Should I bin my friend's art?

My friend did a painting for me. I didn't particularly like it but got it framed and hung it in my bedroom which she doesn't really go into. When she isn't around I take it down, place it behind my headboard and hang up the picture i do like . If i think there is a possibility she might come around i whip it out. She is a bit sensitive so these are the lengths I go to. To deter any further possibility of more pictures of the same vain I have told her my home decorating vibe is minimalist scandi ( which isn't technically true but is along scandi theme). I have also said that I am getting to a point in my life where I have enough and am looking to get rid of things rather than accumulate more.

If yiur friend is one of those people who feels they still need to give, emphasise how much you would love some plants for your home.

Personally I would not take it to the new house.
If my friend asked where it was, I would say that it didn't make the cut and although I loved that she gave it to me, it wasn't to my taste - good friends should be able to take this kind of feedback, particularly if it's done in a kind way. You loved that she gave it to you but you don't love 'it'
Also gives her a clear signal not to give you her crafty crap again. I wouldn't have the bandwith to keep putting up her painting and then taking it down again

What if the friend calls round unexpectedly and the OP doesn’t have time to do this?

I think I'd have to hide it, and bring it out when she visits. But then I’d worry about her popping in unexpectedly!

But I agree with pps, people shouldn’t inflict their art on friends! Taste is such a personal thing.

For a similar reason I’m glad nobody ever sends me handmade birthday or Christmas cards (except for the Gdcs, of course, that’s different). I’d feel obliged to keep them - just more stuff to find room for.

MIL is an amateur painter and is actually pretty good, has had exhibitions and stuff BUT its just not my style. She painted a huge picture of a photo of something from our Honeymoon which was a nice gesture but I hate it.
Its in DHs office upstairs where it doenst bother me.
I would just say to your friend that its such a shame it just doesnt fit with your new decor if thers nowhere you can hang it where you dont have to look at it

No that's horribly unkind. Just put it in the loft and say you haven't found the right place for it yet. But is there really no spare room it could go in?

this may not work for you, but that would be my “excuse” (well, the truth in my case):

I personally prefer to hang up very little art / decorations etc.

Probably because I grew up surrounded by a lot (or too much imo) of it.

And I have adhd, which probably plays a role as well.

I like / need a calm, open and light room. Not too much visual stimulation.

could you talk about intentionally creating a low stimulus environment and tell her that you therefore would prefer to return the piece (or put it into storage)?

And that she please shouldn’t make you an other one?

That obviously won’t work if you’re set on a maximalist aesthetic…

No. Do not bin it!

honesty (or some version of this) might be best. How about saying that you really want a fresh start in your new home and that it doesn’t suit your design vision?

Ah! Just realised the joke, that the pic wasn't from the OP!!

Isn't that from Friends, something Phoebe had?

I drew a picture and framed it as part of my sister's birthday gifts. It was in relation to her 'proper gift' that I'd bought. I told her it was to make her laugh, throw away and reuse the frame!

One of my DC gifted me a photo canvas. It absolutely does not go with my style of artwork! But I love the photo. I'll put it in the room DC stays in when they come to visit using command strips - then take it down again until next time 😂

If she’s not a professional artist I think it’s fine to dispose of it, I wouldn’t expect friends to hang my crappy efforts on their wall, but different if she’s actually professional but it’s just not to your taste!

I’ve seen Friends but it was 20 odd years ago (and it wasn’t that good, but we only had 4 channels back in the olden times)

Good friends should be honest to tell each other if they received a gift they don't like. I can't tell you the amount of times I said to a friend or a friend has said to me "were you drunk when you bought this for me?". It's said with love but also with a healthy dose of honesty. It's given us friends a good reward over the years -we know what we like and gifts are given for the recipient in mind, not the giver.

I didn't say the OP to tell her friend "she didn't like her picture anyway" I said to tell her friend the picture is not her style to prevent the possibility of her friend giving her another picture as a "house-warming" gift, as the OP appears terrified it'll happen.

She has the chance to make the awful painting disappear and be honest with her friend without hurting her feelings or getting another horrible picture as a gift if she isn't more honest.

@thistimelastweek no it isn't always all about them. Have you ever created/painted something for someone? Cooked a meal for friends? It's good to make people happy. Yes I agree some people are show offs but definitely not all.

Excellent idea 😂
Or make some bad macrame!

😂

Paint her one back. Hopefully she will be so distracted by wondering what to do with the horror you have painted that she will forget about hers, or she will understand the dilema of fitting artwork into a house.

This place worries me sometimes.

Fuck me sideways. No she didn’t. Another poster posted Gladys from Friends.

How do some people manage in real life?!

Apologies, I thought it was her picture. The OP did say when a poster asked "if the artwork was better or worse than the one from Friends", that she believed it was worse. Which is damming enough.

I was going to suggest giving it back saying it didn't fit with the new house, then realised she might paint another and you'd be stuck again.

I'd feign ignorance, I'd she asks where it is in the new house, say oh no, I can't remember unpacking it, those darn movers they also misplaced x and y.

But if this is about boundaries, why include the white like saying it was damaged and then saying “But actually I didn’t like it anyway”? Surely that’s just adding insult to injury? It essentially translates to “The painting you worked hard on got badly damaged, but I couldn’t give a toss because it was terrible anyway”.

OP should either be upfront and say she’s not planning to hang it in the new house for whatever reason (too big, wants a change of style etc.) OR invent damage in the move - not both!

I would just store it in the attic or loft, and if she ever asks you can say you are waiting to find a good spot or some other feeble excuse.

Never throw art away- you never know, someone else might come across it in the attic when you are dead and think it's amazing! One person's rubbish is someone else's treasure and all that...

I’ve made artworks for people (some they commissioned and paid for) - tbh I wouldn’t even notice whether they were up or not. If I did notice then I definitely wouldn’t say anything - if she does ask, she’s a cheeky fucker for making you feel awkward, so don’t feel bad about making her feel awkward too. Just say you’re decorating this house in a different style and putting up some new pics. Ask if she wants it back. If she loves it so much then expect to see it in pride of place at her house next time you visit and if it isn’t then ask why, and act hurt that she hasn’t put it up immediately!