Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

Errrrm not ‘usual’ in my experience. Single people go on friend based holidays, couples tend to use their precious annual leave to spend time together. I have done the odd girls weekend to the theatre and himself had done the odd golfing weekend, stags and hens of course come up but ‘lads holidays’ as the norm? Nah.

He is using the sample data of his friends only, so whilst he is technically correct, the sample is skewed.

If he took a wider sample, he'd probably find the opposite true.

But as humans, we usually extend our own bubble across the entire world. "Everyone does this"

My husband tried to insinuate this in terms of how much he does with the kids and in the house... Quashed that as soon as it left his lips.
Don't use others mediocrity to allow yourself to be less than what should be.

Exactly.

This 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 I will never date a man like this again. They are all overgrown children.

You should be so lucky, who does this charming prince think he is, Kylie Minogue?

That would nake me question his commitment, plus you "being lucky" he wants to go on holiday with you - urgh. I would tread carefully - its not the norm to have lots.of lads holidays in a relationship in my experience, plus if you have kids (don't know if you think that's what you want or not) but is he going to continue on the lads holidays then?

Book yourself somewhere by yourself, gi e him as few details as possible. See how he takes it.

Go on girl 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

I don't date men who go on stag do's or lads holidays, they're not my style. I don't do "laddish culture". Any man who doesn't see women as friends to hang out, share hobbies/common activities/travel doesn't see women as equals. I'm not interested in them.

DH has never been on a lads holiday here and would rather crawl under a rock. He’s a dick for making you think you are lucky he wants to spend time with you and worrying he thinks it’s ok to come round to his mates view of women.

I did when I was 18, then I grew up, so, no.

Been with DH 25 years. He's had one holiday with a friend for a special birthday. I've been on about 2 - 3 breaks a year with friends or girlfriends but always UK. I have had one trio to Paris with 2 mates and USA with a different groups of friends, not DH when I was much younger and we didn't have dc.

I don't really know married/LTR men who go on lots of "lads holidays". It's more normal for female friends because they tend to be more organised but it would be a rare rather than regular occurrence in addition to family holidays.

No one I know thinks friends holidays trump family/partner holidays.

These days I think most men do both.

Normal to have separate trips yes but totally not normal to have them instead of trips with each other.

Now we can't afford either but back in the pre DC days our holidays together took priority and the rest were an added bonus.

Yet another post about a gross, immature and impressionable "man" you should probably not be in a relationship with.

Agree

I don't see the problem with wanting to holiday with friends. But everything in moderation, and with consideration. There are a lot of factors and if you have enough money, time and no responsibilities (aka children) then its not a big deal. The idea of taking 4 holidays a year with your mates but none at all with your partner though, is odd.

22 years married here. DH has never been on a ‘lads’ holiday or stag but when we were younger and living among friends he used to go snowboarding in France or Germany with some of them throughout the season. He goes on his own now but less often.

I have a couple of weeks a year in the city (we live on a farm in the highlands) every year. I wouldn’t want dh following me around Edinburgh or London needing to be entertained the whole time.

In between we have one UK break a year together. Its suits us.

This is an age thing - I used to go on 'girls holidays' then I got married and had DC, got a mortgage = less disposable income.
We now have family holidays.
I go away once a year with friends for 1 night.

I've been away abroad with girlfriends twice in the last 8 years for about 5 days.

I find men who carry on going on 'lads, lads, lads' holidays when they have wife/family are grim & ghastly.

It's only th enorm amongst very immature and fairly unintelligent men.

After this he should be lucky if you even want to go with him. What an idiot.

Cringe that’s the mindset. Double cringe about saying you’re “lucky”. Makes me think of the type of person who says you’re lucky if a man “babysits” his children or does something round the house e.g. washing

Yuk

I'd run for the hills before he starts telling you you're lucky anything else tbh

Wow "you're lucky" 🤮 wanting to spend time with your partner and enjoying their company is the bare minimum of a relationship.

My husband has never been on a lads holiday since being together 11 years he would much much rather holiday with me. What's the point of having a life partner if you'd rather spend your time with your friends? Benefits of sex and housework? How utterly disrespectful.

I'd be concerned your partner is going to be heavily influenced by these friends. I'd be wondering about his behaviour and views when you're out of earshot.

If my dh had said you are ‘lucky’ after an Eastern European five day trip on a stag I would assume he has had his eyes opened to the concept of buying women for sex and even marriage, and is comparing his set up at home compared to what can be purchased elsewhere. It would create alarm bells to me.

He is basically saying I could be travelling all over for peanuts enjoying easy cheap sex with whoever I like candy shop style, and yet I have come back to you….

You need to have a serious chat op. He is lining up more trips.

Your dh is lucky he has a wife he wants to spend holidays with. Sounds like his friends are not in happy relationships. Friends trips are great but not instead of partner/family ones.