Not being invited on family holidays

I wonder what's going on here. You say you see your family every other day, and that you have severe depression and have just had a relapse, and that you have no one else in your life. I wonder if they feel they need a break, hence not asking you on holiday? It can be tiring supporting someone with MH issues.

If you're close, could you have a conversation about this? Maybe they are struggling.

Whatever their reason, it sounds upsetting for you, op.

Have you tried joining some mums and toddler groups to make some friends, op? Then you might not depend quite so much on your parents.

I think being your brother being only 7 has much to do with it. Grandparents dote on grandchildren and maybe they feel they want to dote on him. Maybe pla. A trip for just you and your dc.

How horrible of them. Are they always so awful?

That's utterly crap OP and a bit of a weird dynamic given your mum is also a single mother with a small child, I would expect she would understand how this might make you feel. Not least since she's also your mum!

Fwiw I am recently separated with a small child and find myself astonished at the lack of sympathy in these sorts of matters with my parents and siblings. I feel more excluded now than ever. Only thing I can suggest is trying to forge new friendships and finding those people who want you around.

People are so unkind on this thread. If I told my parents I wanted to go away with them, they'd love that. You are not being unreasonable to feel hurt by this OP

I say this kindly, but do you think they dont ask you because they want someone to look after the dog? It's so much cheaper than kennels.

Truthfully, would their dynamic massively change if you were there?

I know you're struggling but you've also mentioned no friends. That isn't really the norm.

I have family members that I couldn't go away with.

Do your DGP live with your DM and DB?

Although it's weird they are inviting your Aunt and Uncle but not you...

The cynic in me says they don't ask you so that you're there for the dog and saving them money by not having to pay someone.

It is really mean to never let you go with them especially when your brother is still a little boy.

Sorry it's so rubbish. Do you have any friends you could have a little break with, who may share the drive with you?

@Newestname002
Agree.

@Scrambledeggplant

So you're close to your immediate family but they're not close to you? If they reciprocated how you feel towards them they'd not exclude you from every family holiday so that you can look after the dog. They'd also think twice before inviting your aunt, uncle and their three children and not invite you. Do your aunt and uncle have a pet they want you to look after too?

I think you need to make your own plans for yourself and your child and stop being so accommodating to people who don't show you the love, consideration and support you deserve. Next time they ask you to dog sit don't hesitate to say "I'm sorry that doesn't work for me". No need to give long explanations why - they can make other arrangements. Stay strong and make your own future. 🌹

Can you afford to cover the full cost of going? That would be accomodation, food, transport and days out?
I wonder if you are not invited because they know you can't really and they can't afford to pay all this for you.?
It's probably cheeper and easier to get accommodation for 4 than 6 . I suspect this is the main reason.

Maybe work on your own confidence including driving further, expanding friendships via work or baby groups etc Book a holiday for just you and your child.

Also do they help you much with your child ? Could it be they need a holiday from this???

I think the fact that they are inviting extended family and their kids mean they see you as just someone to look after their dog…which is a really shitty thing.

OP what’s your day to day relationship like with them? I think you said that you see each other fairly regularly?

I would say to Mum that you really want to come .Say you are lonely and would welcome a break .Maybe offer to put dog in kennels if you can?

They’re excluding you, OP, it’s horrible behaviour.

Please refuse to have their dog. Just tell them it’s too much with a toddler.

This is very harsh. If my daughter was a single parent I would invite her on at least one holiday. They’re lucky she’s looking after their dog for them. If it was me I would charge😐

Why not go on holiday on your own with your child ?

Do you belong to any baby or toddler groups?. It’s a good way to meet other mums and maybe you can then go away with other mums.

Im sorry your family are treating you so poorly. My assumption is that they need you to look after the dog which is why you aren't being invited.

I think you need to stop agreeing to do this and see what they put in place instead.

And then maybe approach them a little while later and ask that you all go on holiday together - where and when can they come away with you? Make you be the driver of the holiday together rather than passively waiting to see if they invite you. You can find options for them and see which one they prefer

do they give you a lot of support otherwise OP?

OP, I think you are being poorly treated, but please do somethings for yourself. You need more people than your family, and although you feel alone, somewhere there will be other young mums also feeling alone. Try and go to toddler groups, library story times, anywhere you can find where people like yourself must be. Remember the things you used to enjoy, and find a way back to those things. Maybe you can share them with your toddler one day, or maybe you'll find friends along the way.
It's really good that you can drive, try and build up your confidence in little steps.
Be very, very kind to yourself. As kind as you'd be to someone else.
Families are weird, but we're stuck with them.
There will be friends out there for you. There will be much better times than these.
I really hope you find them soon.

They don't want you to go as otherwise there would be nobody to feed the dog, I think it's as simple as that.

Yanbu. I love spending time with my dds who are 17 and 19. If they were older and on their own with a toddler that wouldn't change. I'd invite them at least once in a year.

If your family let you down then it might be time to think about establishing a different network of support. Maybe think about what kind of friends you would like. Just don’t be taken advantage of re the dog-sitting…