Very taken aback by partner’s comment on “lads holiday”

Still immature lads then

Been with DH since our teens. Now in our forties. He has never been on a lads holiday but we used to mini break several times a year. Now we generally just have one holiday a year.

A lads or girls holiday would be fun, but my money and annual leave would have my partner set as the priority. A spare few days and money, then maybe

My husband has not been on a lads holiday since we got together. He does nights away, usually because they have a gig to go to that isn’t local. He has done one or two weekend stags but nothing more than two nights (and one of them I was at the hen the same weekend(.

neither of us would want to be away from each other for that long, never mind spending that sort of money on a holiday that the other isn’t enjoying.

Maybe it's normal for single 18-25 year olds but not for people with children. Me and my partner are 33/29 with 1 soon to be 2 kids so it would feel weird if he went away without us. He's been away once last year to see his brother in America (I refused to fly there again with a 2 year old so stopped with family instead) but he came home early as he missed our toddler.

Has anyone considered that the 4year gf might just not like going on vacation or she might also prefer trips with her friends?

i don’t think lads trips are that unusual, my DH and his friends (mid thirties) still do skiing or kayaking or hiking/biking/camping trips for a few days or a week but those with gfs or wifes all go on more vacations or longer ones with their families.

I work in a pub and a lot of men go on golf holidays or lads holidays. My husband used to go before we had kids. My argument is if you can afford to do both then fair enough but if you can only afford one holiday a year and you chose a lads holiday then I’d be a bit annoyed. Women go on girls holidays too though, I know a lot of couples that do separate holidays with their friends but also do couples/family holidays.

The voice of reason.

The OP's partner has said that he prefers going on holidays with her, to lads holidays.

That isn't enough for all the women screaming 'dump him'...

🙄

Well, I'm in my 50's and 7 of us go on a girls holiday every year. My DH goes away with his mates every year. And we also have a family holiday. I love going with the girls, laying at the pool all day, out for a great meal at night. No endless nattering from my Teens, wanting this, that & the other. No moaning about boredom, no grumbling about the choice of restaurant. My DH likes his holiday for the same thing. He has a hard manual job and likes doing nothing for 3 or 4 days.

Mmmmm, at 30yrs he's past lads holidays being the norm. But 26yrs? Probably still on the cusp.

My priority was girls holidays until I was probably 26-27yrs, no matter if I was in a relationship or not.

Probably just laugh it off, he'll figure it out soon enough.

There's quite a big life gap between 26-30yrs old - the most amount of change probably happens for girls between 26-30yrs and for men 30-34yrs.

Obviously this isn't the case for everyone but I'd say it was fairly typical of people who haven't left education until 22yrs.

I think he's just been a bit influenced hanging out with guys slightly younger. It's a phase of life. Everyone moves past it and girls/lads holidays start to naturally fizzle out.

He sounds like an 18 year old... 🙄

My dp doesn't go on lads holidays, just not his thing. He hasn't been away with mates the whole time we have been together (14 years). I do go on trips with friends but not at the expense of family holidays and haven't since we had the kids. I don't think it is the norm to rather go away with friends than your partner/spouse.

Maybe depending on your age. Are you in your early 20s with no kids?, if so then understandable his friends still have this mentality. It is definitely not normal for anyone I know(30s to 40s age) Although me and partner do try and squeeze in a 1 or 2 night break separately with our own friends once a year. Our main focus is our family holiday with kids. When we were pre kids then we had more holidays and did one big one together, a few short breaks together and a few separate with friends together. But we had money and time then. Now we have less of both due to being parents.

Dump him. If your relationship continues is he still going to not want to go on holiday when you're married and with kids? My husband and I couldn't wait to go away with each other when we first went out. He only ever went on one (prebooked before we dated ) holiday with a friend. Seriously, he's a spoilt brat of a child. Wave bye bye.

No no no. I would not stand for this. We do have children though so our family holidays are important but even when we were younger we always went on holiday together. I have a hen do this year in the uk for a couple of nights and it will be the first time in our 10 year marriage I’ve been away by myself.

Never had or will have a problem with my husband going away with his mates, as long as our main family holiday is booked and paid for first. He equally would never stop me going with my friends. It doesn’t happen so much these days to be fair, as we are all knocking on a bit now.

I'm quite surprised by the fairly high number of posters on this thread who are seemingly with their SOs not because they actually enjoy their company, but because of other reasons, I guess sex, children, finances?

I'm not referring to the posters who mix holidays up with family, friends, solo; but to the handful who only go with friends, or describe holidaying with their SO as dull.

I thought we did away with being married to people you don't actually like in the 50s.

My dh goes fishing for 1 week every year in october with his friends.
he's done it for years and years, even before I met him.
Here's the twist - there used to be 6/7 of them. It's dwindled now so there's only the 2 of them.
All of the others prefer to spend holiday money with their families.
the main reason these 2 still go is because it's the only time they get to spend together these days.

11-14 trips a year. How much holiday do they get? 25 days is the norm which doesn't go far on that many trips. Also keen to know what profession he's in, as I'm 50 and would love enough salary to pay for >10 trips a year

My husband has gone on far more holidays with me than his pals. We both go at least once a year with friends though.

Maybe weekend breaks? There are 52 of them you know. So a weekend away once a month and 2 to fortnightly breaks.

DH & I have neighbours who own a business & they're together 24/7. They're very rarely apart socially either. They're one of the happiest couples we know, always smiling. There is absolutely nothing unhealthy about it,at least imo.

Yes, mine too. He does occasionally go on afishing trip with one friend.

Come again?

I love how the word 'healthy' comes up when describing men or women who go on holiday with mates when they're married with or without children. We both work hard & our time off for holidays together is precious. There's no way on earth either of us would choose to spend times off work to holiday with mates but each to their own.