For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

Yes every woman can insist in the UK. It's our right to choose.

Well no. Not every woman can INSIST on a CS when there is no need for it.

Although I did the other way round and refused the CS the doctors were trying to push me into in my first labour

He doesn’t get a say. It’s her body and her birth. She just needs to go ahead and arrange it and then tell him that’s what’s been decided.

My concern would be how supportive he is after the birth if he’s really against it. Unless she has more support from family and friends at home she’s going to need him afterwards, as you can’t lift anything bigger than baby for 6 weeks, need help moving around in those early days, can’t drive etc.

I had an elective c-section for my DS (only got the one child so never done vaginal). C-section itself wasn’t painful at all - most painful bit was the cannula and even then they gave me local anaesthetic for it. The whole thing was generally such a positive experience, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. They were discharging me less than 24 hours after the surgery to my disbelief, so I asked to stay an extra day so I could have good painkillers as I was quite sore the first day or 2 once I was up and about. However, 48 hours after birth I was home with only paracetamol and ibuprofen and I don’t remember it being painful after that at all, just uncomfortable and a bit sore, and I was slow at moving. Genuinely the worst bit about my c-section recovery was the daily blood thinning injections for the first 10 days. DH had to help me stand up for the first few days and help me to the loo, to shower etc, so your friend will need some support at home if her DH is still being a prat.

However, within 4 days I was going for daily walks and within 6 days I was out and about going for a birthday meal and was pretty much feeling back to normal after a week, just being extra careful not to do anything to pull at my scar. So it can happen. However I also know people who had c-sections and an awful, painful recovery and were still struggling weeks in so it’s not a given it’s going to be pain free.

Put you under anaesthetic is a general anaesthetic, you are under, not awake. I was not the only one to point this out to the OP. Why twist the words to fit your own narrative.

Hmm don't think that's right at all. How are you defining safer? It's only going to be safer where there is a medical risk to mother or baby from not performing the section. Otherwise vaginal birth is much safer.

Which just goes to show everyone's experience is different really, doesn't it, as for me recovery from my c section was about a million times easier.

I believe statistically speaking an elective (not emergency) c section is safer than a vaginal birth.

Agreed!

1. unless he is her obstetrician he doesn't get to decide
2. childbirth is necessarily not "the most painful thing that can happen", and I hate the rhetoric that it is.

Absolutely this.

I think it's the 'lot less hassle' wording that gives me pause. It's just a weird and I think quite goady way to describe it.

I've had 3 c-sections so perhaps I'm a bit sensitive about but I hate them being made out to be an easy option, or wussy way out. I'd have loved to have had vaginal births, and would consider a 4th baby if I could.

I will never, ever have another section, as the recovery period was complete and utter hell, and very prolonged, especially the 3rd time.

That certainly wasn't the case for me. I had two vaginal births, the first of which was extremely bruising and traumatic, including a large episiotomy and further tearing so lots of stitches. My third birth was the caesarean and was far and away the best of the experiences. I recovered much more quickly from it too.

OP, your friend's husband will not be giving birth (I assume). No uterus and vagina = no valid opinion.

Men should have NO say at all in how their wives/partners give birth. Not their body, not their business.

Thats only if you have a straight forward vaginal birth which isn’t always the case.

Giving birth vaginally is preferable to some women but not all which is why women should have a choice.

Yes, she said "put you under anaesthetic", not "put you under". I think it was just clumsily worded. I've heard people say it like that before when they know the person will be awake.

wtf. closet sadist?

Dense? Did you read what the OP put? "Put under" is general anaesthetic and no, not everyone does know.

Really?

you have to be a GF at this point

It’s not about whether section or vaginal birth is better or worse. We are in the age easily accessible information and most women are able to read up about it and make an informed decision. Most presumably made an informed choice about the decision to have a baby anyway - we aren’t idiots!!

She could want a home birth assisted by Mr Blobby and a symphony orchestra playing ‘Push It’, it’s really none of her husband’s business to dictate what happens to her body.

Don't be dense, this poster obviously means you receive anesthesia during a C section, not that they put you under.

Not normally no. You get a spinal block/epidural and are awake for the whole procedure.

However, there are occasions like when I had my DS that an emergency arises and the epidural doesn’t take. There was no time to waste so I was given a general anaesthetic to save the life of both me and my son.

Without a CS one of both of us might not be here now so your friends OH needs to understand what he thinks is a lovely fluffy experience can be fucking painful terrifying and potentially life threatening. He needs to get his head out of his arse and get real. Childbirth isn’t a Disney movie

It's up to her but having given birth twice I wouldn't say it's the most painful thing I've experienced. I found giving birth naturally to be wonderful. So did my two sisters.

Once you've given birth naturally the recovery is fast. When you've had a caesarean you can't drive or bend etc for some time.

Of course some women have to have a caesarean but if you don't then giving birth as nature intended is preferable.

Well it was entirely true for me, and, I suspect, for plenty of other women.

I would rather staple my tongue to a rabid rhinoceros than give birth vaginally again.

By birthing parent, you mean mother? Please don't tell me that women identifying as trans men are requesting C Sections as a way of detaching themselves from the reality of being a woman going through normal vaginal childbirth?

They don't put you under unless a spinal or epidural fails or is not an option, or there is a emergency.

Do you now? 😐 This response makes me want to stroke my chin tbh.

Here's what the NHS says on maternal request C sections:

Some women choose to have a caesarean for non-medical reasons.

If you ask your midwife or doctor for a caesarean when there are not medical reasons, they'll explain the overall benefits and risks of a caesarean to you and your baby compared with a vaginal birth.

If you're anxious about giving birth, you should be offered the chance to discuss your anxiety with a healthcare professional who can offer support during your pregnancy and labour.
**
If after discussing all the risks and hearing about all the support on offer you still feel that a vaginal birth is not an acceptable option, you should be offered a planned caesarean. If your doctor is unwilling to perform the operation, they should refer you to a doctor who will.