To think my child is likely to have more opportunities throughout life if I send them to probs to school?

I’m undecided on how much a private school leads to success in securing desirable jobs in competitive industries- it might be because people often employ people who are similar to them.

but there are lots of factors to consider- maybe coming from a wealthy family allowed them to pursue work experience without pay in an expensive city like London? Jobs like being a barrister require money to pay for training / living in London for example.

if it’s a high paying industry, the people in it are more likely to hang out with other wealthy people, so anyone looking for work experience etc has a greater chance if they’re in the same social circle.

my industry has a really high level of privately educated employees but I don’t think comprehensive kids ( like me) are barred. I think that few have the brass neck to apply.

chutzpah is free! but I suppose that’s mindset- and I think private schools are more likely to encourage ambition

If you can afford it OP, do it, there are no guarantees about anything in life but as long as you choose the right school that fits your child temperament, you can’t go wrong. From what I have seen so far, the GOOD state school system in this country is a disguised privilege available to those who can afford the hefty house prices in the nice areas, the rest is a failing system that keeps the division and the inequality that so many of the privileged state school supporters bang on about. It’s a shame that good state schools are not available to all, and I don’t know any other country that sparks more of a heated debate about state vs private, a debate that often circles around wealth/entitlement/connections, but completely ignoring the real problem underneath of years and years of government neglect that have made many state schools simply dangerous to attend, schools that no parent in their right mind would willingly let their children go to, if they have a better alternative. This is the sad reality really.

That’s what we have done. Dd1 has a clutch of 9s at gcse offers from top universities and is happy with nice like minded friends. Not sure what private school would have added. Better sports probably.

Save your money, go on some nice holidays instead

I agree that much depends on parental engagement too.

It also depends on what you regard as success and a successful life. Material wealth, happiness, contentment, a fulfilling job or career?

I think that if you equate paying for a private education with success, you might be disappointed if your child doesn’t achieve the academic success who’d planned, but it still requires parental engagement and support.

An expensive education that doesn’t result in academic success and progress, must be disappointing I’d have thought.

Same we’re state educated RG attending lawyers so we would struggle to justify the massive outlay. Anecdotally there is zero difference in “success” of friends who were educated state or privately - if anything the state educated ones are doing better financially. You look at your finances your child and your local schools and balance it all out. It’s not as binary as pay your money and watch your child succeed.

Well you are being not only unreasonable but also extremely ignorant if you think it will give them broader experiences of life. Sending them to a school that only a small and specific subset of the population can afford to attend will do quite the opposite of that.

However, yes, generally speaking, a private education will give them far more opportunities and connections than a state education will.

It totally depends on your circumstances, as others have said — if you live near an outstanding state school that suits your child’s temperament, there’s little point in going private unless you can comfortably afford it; if your state options are lacking and/or there are other issues at play (eg SEND, bullying) then it would be wise to consider independent options. FWIW my most “successful” friends (not necessarily the happiest/most fulfilled, btw) are a good mix of private/state educated - what they (mostly) have in common are professional/educated/well-connected parents.

@fishonabicycle that really is a very dated and inaccurate view. Other than a few of the very top flight schools, the "old boys network" doesn't really work anymore. What DOES is having a parent or friends' parents who work in professional industries who can give a young person an internship or work experience and as 93% of kids still attend state, that's plenty of white collar parents out there that state kids could access. Just saying "I went to X school" won't open any doors now, without accompanying grades etc and is just a short hand way of slagging off private kids' achievements. My students work incredibly hard for their grades and yes they have advantages of course, but in the end they sit the same papers as everyone else and are on their own.

As for the pp who talked about "shoddy teaching"..again, nope. It's a market out there and parents won't pay 15k+ for unqualified or crap teachers. It's a thing of the past so private schools go all out to keep well qualified and effective staff.

There was an article about this in the Economist recently. It's actually hard to isolate the effect of a private school education, because children who have one tend to also be from wealthy families, with good networks and lots of other advantages as well. The article concluded that the very expensive, top private schools make a difference but it's harder to prove much economic advantage from the cheaper private schools.

I also work in a 'prestigious/ competitive' industry with a good deal of privately educated colleagues, the difference being, I didn't need a private education to get there, and nor will my kids.

Often the reason children with a private education do better,is nothing to do with the school, and everything to do with well connected parents.

It depends on many variables, IMO. If you send them to private, will you be skint? Is there an amazing state school as an option?

My child is in an outstanding state, GCSE predictions 8s and 9s. Friend’s son is in prestigious private and predicting 5s and 6s. She can’t afford holidays or much in terms of enrichment, as every penny went on tutors to get into the school, and now paying for it. I spend no money on school, the enrichment and extracurricular stuff is amazing, and we go in fabulous trips and holidays which give my children a rich overall experience.

So in this example, I feel private is a waste of money. If you can send to private and still have lovely other forms of culture and enrichment, then why not? Does seem a waste though if, like me, your local outstanding secondary is sending a higher amount of kids to Oxbridge and it’s free.

Too variable to answer really. Depends on your child and the state provision where you are.

The vast majority of the population go to state and many do very well professionally/ career wise. Think the connections thing only for top public schools - the ones I know look down on your average normal private school! .

It just depends on your child and your area.
I was the kind of child who (self motivated, reasonably bright, knew what grades i needed to get into medicine and stubborn enough to ensure i got them) would have done well anywhere. I was given option of a private school scholarship and turned it down, and went to a state school which they tried to close at least twice during my time there as it was so bad. And it was bad - I pretty much taught myself the curriculum from textbooks as teachers spent most of time in behaviour control. As a reasonably behaved child i went under the rader and did my own thing which suited me perfectly as prefer to figure things out myself. I came out with 9 A/A* at GCSE and 4 A's at A level and am now a specialist Paediatrician

My brother (also bright but very unmotivated) went to a private school and came out with a mixture of B's and C's and now works in a gym. But he struggled with bullying in state primary and needed the extra push private gave him to even get those grades.

In short, he needed private school for his mental health. I didn't need it at all.

It’s all the tone deaf pious types that get me in these threads who have found a great state school they are pleased with, and love judging those of us who choose private. The rest of us when facing a failing, violent hovel of a state school naturally choose private if we can.

DH and FIL very successful and privately educated. Friends DD is a school teacher nothing wrong with that but she won’t ever earn mega bucks, an acquaintance DS is unemployed and has been for a while.

It is no guarantee.

DH and I met in similar junior positions at work and I had been to a pretty bad comp.

We left the state system as my child was learning nothing and couldn’t cope with the noise levels, violent playground, bullying of anyone who works hard, arbitrary pointless rules, and depressed/overworked staff.

Child is now thriving in the private system. We chose a school where all children depart at age 18 with a high level of physical fitness, the boys as well as the girls are able to dance sing and draw, all children can play 3 team sports, know an instrument, are fluent in 2-3 languages, confident in public speaking, computer coding and basic military skills such as navigation, shooting and first aid. And yes we expect the academic and career outcome to be good but that would have happened anywhere, we aren’t particularly there for that.

If you have a very resilient child who doesn’t need much nurturing, or you live next door to an outstanding state school, then your child may be fine in the state system, but if you have a sensitive or intellectual child I’d advise you to seek out a well-matching private school if you can afford it. Take care though as different private schools aim to shape the children in very different ways (I’d never allow my child to attend Eton or Tonbridge for example).

A lot of envious bitchy types will be along to slag off private education, and gloat about Labour’s petty plans, whatever. Most of those people are total hypocrites who paid a premium to live near an excellent state school and thus bought their school places too. They’ll have zero idea what the bottom levels of state school look like and they know nothing about private education other than what they read in tabloids.

You can also ignore those who tell you that private schools will shut. Applications are higher than ever because the state system has fallen apart and also because of high demand for places from less politically stable regions of the world like Hong Kong. Even some day schools are finding that many of their students now come from overseas to live in a rented flat with a nanny.

At indie school we have found that roughly:

• 1/3 - 1/2 of the children are there because of bad state school experiences (racism, lack of SEN support, crap staff, etc)
• 1/3 of the children come from very wealthy families
• the rest of the children are there on assisted places (teachers’ kids, Ukranian refugees, scholarships/bursaries etc)

I hope you find a fabulous fit for your child.

We are all trying to do the right thing. My eldest child has significant sen and would have been managed out of our local private schools but left state with his GCSE’s, is now working and doing an access to HE course, middle child might have benefited from private but seems ok at state, youngest would probably do ok anywhere.
have invested the money we saved into a property for each of them, which hopefully will give them some freedom to pursue the jobs they want:take some risks/explore other opportunities. But who knows.

On a population level, yes, the outcome of those who went to private school tends to be better, but I think temperament and personality of both children and parents is a better indicator.

I went to a fairly average state school, but my parents were highly engaged and academic success was very highly valued. I did well, went to a RG university and am professionally very successful as an adult.

Would I have done even better at a private school (and benefited from the add-ons, such as social networks, access to elite sporting opportunities etc)? Who knows, and tbh it doesn't really matter, now that I'm in my 40s.

Similarly, I have friends who went to private school who either weren't as academically able or had less engaged parents and have kind of drifted.

I think the key measure of success is parental engagement, followed by natural ability.

Private schools might be able to improve on natural ability to an extent, but without parental engagement, you may as well set fire to fistfuls of £50 notes.

Depends on the private school. Not all of them are equal

This will go well.

On mumsnet it’s widely recognized that the state sector is in, well, an absolute state, except on private school threads where it is lauded as by far the superior option. Any problems present in private school are exclusive to private schools.

Similarly, all children should be supported to achieve their full potential and doing such would be an excellent thing, except when this happens with privately educated children it’s a bad thing and doesn’t count - they’ve dodged the educational hunger games which all children should be entered into.

I went to private school and had an enjoyable experience. I can’t compare it to british state education because I’ve never experienced that. In regards traditional indicators of success, the privately educated out-earn, on average, the state educated by 35% by age 25, being more likely to enter the workforce in a managerial position:

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2019/nov/private-school-pupils-earn-more-state-school-pupils-age-25-ioe-research-reveals#:~:text=Private%20school%20pupils%20earn%2035,401%20among%20state%20school%20pupils.

It funny reading these threads where people are so against privates schools but then there is thread upon thread about how bad the state schools are at the moment, the pressure on the teachers, the lack of funding, the behaviour of the students etc, etc, etc!
My children go to private school, they have nice facilities, they have supplies such as art materials etc, the behaviour in the school is very good. The kids are happy and can learn in a calm environment.

So while it certainly wasn't our intention to "buy grades or prestige or make contacts" we are happy with our choice. My husband and I both went to state school, mine particularly was rough and to be honest sometimes dangerous. Of course it depends upon the individual school but that wasn't what we wanted for our kids.

I think you have to consider what type of private school and the ethos.

There are private schools that have stringent selection criteria and don’t welcome pupils who are of average or lower, ability.

There are private schools that accept all types of pupil, but may not have the teaching rigour you’d hope for.

There are private schools that are unable to meet the needs of SEND pupils and there are those that cater for specific needs.

I think if you send your child to a private school because you feel that it will result in a more prestigious career, then I would feel that it wasn’t the right reason. Small classes, good facilities and a broad range of opportunities would be good reasons. I’m not convinced that’s what you’ll get these days though.