For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

@Wiseoldminerva not judging anyone's choice, there's no need to take issue with what I said. An uncomplicated vaginal birth is preferable to a c section in terms of recovery

You haven't had one have you?! Yes, there will be an epidural or a general anaesthetic but it's still major abdominal surgery, and there is post-op pain and some extent of mobility issues after the op. I had morphine, voltarol and paracetamol for a few days after mine.
Anyway he can't "insist" and no man who tries to make decisions like this in his wife's behalf is as sweet and lovely as you claim.

It doesn't sound the the actions of a loving partner. Perhaps she can insist he slowly insert a knitting needle up his urethra and let him join in the pain as labour progresses?

Erm, you do realise an anaesthetic will be administered?CS under anaesthetic it will be pain free, experience feeling of tugging and pressure though. Mum usually awake and aware of surgeons and working

I have never given birth vaginally and all my CS were pain free with v quick recovery

Not necessarily. I had a completely pain-free c-section and recovered much quicker and in a lot less pain than the previous vaginal birth.

I have friends who were the opposite. Everyone is different.

It's her body. So he really has no say.
That being said, does she know C-sections are also not a walk in the park?

If he can stick a gala melon up his bum only using gas and air then he gets a vote. If he can’t, he don’t.

This!

Yes you’re absolutely right, it’s my comprehension that’s lacking, and not all the people arguing about which method is best as if they think their opinion should matter to this poor woman just the same as her husband does.

Its derailing, just because a lot of people are doing it, doesn’t suddenly make it helpful or ok. I’m going to stop arguing with you about this now, because I’m not going to assist in the derailment even further.

He isn't 'lovely' if he's insisting on how your friend gives birth

Her body - her choice

However

I don't think your friend is necessarily understanding that whilst an epidural will numb the pain during the procedure, the recovery is very different afterwards

That isn't to say it's worse than vaginal birth - but the vast majority of people I know who have had both, state it's much harder having a CS

When he grows a womb - he can choose

Until then - off you fuck old chap

A) it’s her choice and
B) it isn’t always that painful (2 vaginal births with no anaesthetic)

Your comprehension skills are too lacking for you to be able to pull off this kind of attitude.

The fact is that lots of posters, even some who unlike me haven't set out exactly how unacceptable it is for the father to think he has a say, have talked about the risks and benefits of ELCS v attempted vaginal birth. That is one of the directions the thread has gone, like it or not. You aren't the thread police and nobody needs your approval to talk about those issues.

Some of the people who've talked about them have, unfortunately, waded in without actually doing any research and blithely assured us that eg you can't just request a CS with no medical indication when any fule kno that the NICE guidance begs to differ.

was that in response to my comment?

A c-section isn't an "easy" option but neither is birth some lovely, idealised spectator experience marketed at prospective fathers with a menu of options from which they can select.

It can be wonderful but at its core is the potentially dangerous and often painful extraction of one human being from another. It is gory, unpleasant and unpredictable, occasionally with fatal consequences for the mother or baby and often causing injuries of varying severity to the mother. Amidst all of this, one of the things which makes it safer for women giving birth is feeling like they have agency and autonomy over what happens to them during the process. If you look at reviews of maternity crises up and down the country, a common theme is women being infantilised, not listened to, not believed, treated with disrespect, their concerns dismissed or sidelined and essentially treated as objects or vessels in their own care rather than human beings. This approach kills women and babies.

I'm at a complete loss as to why your friend's husband would want to treat her this way. The correct response in the circumstances is "I will support you in whatever you choose".

At the end of the day, both vaginal & c-section births can be utter carnage, and again, both vaginal & c-section births can be amazing.

Women are individuals, and have their own unique experiences.

Let your own wife decide how she births @Anguish , it's not your place to dictate to her over her own body.

she can do what the F she likes with her body when it comes to her giving birth.

And no he is NOT an absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way despite him saying this out of character comment.

Well the problem is that we've no way of knowing in advance which way we'll find the easier option. Even those of us who sample both only find out for sure afterwards. For me, that's exactly what CS was, but that isn't to say that any other random woman off the street would feel the same.

Even to the extent that it's possible to weigh up the risks and benefits for an individual woman based on her age, future plans etc, that still doesn't tell us whether she's going to be one of the ones who finds tearing more painful than post surgery. Or vice versa.

I find it so bizzarre when people who never gave birth and have no medical experience jump on threads like this one!

Vaginal birth going wrong can leave woman with much longer health implications than normal Csection. People claiming otherwise don't have slightes idea about four degree tears etc.
Amd vaginal bacteria can normally be introduced to a baby by swab. Many hospitals do that as it is not extra cost or time consuming

How is that research relevant to what this thread is about, a man who think HE gets to decide how his wife gives birth? Or are you just here to help the derailers arguing about what way is best?

Never had a vaginal birth as first was prem, 2nd was breech and 3rd was large. They don't do zips on the n.h.s. apparently according to my obs.😁

It’s sounds like the pair of them have completely over simplified the situation

he thinks it’s like shelling peas
and she thinks it minor op and over and done with

Ultimately it’s obvious down to her.
OP says he’s nice could it be he’s worried about how she’d cope with a Caesarian rather than normal delivery

tbh the both sound very ill informed and uneducated about the whole process

You rarely get a choice but if you did someone whose body isn't affected wouldn't be making the decision.

God these threads are so annoying, derailed by people discussing what THEY think the better choice is, rather than focusing on the actual problem here, a controlling man.