For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

Agreed. I wanted a natural birth but due to sever complications I had a ecs I was not awake it was so touch and go. I had to be put under. The only real pain I had was if I sat up too fast one staple felt like it would burst. Other then that it was a breeze. Baring needed medical intervention your friend should have her baby however the heck she wants.

Well then listen up, I’ve had multiple CS. No pain whatsoever. No complications post op.speedy recovery. All CS were emergency CS
Never had a vaginal birth,

You really don’t have the right to impose,berate or persuade a woman what health choice to make.
Advocate for yourself. Don’t get all persuaded about your partner choices
When you are pregnant, by all means make that choice for yourself

You don’t have to have counselling.

My midwife referred me to the consultant at my booking appointment. She asked me if I wanted a mental health referral too (because of previous medical trauma influencing my decision) and I said yes, but could have declined and this would not have stopped me from having the consultant appointment. Incidentally, the perinatal mental health team actually said my referral didn’t meet the threshold for their services so I was passed on to general Talking Therapies, who no doubt will have a waiting list get exceeding the remainder of my pregnancy.

Context is everything
if my partner was wanting a caesarian purely for the reason they thought it would be a pain free option . I think I’d be persuading them against it as I think they were setting themselves up for a fall it’s not the operation it’s the recovery

it’s all about the wording
if someone posted my partner was a Caesarian because they want to be pain free should advise against it there’d be an overwhelming yes

probably the reason he’s against Caesarian is because he know it’s not going to be the easy option she thinks it is

When he gets himself pregnant, he'll be able to give birth however he wants.

Is your friend Meghan Markle? If so, yes her partner will have probably requested a vaginal birth in accordance with royal protocol!

It's very disturbing that so many people think women either don't or shouldn't have a say in their own healthcare.

I was 42 hours into labour when told I NEEDED. a CS. Which I refused and DD born vaginally a couple of hours after. So as I said I obviously didn't need one

What an absolute arsehole. Really am flabbergasted that any man would think they have a say in this. He’s absolutely not a nice guy.

What a cheek- I'm very much of the view if men gave birth there would only be single child families

Not quite as impressive as your inability to RTFT and your weird resentment against women only repeating what their midwives told them. It really cheers me up to come on mumsnet and realise that, for all my faults, I'm not as nasty and bitter as many women out there!

😂😂😂😂😂

I’ve heard this quite a bit about not going through the birth canal….

This!

DH said to me when I was having DS1, 'Are there only the two ways of giving birth?'
Me 'What do you mean?'
DH 'Well I thought there might be another option I didn't know about.'
Me 'Like what- what other option could there possibly be?'
DH 'I don't know. If I knew I wouldn't be asking.'

I have thought about it numerous times- did he think there was another exit from the womb that led somewhere else? Or did he think some kind of anatomical hoover was possible. It still seems such a bonkers question.

Honestly, lots of pros to having a vaginal birth. Curious as to why CS are seen as the "easy" option. I think it's a symptom of our overmedicalised society

In a C section they cut you open and then rip your stomach muscles because they apparently heal better that way. I needed two litres of blood transfused during the c section. And 17 years later I still have that C section pouch under my scar that makes me look still pregnant.

I remember after the procedure begging for more morphine after they took the catheter out and my full bladder starting pressing against the internal wounds. And I am not one to usually even want to take paracetamol. And then I ended up with a womb infection which went undiagnosed for 2 months.

My children ended up with digestive issues not helped by not going through the birth canal where a child is exposed to their mothers bacteria and their infant reflexes did not go dormant which can trigger ND traits - the movement through the birth canal of a child's shoulder hitting either side is the first trigger for crawling.

I believe in all women's right to choose what happens to their body - its not her husband's choice but I hope she has researched things to realise a C section is not something to have done to you with understanding what happens during and after it.

Just to add; often abuse/coercive control doesn’t start until during pregnancy so just because it’s out of character up to this point doesn’t mean it’s not a red flag.

No they weren’t

demand? No
Request,yes
NICE guidelines and good practice is to let women make informed health choices and that includes requesting a CS. Potential mental distress & anxiety is as valid a reason as hypertension
A midwife 16y experience has directly addressed this topic on this thread

I’ve had both vaginal birth and C-section can fully admit my vaginal birth was 10x worse than my section! My section was just an epidural even after wards was actually ok I was bed bound for the rest of the day after it other than that I was up and about down seeing my baby in baby care!
my vaginal birth was horrid!

@easylikeasundaymorn

It is more to do with the state of the NHS than any judgement over anyone.

People are waiting 4-6years+ on waiting lists, and are literally dying before they can get seen, the system is near collapse.

So I don’t think anything should be done with public funds unless it is actually necessary.

Another poster was saying the guidance relative to opting for a caesarean for no reason other than preference has only recently come in….

I don’t know if it will be sustainable long term - in terms of paying for it and in providing the doctors to meet increased demand, carry operations out safely and to not jeopardise medically needed caesareans and emergencies.

While I still can’t fathom putting myself through unnecessary major surgery and don’t understand the mindset of some who wish to, if they want to pay for it privately away they go.

If he's such a nice guy, then there'll be absolutely no problem in explaining to him what a twat he's being.

The only husband who is qualified to insist on any particular form of birth is the consultant obstrician taking care of the mother.

Perhaps he also needs to be informed that whatever plans are made, you get what the hospital decides when it all kicks off.

Yes you can. At any point. And they have to acquiesce to you because you have a right to give birth however you want.

You can even ask for one in the hospital part way through labour. I know someone who got to about 3cm dilated and decided that was enough for her, she was done.

@latetothefisting even if you have spinal issues and can’t have an epidural, if you are on blood thinners etc. If you can’t safely be conscious they will just put you under general.

That was me who couldn’t have a epidural. It was almost a GA. Spinal only and they knew about it when time started running out, anaesthetist was pretty much ringing the klaxon.