For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

I suppose I just don't understand it. When my DC were born there was a definite move away from the over-medicalisation of childbirth and we were always told that it was natural, our bodies were designed to do it, and unless we were extremely unlucky and a CS (either elective or emergency) was a matter of life and death, then too much medical intervention was invasive, unnecessary and even damaging for our recovery. Everyone was pushing home births and water births, and 'natural' births with less pain relief, fewer episiotomies, etc. We were told it was better to tear than to be cut as it healed better. I was also told I was entitled to request an epidural for pain relief. It didn't stop them totally ignoring my wishes and deliberately wasting time and fobbing me off until it was too late to give me one anyway. And it was on my birth plan, so it wasn't as if they didn't have plenty of warning.

"I feel sick reading this." @TeenLifeMum

I'm sure we voted the same way, but you do not feel sick. That's so stupid.

Yes, it's very dodgy behaviour. And would be equally so if the friend wanted to go for a vaginal birth and he was trying to pressure her into ELCS.

Well luckily you don't decide on the NICE guidelines, so your opinion on the matter is irrelevant really.

He might be a 'sweet guy' most of the time - but trying to control how your partner gives birth is not 'sweet'.

Sounds like a bit of male entitlement to me and that doesn't mean he's not perfectly nice in other ways, but the fact is that he thinks he should get to have some say over this. He doesn't.

It's not his body so it's not his choice.

It's her choice. Having said that, recovering from cutting through half of your belly isn't going to be without pain...

That was certainly true for me. My first two deliveries were traumatic vaginal deliveries. My third was an emergency caesarean and by far the best.

Why?

Maternity care is one situation where the woman is going to be receiving care within a pretty specific time period anyway. There isn't an option to just put her on a waiting list not yet anyway. The NHS will be attending to her and utilising resources.

There are risks and benefits to both ELCS and attempted VB, and no good evidence that attempted VB is any cheaper overall. We have a birthing population that are older and fatter than they used to be, and the trend is only going one way. Hence the NICE recommendations that the NHS are following, or meant to be anyway.

You get an epidural or a spinal block as a matter of routine. General anaesthetic is much less common but can be used when all else fails, is contra-indicated for some reason, or for speed in the event of a dire emergency.

I find the idea that you can 'insist' on something and get what you want, in the NHS really quite unbelievable. Irrepsecitve of whether you get it or not, I think I am rather appalled that demanding a CS with no medical justification is even an option, frankly. Especially at the moment, when most people can't even insist on seeing a doctor in sensible time frame, let alone insist on what treatment they want and when they want it. This doesn't always happen when there is demonstrable medical need and urgency, let alone when there isn't.

He doesn't have a vagina so no opinion on how she should give birth.

He's clearly not lovely or anywhere near a perfect partner.

ELECTIVE CESEAREAN SECTION.

Theee are some slight increased risks of things like asthma from CS over vaginal and worries about not getting the bacterial protection from the vaginal canal or something. They're very minor though. Has he maybe read something like that and blown it out of proper toon?

What's ELCS?

Alternatively, there's no good evidence that ELCS actually saves the NHS money overall, and people who assume it does without looking into the issue any further are going to draw inaccurate conclusions.

Not the answers to how many of them choose elective CS though

Who’s carrying and birthing this baby her or him.!!. However unless someone has had a previous c section or there’s a medical or traumatic reason she probably won’t be given one. They don’t do them just because a women doesn’t want to go through all the pain, or do they.

I have reported

why do people bother with this stupid kinds of posts

Well if it's gone that way then something wrong. So the NHS is apparently always short of money yet they letting people take up resources by wanting doctors surgeons etc rather than just a midwife for no medical reasons whatsoever. No wonder it's in such a state

From someone who suffers from Gallstones, and had a drug free Vaginal Birth …. Trust me, a Vaginal Birth is not the most painful thing that can happen to a woman. Her choice though

Vaginal birth recovery is only fast if the birth is uncomplicated. Mine wasn't, and I couldn't sit down comfortably for six months. Going to the toilet was very difficult for a similar length of time too.

I recovered much better and faster from my third birth, which was a caesarean and wished I had had one for all three of mine.

I have met a lot of midwives whose insistence on normality at all costs was dangerous, and often has tragic outcomes.

That's the doctors. They like medicalizing stuff. Interested to see the % of midwives who go for elective CS

He can give birth out of his vagina any time he likes. Oops, no vagina? Then he can shut up and fuck off.

Your friend’s DH doesn’t sound quite as nice as you think. But then controlling and abusive behaviour often starts during pregnancy. Stay close to your friend - she may need you.

I had a boss who, in conversation it turned out his pregnant wife was at the Dr as the midwives/consultants were concerned about size of baby and wanted to discuss c section. He hadn't even attended the appointment and said, in a very blasé fashion, "oh, its fine, women have been giving birth for thousands of years". I schooled him...

More importantly, he was also a "sweet guy". Except, as it turned out, not so much. He was sweet and nice when everyone was in their place doing what he wanted (women in particular). None of the women I know who worked for him have maintained any contact with him. And Last I heard, his highly qualified and successful wife got tired of being left as the default parent, went back to work and he then promptly had an affair and they got divorced. No idea if he is an engaged father but suspect he's the classic example of a Disney dad.

Just sayin'.

These sorts of comments from "sweet" men are often the harbinger of discovering he's actually a deeply misogynist entitled wa ner.