For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

@Changeusernameseeusernamehistory not tricky at all. Just have to tell the midwife that's what you want and she/he has to refer you to the consultant.

@Lelophants

Are you from a science background or do you have medical qualifications??

The theory is that it may contribute to the development of autism. Theories already outlined.

Not laughable. And believe me a difficult birth is preferable to having to be a full time carer. Many have to do so until the child is in adulthood.

It is 2-3 decades+ worth of difficulty vs maximum a few days difficulty.

I do wish I had been able to have a VB because it is hard to see my child suffer and know that the caesarean may have contributed.

It’s changed. They’re really good with it now (at least in my hospital).

Anyway this shows us that there are so many different views and experiences. And the woman gets to have the final say!

Yes, as I said, not mutually exclusive.

I almost died during my CS. Needed CPR so maybe I can say I did die for a short while? Yet I’ll have another one if I have another child. 🤷🏻‍♀️

After a horrendous labour surely you’d want the baby out? And to have lovely pain free birth
I was the opposite. Finally couldn’t feel anything and got to just lie there 😂 and not die

Tricky to get an elective if you don’t have any prior risks. They’ll say you have a right to request an elective but the reality is not so considerate of the mother’s wishes

Wait people on here think a c section causes autism? 😂 good grief

Well id rather that than the births I went through.

I agree

Everyone I know who’ve had longterm issues after birth have done after a vaginal birth. I’ve got a little scar and nothing else.

I think most people with bad experience of c sections seem to be talking about EMCS.

I’m so sorry you experienced this. My c section was a dream, honestly so easy and so much better than labour and vaginal. We’re all different.

Unfortunately there’s been massive brainwashing by the NHS going on for years with regards to natural births vs CS and actually their main concern is money.
Id seen enough horror stories (plus been traumatised by watching a vid of birth at school) to know I would always want a CS.
The consultant I met shouldn’t have been working that that day, he is one of the top obstetricians, was head of one of the councils, regularly quoted in the Times etc. He said don’t worry you don’t need to cry or anything I understand why you want one it’s controlled, it’s safer for baby and for mum the risks are largely the same but in a different place I.e. infection and pain. My wife has had 3 CS. Baby was also IUGR.
It was such a relief but as I left one f the nurses said Mr F has been giving out far too many CS today!
I had 2 CS ended up being emergency (even at that point midwife trying to ignore my wishes and agreement by consultant)
Recovered well from both, up and about quickly and absolutely happy with my choice.
2 friends bullied out of their choice to have a CS horrific experience and nearly died.
I listen to all the horror stories in the news coming out of maternity wards lately of babies and mothers dying or being permanently disabled and I know I made the right choice!

Completely up to her!

But for the record, birth is not the most painful thing that's ever happened to me! It's not that bad for everyone.

What does having a low pain threshold have to do with being a mother? Am I missing something? Most of motherhood is not painful - often hard work and sometimes tedious but not painful.

If we're harking back to the archaic "the pain of childbirth prepares women for the sacrifices of motherhood" nonsense, then surely men should be subjected to a set number of hours of electric shock or other torture to prepare them for fatherhood?

Bizarre way to think.

Tbf she’s not misinformed - it is major abdominal surgery and has a number of risks - organ damage, sepsis, to name a couple.
vaginal births also come with risks, of course, they’re not mutually exclusive.

the whole thing is medieval. If men were the ones giving birth we would’ve come up with a way to grow babies in pods and done away with the whole thing.

who appointed you the arbiter of who should or shouldn’t be a mother? And all births have risks. I was fine my whole pregnancy, needed an EMCS because the baby was unwell, I ended up developing cardiomyopathy on the operating table, without any previous signs of cardiac risk. It absolutely stunned the doctors. A friend who had a vaginal birth had grade 4 tears, her baby almost didn’t survive, they had to use the whole caboodle (forceps, ventouse, you name it) to get her baby out, she was in pain and struggled psychologically for over a year.

Someone with birth anxiety or low pain threshold needs support with it, because shit can hit the fan anytime and regardless. They don’t need to be told that they shouldn’t be a mother.

He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way,

He's not. You're mistaken.

My experience of CS was as an emergency after a long labour and 2 hours of pushing. It was the labour and pregnancy that had a greater toll on me for recovery than the CS.

Having come so near, I went for a VBAC because my odds of success were considered high. It was a success, in that baby did come out that way, but it reached the point of action being required by which ever way they could pull baby out. The impact of the forceps and tearing had me sitting on cushions for a month and aggravated my SPD so I could barely walk for months. Many years later, I still have to be careful with my pelvis.

It's a lottery. VB can be great, but there's no guarentees on whether it would be simple or have a heavy recovery with birth injuries. EMCS can be difficult because of the toll of labour and difficultly positioned babies. Other than when there are medically complex causes, ELCS tends to have the most consistent experiences/ recoveries.

Ultimately it is between the woman and her medical team. Fathers are not the patient and there is no parental responsibility until baby is born.

There are specialist MWs that can help with issues like birth anxiety. I found them very supportive and useful in my second pregnancy and while the birth injuries were far from ideal, their preparation did help significantly for much of the labour stage.

That's interesting. A few hours? I was in labour for 72 hours.

All over? Why don't you tell that to the many women who suffer prolapses and multiple other injuries from vaginal birth.

Jesus.

And I’m sure you was running that before aswel! I didn’t generalise just trying to point out to OP that it isn’t just an easy option like it’s been described

Again….. everyone’s different and some handle the recovery better than others

You are generalising badly there and shouldn't be.

I was almost pain free within less than a fortnight of my caesarean. The same could NOT be said of my very traumatic first vaginal delivery, which remained very painful for almost six months.

He's clearly not a perfect partner if he thinks he has any say in how her child is born. That's up to her and the obstetrics team. And circumstances on the day.

He's been watching too much Call the Midwife.