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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I bin my friend's art?

410 replies

Joyjazz · 25/03/2024 20:39

My friend painted me a picture. The sentiment was lovely but I really hate it. It's not my taste and not in keeping with my house. I keep it behind the TV and hang it whenever she comes to visit so I don't hurt her feelings as she is really proud of this piece and spent many weeks making it. I'm moving to a new house and I don't want to be carrying things that I don't like or want to my new home. I want to take the frame and bin the actual painting. She's a good friend and she is likely to visit and possibly ask where the art is.

AIBU to put the painting in the bin?

OP posts:
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7
Original poster
Joyjazz · 26/03/2024 21:33

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 25/03/2024 20:50

Here it is

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Just to say that this Gladys subthread has had me crying with laughter 😂

OP posts:
Katherineryan1986 · 26/03/2024 20:37

StructuredColumn · 26/03/2024 16:30

I have always fancied this on my wall. (For any fellow oldies)

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT THE OP’S PICTURE.

Is that Mrs Mangel from Neighbours?😆

ChedderGorgeous · 26/03/2024 19:13

Perhaps it got damaged in the move ? Clumsy removal company !

ChurchOfSeitan · 26/03/2024 18:56

I have been thinking and I think the OP should sell the painting. She needs to come back here and post a picture of it. I am sure someone would be willing to take it off her hands 😂

LlynTegid · 26/03/2024 17:51

Declare it to be an exhibition, and nominate her for the Turner Prize.

0sm0nthus · 26/03/2024 17:48

paint one for her in return, tell her it took you weeks

Lifeomars · 26/03/2024 17:46

Haydenn · 25/03/2024 20:47

I would tell her you’ve loved having it, but there isn’t space in the new place for it. You love it and know how much effort she put in - would she like it back.

There’s a special place in hell for those who inflict their own shitty arts and crafts on others.

i know someone who does this, they make people in our friendship circle crappy jewellery, unfunny birthday and Christmas cards and worst of all, home made beauty treatments such as bath oil and face cream that always smell slightly "off". I just smile and accept the gifts as they are made with kindness. I don't know what I would do with a big piece of home made art that I really didn't like

slore · 26/03/2024 17:40

I don't understand why adults think that other people want to receive their shitty arts and crafts. It's like they've not grown up from being a 5 year old showing Mummy their precious drawings.

It's an excuse to do something they enjoy for fun, with no thought at all to whether the recipient will actually like the art. They're just expected to be moved, simply because it came from the artiste. Meanwhile, the giver gets to save money on buying an actual gift.

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 26/03/2024 17:13

Is anyone else getting a load of ads for the Yoko Ono exhibition at the Tate Modern now?

OP, if your friend is an elderly Japanese woman in dark glasses, don’t bin that picture just yet…

pinkmushroom5 · 26/03/2024 17:12

Ihearyousingingdownthewire · 26/03/2024 07:37

But….it would be mine?

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Yes but it represents something that your friend has put weeks of their life into, and that they really love.

If you don't want it anymore surely you would give it back rather than chuck it in the bin. It's not the same as a mass produced framed print they've bought from IKEA. They've put their heart into it.

pinkmushroom5 · 26/03/2024 17:10

Alondra · 26/03/2024 08:27

I wouldn't even take a picture, it'll give me nightmares just seeing it on my phone.

The friend could have spent years making it, it's still horrible. Personally I would have been honest when I received it, but as the OP has gone to so much trouble trying to spare her friend's feelings, the move the right time to make it disappear for good. And it needs to disappear because it's a monstrosity, NOT just an amateur painting.

It's beyond horrific.

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OP hasn't posted a picture of the work.

The picture posted was a clip from the TV show 'Friends'.

pinkmushroom5 · 26/03/2024 17:07

TheBerry · 26/03/2024 07:24

I don’t think she should bin it, either. Just hang it somewhere out of the way.

Idk I just can’t imagine my friend putting so much effort into making something for me and then just going “oh sorry not for me”.

But tbf I’m not an artist, so maybe artists do feel differently.

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I genuinely would be fine hearing that it's not for them - I'd rather my work was somewhere that it would be appreciated than 'just hung somewhere out of the way' - and I'd especially rather hear that than it be put in the bin.

Having said that though, I don't gift art to my friends/ family for this very reason! - so I probably have a different personality to OP's friend.

fightingthedogforadonut · 26/03/2024 17:07

@RicePuddingWithCinnamon

Gladys!! 😂

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 26/03/2024 16:48

StructuredColumn · 26/03/2024 16:30

I have always fancied this on my wall. (For any fellow oldies)

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT THE OP’S PICTURE.

Iconic queen.

ACynicalDad · 26/03/2024 16:39

I would say it doesn't suit new place, please have it back or it will go in the loft. I wouldn't chuck it, and I wouldn't separate it from the frame.

MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique · 26/03/2024 16:33

StructuredColumn · 26/03/2024 16:30

I have always fancied this on my wall. (For any fellow oldies)

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT THE OP’S PICTURE.

Looks like her neck has gone through the item that she's named after!

MrMucker · 26/03/2024 16:31

Take a photo of it and print it postcard size. Put into a really nice frame of your taste and display on shelf.
Invite friend round, return original and say it looked great in the old place but somehow it doesn't have the right shape/tone/aspect in the new place.
But look how I fixed that loss by making a mini framed one, it's so lovely, tada!

StructuredColumn · 26/03/2024 16:30

I have always fancied this on my wall. (For any fellow oldies)

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT THE OP’S PICTURE.

Should I bin my friend's art?
Ihearyousingingdownthewire · 26/03/2024 16:29

KimberleyClark · 26/03/2024 10:18

What if the friend calls round unexpectedly and the OP doesn’t have time to do this?

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This is Mumsnet. People don’t answer the door to unexpected (and especially uninvited) callers.

StructuredColumn · 26/03/2024 16:28

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 26/03/2024 15:00

Am allowed back on mumsnet?
I dont want to go to tattlelife. Is netmums still around?

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A name change is your only hope.

stardust777 · 26/03/2024 16:24

OP, if you lied about the picture getting lost/damaged in the move, I'd worry that the friend would spend weeks toiling on another piece of artwork that you won't like. I'd be honest and say that it is a really lovely present but doesn't suit the look you're going for in your new home.

OVienna · 26/03/2024 16:23

I have the opposite problem - a mother who is creative and wants me to be too - thinks I have a 'talent' for art and insisted I make her something one year. I actually did (had time off following a redundancy.) But Fuck.

I can't decide which is more of an imposition - giving someone a large painting with the expectation it will have pride of place or demanding someone's TIME, creativity, aggro as a gift.

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 26/03/2024 16:23

LipikarAP · 26/03/2024 09:10

This place worries me sometimes.

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I now understand why Brexit was voted for 😜

MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique · 26/03/2024 16:02

QueenBitch666 · 26/03/2024 15:42

Is this the one on eBay?!

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Sure is, yours for just £700 - you can even get 24 months to spread your payments!

WingingItSince1973 · 26/03/2024 15:58

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving even if it's not wanted 😂

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