.

He doesn't get a say that's between the woman giving birth and the medical staff, maybe he holds some sort of old fashioned views. My own mil expressed to my dh that his cousin would be depressed because she had to have another section in her second birth. He asked me about it and I said live baby and mother at the end of the safe birth experience is the best outcome.

Having had both, I can categorically say that is utter nonsense.

Is this a reverse? Are you "the sweet guy"? Because it certainly sounds like you don't understand either.

Maybe he's a controlling bastard. Or maybe he is concerned for his wife having an operation, and her recovery time after. She is likely to need more support after a c section than with a vaginal delivery. Does he have enough time off work to provide this? Is finances a consideration? Does he wish for a large family and feels a c section may make this more difficult? Has he read things about a vaginal birth being safer for mother and baby and that being his main priority? Perhaps your friend needs to ask him? But ultimately, yes, of course it's your friends decision.

Depends on the vaginal birth, doesn’t it?

Erm doesn't your friend realise a C section probably more pain than vaginal birth?

Even good people will spout out some weird trope at some point.

Her body, her choice

He doesn't get to decide.

Your friend however may want to change her mind. A CS is not pain free or 'easier', not even a little bit. It's a major operation with a long and painful recovery.

I’ve given birth twice and my “proper” birth was the most traumatic thing I’ve experienced. Any man wishing that on their wife who wants to choose an alternative is a sick human with no concept of the boundary between his opinion and his wife’s body.

it could just be that he buys into negative conceptions about it, like it not being a 'real' birth etc.

And therefore the resulting baby isn't a real baby?

Presumably they decided to get pregnant to have a baby not an experience?

Maybe she can insist that a vasectomy will be their future contraception?

Pretty sure if a baby exits a woman's body then it's a birth. Not a real one, wtf🙄

I laughed out loud at the title. He can fuck off can’t he?

Has he actually watched any birthing videos?

Well he’s not lovely “in every conceivable way” is he? Because in this way he’s being an absolute asshole and he needs to be told that he’s being an absolute asshole. Let’s start judging men by how they act right in front of us, shall we?

Keep that friend very close and watch carefully. A man like that is a red flag. Could be he's just a dick. But could be a lot more.

//

👏👏

If it ends with a baby, it’s a real Birth!

Jesus, this guy dies not sound like he’s mature enough to have a baby.

He can push whatever he wants out of his own body. He doesn't get to decide what other people push out of theirs.

Although, an easy to get it thorugh to him. Ask his how he'll feel if she can't handle it, if she spends hours screaming and crying, if she has to have an emcs anyway. If she has a vaginal birth for his choice, all that pain and trauma she experiences will be directly his fault. She would be hurting herself for him. Is that what he wants?

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

//

Er - he really ain't!

He gets absolutely NO SAY in this. At all.

This is actually one of the worst examples of an entitled man I think I've read on MN. A man who will never ever understand the pain of a vaginal labour

He’s not a sweet guy or a nice guy. Maybe he was but this alone removes that title! I feel sick reading this. A man says this and your response is “he’s normally lovely”? Quite frankly, his previous character has been blown out of the water.