For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

@ReadingSoManyThreads

I can concur that toothache, gallbladder and endometriosis pain are worse…. The main thing I wanted to be over with labour was the exhaustion.

And plenty of people on this thread had the opposite experience, so perhaps recognise that everyone is different, eh?

@Cosycover

At the time you are right - very straightforward process and actually a relief for me after a prolonged labour and complications…

But by comparison to friends who had vaginal births I was incapacitated for a much longer period after the birth and have long term issues.

Only one I know who had VB with a similar length of recovery was one with a vaginal tear front to back which was excruciating- but note she was very tiny and short and had a big baby.

Right?! I get so furious when natural birth purists say things like "oh women have been doing this for thousands of years". Yes they have, and they used to die at much higher rates, too.

Having had an emergency c-section after the joy of 28 hours of labour with no epidural, I can safely say that c-section (even a fraught emergency one) was less painful by several orders of magnitude.

Of course, some people have amazing straightforward vaginal births and some people have awful painful c-sections. The point is, this guy isn’t the one who has to get an 8lb human out of his body, so he can fuck right off.

No, they give you an epidural and you are awake throughout

Only if it is an emcs and you haven’t already been given an epidural. Then they knock you out.

I have had 2 CSs and was fine. Definitely less issues that some of my NCT group had

If he doesn’t consider a CS a real birth then what is it and why does he have some very strange ideas as to what labour and giving birth is all about

He does realise that he can insist all he likes and write out a birthing plan but usually those plans go out of the window at sone point after the first contraction

If things start to go wrong then the medical team looking after his wife are going to not take any notice of what he insists

My question would be, What happens if things don’t turn out like he insists and his wife has an Emcs

Will he spit his dummy out and not bond with his dc as they hadn’t had a real birth and is he going to hold it against his wife that she couldn’t give him the real birthing experience he is visualising

I think it is the people who have set ideas about what pregnancy, birthing and parenthood are going to be like who struggle with the reality.

@Justkeeepswimming The NHS guidance is in place and has been put together by medical professionals, i.e. people who know what they are talking about.

You don't need to understand.

You are biased because you had a bad experience, many people do not have that experience, and there are thousands of reasons why someone may want a section rather than a natural birth.

Let's be glad that we live in a society where there is a choice available.

I've had a tooth abscess and a kidney stone and neither of them even touched the sides of natural labour and birth for me. Fuck me, I wanted to die. I don't think I'll ever forget how horrific it was. The C section was on another planet for me, just a totally different (better) experience.

My DH found the c section birth far easier to witness than the vaginal one. He felt helpless watching me in pain during labour. And then when things started going a bit wrong during vaginal birth with baby’s heart rate dropping, suddenly there were 10 people rushing into the room and they were telling me that baby needs to come out now and to bear down hard with my next contraction. My husband was terrified as he had no idea what was going on but it was obvious it had all got a bit serious.

C-section couldn’t have been more calm by comparison with classical music playing in the background and chatting away with the anaesthetist about baby names.

Glad you had a good birth experience,it’s important
I had zero pain but felt tugging & activity. Didn't feel any incision or pain, didn’t feel the birth.
Unfortunately CS gets maligned and negatively talked up as if it an intervention too far

Next time he has a root canal or surgery done, she should insist he does it without pain relief so they can both experience the romance and beauty of pre-industrial medical procedures. Everyone knows that things like birth, dentistry and surgery were so much better back in those halcyon natural days.

As someone who has had both. It really really REALLY isn't.

@InfiniteGoodVibes

There is no need to be insulting.

I have said ultimately that it is the woman’s choice, nothing to do with the man.

But I do not understand why anyone would want to put their body through major surgery for no medical reason. Nor do I understand why the NHS is funding it. But if those are the guidelines so be it.

As for the kangaroo pouch - nobody told me this would happen and it’s an unslightly reminder of caesarean. Honestly I would have loved to avoid the whole thing but I had no choice.

Women can and do have CS by request. We are getting a lot more attuned & sensitive to such requests. Interestingly the detractors and alarmists of CS by request are other women, natural birth advocates, doulas . Ideologically there are those who have an anti-medical agenda and will always talk up risk and complications of a CS. Birth in itself is risky. Huge physical and mental health risk arising from birth and postnatal period

He has no right to insist and it is her decision. However, I also think "why would he care" is kinda unfair to say.

Nope, I mean birthing parent. HTH.

Was DH born 350 years ago?

I didn't even feel any tugging or pressure - had no idea they'd even cut me open until they said "your baby's been born".

Recovery was a bloody dream, way better than my vaginal birth.

Well it was a lot less hassle for me.

No crazy long labour. Plenty of rest before and after. Nice private room to recover in (NHS). Planned C section at 10am got to hospital fully rested at 9am, back in recovery room by 11am with baby. No issues peeing or pooing after birth. Super quick recovery. Was going about my normal business, shopping in JL and going out for lunch etc by day 5.

Compared with my vaginal birth, long labour, tearing, stitches etc, my c section was a breeze!

Every woman needs to go with her doctor’s recommendations. Nothing to do with anyone else.🙄

I appreciate you had a negative experience, it sounds awful, but any woman can choose to have a Caesarian on the NHS, after discussing the relative risks and benefits with a health care professional.

The NHS offer this for very good reasons, and the availability of this choice to women is backed up by evidence and healthcare professionals/ doctors.

Your opinion on what other people should do regarding their own childbirth decisions is really not relevant. Women get to decide for themselves.

@LuckySantangelo35

I don’t know why someone would put themselves through major surgery when there is no medical reason to and their body is absolutely capable of giving birth.

I don’t think it is a sensible health choice unless there is a reason.

That’s my opinion, you are entitled to yours.

Doesn't sound like you know much about it. I had no issues requesting one. There doesn't have to be a medical need. I was asked why I wanted one. That was it.

😂

Hi,

It sounds as though they are both terribly stressed about it. Is their any way to help reassure them and dial them down a bit so they can have a calm discussion about it? I think that the stress and uncertainty can make it very hard for people to think clearly about this stuff.