To say no more bringing the dog to our house

Sounds a bit mean tbh. I get you don't want the dog or have any duty towards it but why assume the kids are being manipulated? Maybe they really love and worry about it? It might be one of the few things they feel could be constant in a life where everything changes every fucking day! Does the x have history for being manipulative?

Me too!

Although dogs are people aren’t they? 🤣

Alternatively @Toopytoop why not provide your dog sitting rates and see if she still wants you to look after the dog?

Make sure you charge more than the local doggy day care fees as the 1:1 care you are currently providing is a more premium rate than a group setting!

Indeed. I have a puppy that sleeps from 19:30 after her evening meal, gets up and 21:30 for the toilet, then sleeps through until 06:00 the next day!! If a dog has been fed, toileted and has access to water they are fine. If there is nothing interesting going on, they will sleep.

let sleeping dogs lie ! (Ba-dum-tsschh!!!!)

It’s not her dog. Op didn’t decide to get a dog. The dog belongs to her partner’s Ex. Why on earth do you think OP is being unreasonable here? It would be like one of your neighbours getting a dog, then realising they are out all day and expecting you to look after it without asking you or paying you to do so.

Of course you shouldn't have the dog just because the stepchildren stay over. Particularly, as you are being left alone with the dog for whole days. The dog is the mother's responsibility.

YANBU

If OP had posted about her DH getting a dog without full discussion and agreement between them, there would be outrage.

So why the hell should the OP take responsibility for a dog that she had no choice over the kids getting? Its not her dog, its not her problem. If mum works nights and feels bad about about leaving the dog then either pay a dog sitter or rehome the poor thing. It is NOT the OPs job to do it.

Even if the DH was doing all the work with the dog, she still has to have a dog she doesnt want in her home, she is allowed to say no!

Absolutely stop doing this ASAP
i can’t believe anyone sane would think this dog is in any way your responsibility.

Just say no, the longer you do it for, the harder it is to change. Had a problem with my in laws visiting with a dog, I have cats. Ultimately if someone wants a dog that’s fine but they shouldn’t make it someone else’s problem.

Are you high???
that’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with! Why on earth should the OP look after her ex’s and his new partners dog? Coming from a dog owner that also has kids that go to their dad’s part of the time I wouldn’t even dream of sending one of the dogs with them because it would suit me?
yea it’s not fair on the dog BUT it isn’t OP’s issue

Op - ignore all the people trying to make you feel guily about leaving a dog on it's own overnight. DOGS ARE FINE ON THEIR OWN. It wasn't that long ago that dogs used to slep outside and not in the house. The dog will just go to sleep.

Just make a decision based on what you want, and what feels right for you, no-one else.

Animals are fine for god sake, they used to sleep in kennels outside! It's so weird how much society babies them these days.

ESH.
No you absolutely shouldn't have a dog in your house that you don't want. You're house, your rules. The step mum is TA for trying to push dog on you and for playing the kids to make them want it there. If people visit me with their dog I don't even let it run around in my garden (I'm not picking up their suprises), they get turned around and sent straight away. No argument and no discussion. Its not coming into my house.

You're also TA (though a much smaller one) if you allowed it even once previously though. Because now you are going back on something you have already said yes to the kids about. There's going to be less trust from them in the future because you said yes then no once already. Should have been direct and firm in the NO from the 1st subtle hint.

If dsc mum can’t look after the dog properly she shouldn’t have got it. Simple as that.
Not your responsibility.

This happens in almost every thread. Someone moaning about a word or two that are supposedly American English when they are used in other parts of the UK and always have been. Even words they claim are American like “gotten”, aren’t even used fully through the whole country. Like here, it is based on region.

I will happily share the burden with you (but need to leave some capacity for the Haitch threads too).

I have made it my life's mission @ColleenDonaghy to get my knickers in a twist every time someone says 'gotten' is wrong. I should probably get out more🤣🤣🤣

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I'd missed this post when I glanced through the thread.

Does it ever stop? I guess some people just love to be wrong.

Seriously, give it a fucking rest with the gotten thing. It is used on the whole island of Ireland and in Scotland. Every. Single. Day.

I love dogs so I'd be absolutely delighted if the kids brought their dog with them, but in no way are you obliged to say yes to this if you don't want a dog in your house! It's absolutely not your problem - as you say, if you wanted a dog you would have got a dog yourself. So YANBU at all.

My sister and her husband had two dogs of their own when BIL's ex bought her son a puppy (which he hadn't even asked for) and announced that he would be bringing it with him for the 50% of the time he was with my sister and BIL. My sister ended up agreeing because she knew the dog would be lonely and neglected for half the week if she didn't, but it was far from ideal as it was a very different type of dog from my sister's own dogs and had very different needs

No way on earth is the dog your problem.

I’m trying to get my brain to do the mental gymnastics here. Your husband’s ex has a new dog, which was not part of the family when he was married to her. She gets this dog, doesn’t sort out some kind of doggy daycare, and YOU become the doggy daycare because the kids want it. Hell no.

Agreed.

I actually wouldn't mind if someone brought a rabbit or guinea pig to visit. although they might chew a cable

but I wouldn't have a dog in the house and I am allergic to cats - I will visit houses with cats but wouldn't have one in my house

Well, if the OP was a visitor that would be different.

But if you live with someone, and one person wants a pet and the other doesn't, the one who doesn't wins out (or you leave the relationship if it's THAT much of an issue). Pets, and particularly dogs, involve work and inevitably the person who didn't want one will end up having to do some of that work - and in this case the OP's partner is out of the house all day so even if he wanted a dog, he wouldn't be there to do the work.

And if you are uncomfortable with the animal concerned, it's not fair. The person who wants one can get their fix elsewhere, by volunteering, or visiting friends with the animal they want, etc.

The impact of someone having an animal is far greater than the impact of not having one.

But that's not the issue here anyway.