Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.

he has turned that around to you ieng lucky - what a twit

Sounds a bit like he's trying to tell you something.

Envourage him to go and change the locks/ move out while he's away

I see that more in BF/GF dynamics. As couples get married is less and less and once kids enter the picture I don’t really see the lads breaks happening (especially as more of the men in the circle have kids)

Maybe remind him he isn't a "lad" anymore and hasn't been for a long time. There might be tears so get a tissue ready to dry his eyes.

We have separate trips, sometimes solo, sometimes with friends. As well as our trips together.
We both like doing things as individuals, gives us lots to talk about!

My husband was due to go on a lads weekend thing in October but we found out that I’m pregnant and due on the date they go so that’s blown his jolly out the window 😂

Actually I was thinking. My DB as far as I know has never been on a lads holiday when he’s been in a relationship! Maybe one camping holiday or away with work with a friend/colleague but his lads holidays he did have were all in his teens or early 20s when he wasn’t in a relationship (and he tended to go from one relationship to the next).

Also men like this (and trust me I know) will be more than likely to cheat and their mates will cover for them (happened to me with the mate covering for him).

And what’s worse is unless their behaviour is nipped in the bud it carries on into their marriage even if they have kids.

Not normal and so patronising saying you are lucky to benefit from his company!

I’ve never been with a guy who goes on lads holidays or who would want to go on a holiday with someone other than me.

In fact I’ve had to encourage them to have friends and do stuff with them.

sounds like it might be an age and culture thing

I’ve never had a boyfriend or partner that went on ‘lads holidays’. I am 50s now and married. I have never had a circle of friends that do things in single sex groups. I have male and female friends.

I love my dh going on a mountain biking weekend as there is no way I would want to go with him as it terrifies me and the fishing trips would bore me.

Similarly he would not want to go to a crafting weekend or ladies Brazilian juijitsu retreat with me and my friends

However, if we had limited budget the priority would be:
Family holiday
Couple holiday
Friend trips

My DH would rather gorge his eyes out than go on a lads holiday. And he can’t stand stag dos either…

I think for your partner's age group it's probably more common than for older people. If the friends are 26-30 then I would imagine some are probably not in long term relationships and others would be having the traditional pre-wedding stag.

My guess would be that in the next few years, this changes quite considerably.

This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.

Honestly? If my partner said this to me, his status would be changing to ex-partner pretty damn quick.

There is no "norm". It will depend on what your friendship group is like and on your personality. Most of our overseas holidays have been with groups. We tend to stick to local places as a couple.

The 'lads' that OP's partner have are the kind of partners/husbands that absolve themselves of all responsibility for childcare/chores at home when there are partners/children in the mix. Immature and deeply unattractive.

Imagine you'd have to be pretty desperate to keep trying to make a 'relationship' with a 'lad' like that work long-term. Better off on your own, tbh.

Not normal at all in my circle! Me and my partner love going on holidays together. We do also do separate holidays/ weekends away with our friends but holidays together more. I love exploring the world with him as does he!

My exDP used to go on one blokes skiing trip a year and go to (weekend) festivals with mates too occasionally. But we didn't share any children.

My exH (we were married young) used to go on stag trips away with his friends but nothing else certainly when we had young children.

Lucky you eh?

For being allowed the company of this wonderful man when he should be going away on his with his buddies.

Tell him to go away with his friends every year and they can also cook his tea, wash his clothes, bear his offspring and service him sexually too.

Get yourself a real man.

PP was right, there's always going to be others who act worse than him and he's always going to be think of himself as good, nah, this man could go so low.

@AllHopeandRainbows

I was just being silly.

The thread seems to be degenerating into a procession of people celebrating coercive control / abusive relationships where their partners know never to leave their sight.

Preach!

I low-key distrust anyone who only socialises with their own gender. If DP or I went on holiday with a group of friends it wouldn't be either "the lads" or "the girls" because both of our social circles are mixed (and in any case these days they overlap massively).

As for the OP's problem, the "you're lucky I go on holiday with you" thing is definitely out of line and I'd be rethinking the relationship. Going on holiday with your partner is one of the best things about being in a relationship and most people I know go away with their partners way more than with friends. That's not entirely intentional - planning and logistics are just much easier when you're only taking one other person, who lives with you, into account - but it has become the norm.

@ThisOldThang I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it? Just giving a possible option as to why he said what he said.

This has led my partner to believe I am “lucky” (his own words) that he would still rather go on holiday with me.

Worrying red flag.
Men who think like this tend to think their behaviour is always fine and that they're a good one, as long as they know other men who behave worse than them.