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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I bin my friend's art?

410 replies

Joyjazz · 25/03/2024 20:39

My friend painted me a picture. The sentiment was lovely but I really hate it. It's not my taste and not in keeping with my house. I keep it behind the TV and hang it whenever she comes to visit so I don't hurt her feelings as she is really proud of this piece and spent many weeks making it. I'm moving to a new house and I don't want to be carrying things that I don't like or want to my new home. I want to take the frame and bin the actual painting. She's a good friend and she is likely to visit and possibly ask where the art is.

AIBU to put the painting in the bin?

OP posts:
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7
Northernsouloldies · 25/03/2024 21:28

eggchipsbeans · 25/03/2024 21:05

Think it needs an exorcism...

Hope your friend isn't a mumsnetter!

Took the words right out of my mouth.

CountTo10 · 25/03/2024 21:28

My son, who is a professional illustrator, gifted me a piece of his artwork for Mother's Day which had been in a recent exhibition.

I don't like it and it's really not my taste but I treasure it because it's from him. I have found an unobtrusive place to display it and comfort myself that when he's rich and famous and it's worth millions it won't be too much of a wrench to sell it 😂😂😂

If you care about your friend then you just put it in the spare room or something. Your friend actually painted it for you and surely that's what's important?
.

toomanyy · 25/03/2024 21:27

CaterhamReconstituted · 25/03/2024 20:52

My goodness that is dreadful and a bit creepy. Actually, get rid of it. Loads of things get lost in house moves so just put it down to that.

Show quote history

This made me lol, thank you Brew

BreakfastAtMimis · 25/03/2024 21:25

How weird that your TV suddenly and inexplicably went on fire, but aren't you lucky that the only thing damaged was the painting?

TigerDroveAgain · 25/03/2024 21:14

Gosh, I'd just disappear it to the tip charity shop, not do any of this nonsense about hanging it in my bedroom or shoving it under a coffee table Confused. If asked by arty friend I's say that it didn't really work in the sitting room and leave it at that. It's a gift, yours to do with what you wish, not an albatross round your neck.

CaterhamReconstituted · 25/03/2024 21:08

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/03/2024 20:59

It's a joke...
That's from Friends and they have the same dilemma

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Ah ok. Duh, I fell for it. Never watched Friends!

CatamaranViper · 25/03/2024 21:06

thistimelastweek · 25/03/2024 20:52

People who gift art are selfish. It's all about them. They might pretend otherwise but it's about them.
This is just by way of context.
I can't advise OP. It's her call.

That's a sad take.

I sometimes give my art as gifts for people when I'm really low on money and can't afford to buy them something.

eggchipsbeans · 25/03/2024 21:05

Think it needs an exorcism...

Hope your friend isn't a mumsnetter!

Katherineryan1986 · 25/03/2024 21:03

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 25/03/2024 20:50

Here it is

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😂
I just watched this episode yesterday!

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 25/03/2024 21:00

Surely the fact that your very good friend painted you something should make the painting worth something? There is always a tucked away place you can put it. Stick it in the toilet if need be.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/03/2024 20:59

CaterhamReconstituted · 25/03/2024 20:52

My goodness that is dreadful and a bit creepy. Actually, get rid of it. Loads of things get lost in house moves so just put it down to that.

Show quote history

It's a joke...
That's from Friends and they have the same dilemma

chattyness · 25/03/2024 20:58

The problem with binning it or pretending it was damaged is that it's highly likely that she would paint you a replacement as a housewarming gift and then you're back to square one. i like the idea of hanging in it the bedroom & showing it to her on for her first visit, then she won't expect to see it again. because bedrooms are private. Just make sure your bedroom door is closed every time she visits after that.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/03/2024 20:54

Well this is MN so you should never gift your hard work and only expensive gifts...

Throwing it and keeping the frame is awful though. It's rude. The frame is worth nothing compared to the time, effort and love in the gift itself. Especially as you are justifying it by saying you don't want to take stuff with you and the frame will take up more space than the picture inside!

Could you donate it to a charity shop? Or just continue hanging when she comes round? Or at least keep the painting behind something else in the frame?

OwlCityisthemostunderrated · 25/03/2024 20:54

WimpoleHat · 25/03/2024 20:52

We collect work from a particular artist. I bought a painting of his on eBay last week which he had obviously presented to some close friends as a wedding gift (there was a handwritten inscription on the back). And I thought it was so sad that they’d sold it; I’m sure he’d be upset if he knew. It’s a really personal thing. You don’t have to hang it, but it seems so unfeeling to put it in the bin. Wrap it up and stock it under the bed or whatever.

Ah, but for all you know the people he gave it to might have died, or even just divorced.

TeenLifeMum · 25/03/2024 20:53

I’d put it in my bedroom, then move it to the loft once she’d seen it. If you say it got damaged she might make you another gift!

Mummame2222 · 25/03/2024 20:52

Why would you bin something lovingly made for you? Store it. It’s a shame your friend made it for you, she should have done it for someone who deserves it.

thistimelastweek · 25/03/2024 20:52

People who gift art are selfish. It's all about them. They might pretend otherwise but it's about them.
This is just by way of context.
I can't advise OP. It's her call.

WimpoleHat · 25/03/2024 20:52

We collect work from a particular artist. I bought a painting of his on eBay last week which he had obviously presented to some close friends as a wedding gift (there was a handwritten inscription on the back). And I thought it was so sad that they’d sold it; I’m sure he’d be upset if he knew. It’s a really personal thing. You don’t have to hang it, but it seems so unfeeling to put it in the bin. Wrap it up and stock it under the bed or whatever.

CaterhamReconstituted · 25/03/2024 20:52

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 25/03/2024 20:50

Here it is

Show quote history

My goodness that is dreadful and a bit creepy. Actually, get rid of it. Loads of things get lost in house moves so just put it down to that.

JoleneTookHerMan · 25/03/2024 20:52

Goldenboysmum · 25/03/2024 20:43

Could you hang it in your bedroom the first time she visits, and show her.

Then bin it or whatever, she's not going to expect to see it if she thinks it's in your room.

I'd go with this .

If you lie and tell her it was damaged in removal, you run the risk of her painting you a replacement.

Telling her you gave it to charity or a relative or the bin would unecssarily hurt feelings when she made it for you with good intentions.

Screamingabdabz · 25/03/2024 20:50

God I’d hate this. People shouldn’t gift their amateur hobby projects.

I would ask a kind relative if they can store it in their spare room for a few months. Once you’ve moved and she has got used to not seeing it up bin it.

If she asks where it is, just vaguely say you wanted a change of decor for your new place.

RicePuddingWithCinnamon · 25/03/2024 20:50

WombTangClan · 25/03/2024 20:43

Will need to see a picture to properly advise, I'm afraid

Here it is

Should I bin my friend's art?
CaterhamReconstituted · 25/03/2024 20:47

I think your current tactic is best. Just hang it up when she comes round.

Haydenn · 25/03/2024 20:47

I would tell her you’ve loved having it, but there isn’t space in the new place for it. You love it and know how much effort she put in - would she like it back.

There’s a special place in hell for those who inflict their own shitty arts and crafts on others.

OwlCityisthemostunderrated · 25/03/2024 20:47

You can get rid of the whole thing, but no you can’t reuse the frame. The message that would give us that you value the frame but not her artwork or her efforts, which would be pretty shallow.

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