For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way,

Er no he's not. He sounds a complete twat and he does not get to insist anything about someone else's body.

Yes but when the anaesthetic wears off it is painful and it takes a long time to recover as it is a major operation.

Ok. I’ll correct myself, the surgery may be pain free but the recovery isn’t

😂😂😂😂😂

CS are pain free that’s the point. CS Analgesia is either spinal block or epidural, or rarely GA

Her body, her choice but I do think your friend is a bit delusional to think a c section is pain free! Has she considered an epidural instead?

A birthing parent is always a mother. What she may choose to call herself is neither here nor there. If she's giving birth she's both a woman and a mother.

Not up to him. So yanbu but yabu cos
childbirth isn’t the most painful thing to ever happen to a woman for many woman. I can list a number of things more painful that I hope no one ever has to experience and I’d choose Vaginal delivery naturally over them every time.

Yeah he's be getting a very loud "fuck off" from me.

My DH supported the decisions I made about childbirth. It was advised I was induced due to baby stopping growing at 38 weeks. I agreed and DH supported. They offered a C-section due to a number of reasons regarding my past infertility, miscarriages and anxiety but not due to a risk of baby, I declined, DH supported.

He gets to decide when he's growing the baby.

If he’s talking about pushing the baby out of his chuff then yes 100% his choice.

If not talking about his body he needs stop talking and start listening to what SHE wants.

her body - her choice - end of.

Yes I agree with the final point here - you need a hands on partner, which I did, and I imagine it is a lot easier if you don’t also have a toddler. My oldest was almost 8 when his brother appeared.

Re. The husband - he needs a strong talking to now. He’s either being a bit stupid focusing on a natural birth - or he’s controlling. Hopefully it’s the former and she can make him understand he has no say.

My dad tried this. He was a maternity specialist at the time.

My mum divorced him six months later.

I didn't think I'd given birth that long ago! It didn't occur to me it was an option. Maybe our midwives just cleverly worded it so that we didn't consider it an option except in cases where the baby was turned the wrong way etc. In the end, it's up to the mother to decide, but I imagine that the DH 'insisting' means that he's really worried, rather than really controlling. I wasn't given the option of a home birth either because of complications the first time around.

@InfiniteGoodVibes

You also continue…

With rudeness and intolerance of others opinions.

I’m very glad that your caesarean was a success and that you had no complications.

That does not mean everyone has the same experience.

By the way it’s ‘bollocks’ 😊 if you want to insult people, at least spell it correctly.

I mean he can't insist on anything but for what it's worth I had both and would take labour every day of the week even though I ended up with a 4th degree tear. Much quicker recovery and back to feeling myself much sooner than my CS. I think the only way that a CS is a pleasant option is if you have someone to care for you and baby afterwards so you can rest. Yes it is civilised but the aftermath was horrific for me.

If you'd bothered to RTFT you'd see that it absolutely is an option and doesn't have to be medically necessary.

Yes, they will give elective caesareans. It is an option under the NICE guidelines. You can have to push for it, and some doctors or midwives may argue, but it is an option that is supposedly available.

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way

No he’s not, he’s a controlling dick and I’d be very concerned for my friend in this relationship. He has no right to any input how she gives birth.

The first poster got it in one.

I think it's strange a husband would 'insist' on a specific form of childbirth. By all means, have a discussion about fears/concerns regarding different options, and definitely work together on a birth plan that includes what might happen if things don't go to plan; but no one except the woman giving birth should be able to insist on what happens (excluding medical emergencies).

This is a really emotive issue, so I wouldn't place too much value on posters who insist their experience/view of birth is the 'correct' one. Some people have easier vaginal births than others, some people end up needing intervention whether they want it or not and some people would prefer a c-section (I fall into the latter camp). FWIW, I recovered from my c-section without long term damage, was home and caring for my new baby within 48hours. Personally, I couldn't imagine anything worse than being awake for such a procedure, so requested - and was granted - a GA. I did read up on the risks well in advance and this was a decision that was right for me as an individual, which does not mean it's right for everyone.

Define medically necessary? If a woman requests a CS that will usually be accommodated . Women can and do have CS by request. We are getting a lot more attuned & sensitive to such requests. Interestingly the detractors and alarmists of CS by request are other women, natural birth advocates, doulas . Ideologically there are those who have an anti-medical agenda and will always talk up risk and complications of a CS. Birth in itself is risky. Huge physical and mental health risk arising from birth and postnatal period

The people your friend should listen to are people like me who have done it both ways.

There are pros and cons to both but if a c section is more painful than a vaginal birth something has gone very wrong.

I recovered very quickly from my cs. My second degree tear in my vulva from my vaginal birth has actually been more problematic long term.

I totally get that @Pookerrod but I think the difference is that some pain relief can have an impact on some babies.

I’m not for a moment suggesting anyone should labour without pain relief or should feel pressured to- just that the impact of drugs on the baby will be taken into account by the mother and may be a reason why some women reject them. That is obviously not a factor when one is having a root canal so explains the small difference between the two scenarios.

Another possible reason for choosing not to have any drugs is that some women are worried the drugs will make them feel too woozy and want to be able to remember everything clearly afterwards. Again, no one particularly wants or needs to remember the details of their root canal treatment afterwards!

You continue.....

You are the one who insults with your own opinion - and it is your own opinion.

But I do not understand why anyone would want to put their body through major surgery for no medical reason.

I had NO MEDICAL REASON. I wanted a C section. A fabulous birth it was!

Your issues are your own. But if you don't want anyone to comment stop posting bollox.

Is caesarean even an option? NHS won't give you a caesarean unless it's medically necessary. Vaginal birth with epidural is best if she wants to avoid the pain. Caesarean is a major operation and difficult to breastfeed/ look after baby while recovering. DH is right on this one and probably thinking about what's best for her in long run.