For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

How can he ‘insist’ on anything? Is he going to wrestle the surgeons off her?

I mean it’s good for them both to discuss options but him ‘insisting’? No thank you.

If he’s otherwise lovely and this is something out of character I would worry about other changes to his character once the baby arrives and I would be really concerned if this was my friend.

Ah..... no. Your friend needs to research this carefully.

I've had one VB and two sections - one emergency and the second because of the complications with the previous efforts to have a VB.

I got a spinal anaesthetic. Same as epidural that I had for my VB.
I've never heard of someone having general anesthetic for a section.

There was no pain during the operation itself but the recovery was very painful. Start with the horrendous shoulder pain for 2 from trapped wind after abdominal surgery.... its quite common apparently but nobody tells you about it until you are almost crippled on your hospital bed. I had that both times.
The scar is the least of the worries, there is pain, chance of infection, difficulty holding, feeding and winding your baby comfortably, not being able to drive, do ordinary household tasks for 6 weeks etc.
Now don't get me wrong. In both my cases a c section was a godsend because my babies wouldn't have survived otherwise. So sections are an amazing solution to a medical problem. But choosing one because you think they are less painful is ill advised.

Not necessarily, l was up and about and felt great after a few hours , had no pain really.

If by "good" reason you mean the mother's preference then yes
If you're suggesting they need a medical reason then you're wrong.
People have quoted the actual NICE guidance in the thread, its very clear. Women can have an elective caesarean for any reason, neither the MN jury nor even her treating consultant have to approve her rationale.

It's also not a high risk procedure- and is significant less risky than an emergency c-section - 1 in 3 first time mums need an emergency c-section anyway (and nearly 1 in 2 need some sort of assistance beyond midwife care) so people planning for a c-section in advance reduces the risk for mother and baby.

Bloody hell. My ex husband is a right arsehole but even he wouldn’t have voiced an opinion about birth options beyond “give her all of what she wants, when she wants it.”

This.

If you are the “ friend “ then you need to be very very careful , because abuse often steps up during pregnancy and after childbirth.

And if it really is your friend then I suggest you educate yourself about abuse because your friend will really REALLY need support sometime soon.

Was gonna say the same. The worst pain in my life (worse than childbirth/induction) was the trapped wind after an EMCS and the second was the constipation after one. Also cried in pain more than once too a few days after the surgery. I’d always go

But none of his business. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, if he’s a nice guy is it because he wants to minimise complications from surgery and can’t bear to see her cut open? Not that seeing her in labour will be a much nicer experience of course.

@TooraLoora

That is fine because it is then medically necessary.

Having a c-section because you don’t want to put yourself out with childbirth or don’t want your vagina stretched is ridiculous considering the risks. And the NHS should not be funding it.

@pinkmushroom5 there are women who end up with pelvic pain issues from vaginal birth and bad tearing, it can also be traumatic, there are lots of stories of this type. That's not to say a cesarean is a breeze. I can't speak personally but women have their reasons, and if mental health is improved by choosing a cesarean I think that's very well justified.

I’d love to know what the stats are for midwives.

The fact that OBGYN Drs often choose CS for their own births isn’t a coincidence. They are the ones who deal with the complicated and difficult births. They presumably are rarely present to witness a spontaneous vagina birth so it’s not at all surprising that they see CS as the best option.

I think knowing how many midwives choose vaginal birth or CS for themselves would be a more interesting piece of information.

All that aside, the man described in the OP needs to shut up and let his partner decide what she wants.

Same! C section was walk in the park compared to vaginal.

YANBU OP. He doesn't sound 'sweet' at all by insisting what his wife does with her body.

You can choose to have a section for non-medical reasons.

As far as I’m aware, you have a vaginal birth unless there’s a medical reason not to? In any case, it’s not his choice. The person giving birth decides , not him.

Again what’s it got to do with him what you’re wearing? It wasn’t his medical procedure or his choice of outfit

@RandomButtons

Not really, bulk of evidence is that vaginal delivery prevents a lot of illness by allowing normal development of the immune system and that c-section should only be carried out if actually medically necessary.

More info here
https://www.center4research.org/c-section-birth-health-risks/

@BusyMummy001

Wrong thread, I think. 🤣🤣

@Justkeeepswimming You have some strong opinions, as is your right, but not everyone agrees.

The NHS offer elective C-sections to women who want to give birth that way.

Women have the right to make that choice and the decision to have a section or not is between the woman and her doctor and nobody else.

Vaginal delivery is not necessarily the most painful thing that can happen to a woman. I had three and none of them could be described as the worst pain ever.

Tooth abscess? Much worse.
Kidney stone? Much worse.
Bone cancer or osteomyelitis? Much worse.

Some women have a tough time but many don’t find it awful at all.

I can’t understand anyone wanting a C-section just in case it might possibly hurt to give birth vaginally.

We do have elective caesareans in the UK but it has to be for a good reason because it’s a high risk procedure so your friend is likely to be encouraged by the doctor to have a vaginal birth but offered a caesarean if it is confirmed she has a real phobia/fear of the pain of labour.

NICE guidelines say section can be requested

As others have said it’s none of his business. Her body = her choice. What happens if she would need an emergency section? Would that be “allowed”?

• he doesn’t get a say, it isn’t his body or decision.

But to have a major operation you do not need due to fear of the unknown is not a sensible health choice for mum or baby.

Tell your friend to tell him that if he demonstrates inserting a watermelon up his arse because she "insists" he experience that then she will consider a vaginal birth. Then tell her to have whatever birth plan she wants regardless.