'Clean your own house'

Haven't RTWT but 'look after your own children' is another one.

'Do your own cleaning' and 'look after your own children' are common refrains if anyone complains about their cleaner or nanny/nursery. People can and often do behave badly towards cleaners and nannies/nursery staff, but equally it's not unreasonable to expect a service you're paying for to be performed adequately.

For you there are. For others, they enjoy cleaning and take pride in it or it calms them. Some people feel great satisfaction from taking something dirty to clean. It’s not that uncommon.

Don’t be so snobby and let people be. Just because you aren’t into cleaning doesn’t mean others can’t be. And they aren’t losers if they enjoy it or take pride in it. I couldn’t give a fuck about a lot of things other people take pride in, but I wouldn’t look down on them. We’re all different.

@MasterScyther - a clean house is a basic necessity. To me, this is such a basic thing that it would be like being pleased at brushing my teeth or doing the laundry. You either do it or pay someone else, but pride in doing the hoovering is to me very regressive. There are better things out there.

When I see the cleaners arriving to my neighbours when I am WFH I admit I feel a little bit jealous, but each to their own, good for you if you can afford it.
I can clean my house top to bottom,which is hard work but could never do any sort of plastering or plumbing they are hard skills to learn.
Gardening though, I find much too hard. Even when I was a struggling single parent I paid someone to cut the lawn.

😂

It's those and the dog haters on here for me op. Urg they need to just bore off!

LOVE my cleaner and my puppy! 🫧🧹🧽🧼🧺🐾🐾🐾🐾

I pay someone to cut the grass as I absolutely hate doing it and just don't want to. I clean because I don't mind it and I can do it gradually eg the bathroom one day and the kitchen the next. I don't care if people think it's lazy that I refuse to cut the grass. I'm just not prepared to do it. So if I felt that way about cleaning I would get a cleaner. Lots of my friends have cleaners. I do find it odd when people who work part time have cleaners but it's up to them and I would never comment on it.

Why can’t people feel pride in a clean and well represented house? Of course they can. You don’t get to tell people what gives them a sense of pride. For some people cleaning is therapeutic. It’s perfectly fine if people feel house proud.

The only loser here is you judging other people.

Give over taking pride in a clean house. That is definitely for losers. If I wash my socks I don't feel proud

Half assed*

It's seen as frivolous because it's women's work, unlike plumbing, which is a traditionally male occupation.

Most "people" can clean to a certain standard, but how many men will do it - without being asked, and without being reminded weekly, and without huffing and puffing and making it plain that they resent it, and expecting praise and some sort of quid pro quo for the huge favour they're doing for you, no matter how half asked a job they've done?

Are there really many men out there who take pride in being responsible for taking care of their home, or is that mainly women you're talking about when you say "people"?

There are women out there who have shrugged off all the gender role expectations because they want to come home to a clean house and they don't want to spend their hard earned leisure time picking up after their families.

There are a lot of men out there who only value work if they're paying for it or getting paid for it, but women tend to buy into values such as "house proud", which involve donating our time and energy, which doesn't always increase the respect in which we're held and it limits the amount of time we can spend on ourselves.

I don’t have a cleaner (yet) and guess what? My house is a pigsty 🤣 I think some of the snobbery comes from a time when women were “housewives” and it was part of their domestic responsibility. To not do all your own housework was to say you were crap at your job. But now most women have some kind of paid employment outside of the home, even part time. But a day still only has 24 hours, so how can people be expected to fit more into the same number of hours? By spending more time in the workplace there is a deficit in the number of hours available to be dedicated to domestic labour, which often gets filled by hiring a cleaner. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s just the way it works. Equally this creates more jobs (albeit often low paid jobs….) as cleaners are in higher demand.
I am increasing my hours shortly as DS starts school soon and we’ll definitely be hiring a cleaner as we need it quite frankly. And I’m struggling to even find one as the smaller independent ones are fully booked. I see that as a sign that “do your own cleaning” clearly doesn’t work for many families these days.

You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

I know a woman who got a cleaner as soon as she and her BF moved in together.

She wanted to make the point that she wasn't the default cleaner, and if he valued a clean home (and he did, and so did she), then he either cleaned or he paid 50-50 for it to be cleaned.

Fair play to her, I say.

You'd be surprised how many people can't clean a house. They can start cleaning. They can do a little here or a little there. But the whole house top to bottom, clean, shining, polished - that takes stamina, equipment, organisation, and no interruptions, and a lot of people have none of that.

It also can be a piece of genuine advice! I wanted a cleaner, but also wanted one with insurance and references. So apart from £20/hr rates in my area and very limited availability (like 7.45 am on Tuesdays), there are multiple weird requirements such as "you have to book a 6-hour deep clean first (remember - it is 20 quid an hour!) to bring the house up to my standard and only then I will take on weekly 2 hour appointments". And then there are never-ending sick days and excuses and random people "covering". So yeah, if anyone would ask me about cleaner recommendations, I genuinely would advise to do without. Too much trouble!

I think our lives are very different these days and as there’s more families with both parents working, it makes sense there’s less time for household work including cleaning.

There's absolutely nothing to suggest resentment here, what a jump you've made.

It's seen as frivolous. In general it's not a specialised career like plumbing is in the example you gave. Most people can clean to a good/acceptable level so it's seen as a privilege. People also take a lot of pride in being responsible for taking care of their home.

As it is if I increased my hours at work I absolutely would get a cleaner or outsource laundry. I don't see any issues with it but my own mum would see it as a waste of money. Each to their own. My auntie is the only person I know with a cleaner.

are you not being a tiny bit facetious?

Surely you understand that your circle must be quite unusual. If 'everyone you know' has a cleaner you must have quite a limited social circle. If everyone generally had a cleaner, nobody would BE a cleaner, and therefore everyone COULDN'T have a cleaner. I know very few people with cleaners. I wouldn't care if someone did nor suggest they should do it themselves, (because it's not up to me how someone spends their money) but surely the difference is that pretty much everyone COULD do their cleaning themselves, some people just don't want to?

Also it's a bit insulting to suggest the average person could just do their own plastering or plumbing - they are recognised professions that require a lot of training and specific qualifications and if an amateur just 'had a go' at installing a toilet or refitting a pipe things could go badly wrong. Whereas it's hard to fuck up dusting a skirting rail.

A more accurate equivalent (comparing something pretty much anyone could do but often prefer to outsource) would be 'why do people not say 'just look after your own children' or 'why buy a takeaway just cook yourself,' and, well, people do say those things! So your whole point is a bit moot really.

People query why others outsource tasks they could easily do themselves because they don't see the point. If you do see the point then ignore them.

edited only because I didn't mean to quote the OP in the reply, I hate it when I see it, and know it's unnecessary!

You could say that about most threads on here about any topic.
Do you shower every day?
Do you change your bedding at least once a week..
Do you have your shopping delivered?
I could go on.
What one person does another wont.. we can't all live the same way.. we are not sheep.
Some people like cleaning.. l used to before l became disabled.
Not everyone works so they have time to clean.
I used to do my own DIY too.. from putting up wallpaper to laying tiles and putting flat pack together. ( my Dad taught me,) so l didn't employ a decorator or a joiner etc.. so why should everyone empty a cleaner ??
Get in the real world!!!🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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You must move in wealthy circles if everyone you know has a cleaner, especially with the current cost of living crisis.

There's nothing wrong with it though. People who comment are probably envious.

My husband wants to employ a cleaner, I don’t, I think we should all clean our own mess up, including my DC.

I grew up on a council estate and now find myself with a cleaner, gardener and window cleaner. Even my mum had a cleaner later in life. We are providing employment for people. I treat them very well. Eg my cleaner was paid 70% wages throughout lockdown when she couldn’t come and I made sure that other clients also paid her. You could say that I didn’t retire to spend my days cleaning.