For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

No research is required to know a man should not be insisting a woman gives birth how he dictates. How she wishes to give birth is entirely up to her, whether her partner or any of us agree with her or not. It seems many people here are just as bad as her husband, maybe they think every woman’s birth plan should be decided by their local community.

How patronising.

Which research would YOU like to share? Clearly it will be that which plays to your own biases. Luckily though, NICE and the NHS doesn’t care about your opinion. And their guidance, which thankfully supports the rights of women to have bodily autonomy, are heavily researched based.

I don't think we have enough context here. A straightforward vaginal birth is definitely preferable to a c section. If there are known risks then an elective c section might be a better option. What exactly is it that he's insisting about?

Admit it op, you lifted this off X.
There's no friend or husband really, you just wanted to take it for your own.

I'm always surprised how vehement some people are on this topic when they've not done even the bare minimum of research.

What do you mean you’re with him? In that you agree he gets to override what his wife wants and insists on her giving birth how he chooses? Because that’s the point here, not how SHE wants to choose to give birth, but him insisting his say goes. Is that really what you’re agreeing with?

He's not lovely, he's a cunt,

Insist? He'd be history 😡

@Justkeeepswimming

you seem to have quite a lot of internalised misogyny

are you one of those people who think women shouldn’t complain about birth injuries and just be grateful that the baby is ok?

Insist away old boy! Speaking as a two-time father I can tell you that in the delivery room nobody, but nobody will pay the blindest bit of attention to anything you (the father) says.

HTH

Re. Recovery - absolute exhaustion first few weeks as breast feeding too and difficulty walking. Some shoulder pain but not mad, could get up and hold baby (but I’d had other major surgery before so was used to how things felt).

Horrific constipation and bowel issues, bladder issues that are still ongoing as are issues with adhesions/scar tissue. Wound briefly infected.

Felt like a human at about 4 months post birth.

@Anguish

Is your "friend" in the UK?

Do you think abortion should be covered on the NHS? After all it's rarely medically necessary, right? How about pain relief? The majority of people might not actually die without it so is that medically necessary?

You're suggesting the only reasons for preferring a c section are laziness ("put yourself out") or vanity "stretched vagina") but neither make sense.
As many people have pointed out a caesarean can be as/more painful than giving birth, with a longer recovery time, which all consultants have to explain as part of the decision making process. Nobody picks a c-section thinking it will be a walk in the park, just that it would be preferable for them in their specific circumstances. Why would someone so vain they don't want a "stretched vagina" opt for a scar?

Maybe give other women the respect of accepting they make medical decisions about their own body for an appropriate reason rather than laziness or vanity?

You will, however, instead be choosing a different set of risks. Including the risk of the most dangerous type of section, EMCS.

And of course giving birth vaginally can mean a recovery lasting months, or worse. What a silly thing to claim. There is no option for giving birth that doesn't involve risk of all kinds of unpleasant things. You're another one who ought to read the NICE guidance before taking such a strong opinion.

Re. General anaesthetic for caesarean… Nope. Spinal block and was awake for the whole thing. Just felt like rummaging around in tummy and they had a sheet up so I couldn’t see.

Stop it 😂 how is it pain free?? It’s literally not. That might be your experience but it’s certainly not everyone’s

You know what is scarier to me that he said this? That he thought about it in the first place. Something is very wrong here. I feel for your poor friend.

What utter nonsense!!
Of course it's completely pain free.
Yes of course there's some recovery time to factor in, as with any operation, but I can assure you that the procedure itself is completely pain free, and amazingly enough a real baby pops out too! Thank goodness the CS option is there from those who need/prefer it for whatever reason.

This - a C-section isn't a "get out of pain free" card.

I've had both, and recovered much more quickly from the vaginal birth.

Not every hospital offers the choice. I would think that most wouldn't offer one except for medical necessity

Vaginal births are offered pain relief, too, though. Has she considered an epidural? (I just had gas and air - I still felt the pain but didn't give a monkey's)

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · Today 13:00
Her birth her choice, however a c-section is not pain free by any means. You have major abdominal surgery that takes weeks/ months to recover and is painful for far longer (not as intense).

That's some womens experience - it wasn't mine and I have done it both ways. I know several friends thst would say the same as me.

And OP, any man who thinks he has the right to tell his own wife how to deliver her baby isn't a good guy in my book. How dare he?!

Maternal choice is a completely valid reason to request a csection

Your friend is entitled to a csection for any reason, however it probably won’t be under anaesthetic - GA comes with risks of its own and isn’t something you can just request out of preference. CS recovery is also very painful for a lot of people and if her dh isn’t supportive of her choice will he be supportive in her recovery?

I totally agree it’s up to her but if she thinks cs is the pain free option she’s incredibly misinformed.

@pinkmushroom5

As far as I was aware elective caesareans are only where there is a medical risk - multiple north, known medical issue.

Or where the woman has a mental health problem such as extreme anxiety or other issue…

They aren’t, and shouldn’t be, handing them out like smarties it’s 10k!!