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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend shouldn't have taken this money?

295 replies

Gracelet · 25/03/2024 08:09

She was at a National Trust type place which had a second hand book section. As she was browsing she found £165 hidden in one of the books. Rather than hand it in she just kept it and looked rather shocked when I said it was theft.

My perspective - the book belonged to the shop and therefore so does the money.

Her perspective - just luck she came across it so decided to keep it/the shop should have checked the books.

Just for extra info, she doesn't struggle with money but does live payday to payday.

OP posts:
LadyAddle · 25/03/2024 12:23

She sounds awful. I'd have put it in the NT donations box.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 25/03/2024 12:18

@wherearemywellingtons

I don't think too many people would say that they would hand it in on here but then not do that in real life. They probably just wouldn't comment.

I would definitely not have taken it. Possibly more the fool me but it wouldn't sit right with me to take it - particularly if she wasn't even prepared to buy the book.

MarkWithaC · 25/03/2024 12:16

To be quite honest, I'd have kept it. I'd probably have bought the book though.
I'd probably end up giving at least that back to the NT over a bit of time, in entry fees and scones.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 25/03/2024 12:15

That was my first question... but she didn't even have the good grace to buy the book! If she's really not struggling financially and she didn't buy the book then I think that's shocking.

If she was in a very difficult place financially then I can see how someone could justify it (Ie I could have just found it in the book when I got home) but if she didn't even by the book then absolutely not!

Willmafrockfit · 25/03/2024 12:11

she sounds very brazen, no shame
i hope she treated you to a cake op

Willmafrockfit · 25/03/2024 12:10

it is not really the NT money though
unless she gave it to them

Ponoka7 · 25/03/2024 12:09

wherearemywellingtons · 25/03/2024 11:09

It's not theft. Someone abandoned money. Someone found it. Legally, that's not theft? That's finding something. Only on Mumsnet are people such liars. I guarentee none of you would hand it in in real life!

It was the property of the NT. Her intention was to deprive the NT of their property. The CPS/NT wouldn't have wanted it to go to court, though. She'd have handed it over during police interview.

I think that I might have split it and kept half, although I can think of better charities to give it to. The other books need to be checked, so I'd have handed over the £60 and kept the finders fee.

user1492757084 · 25/03/2024 12:07

SMILE, you're on candid camera!

Surely the camera in the shop would have captured that rascal friend who is selfish and amoral. She knew it was not her money.

Shan5474 · 25/03/2024 12:06

I don’t believe the shop would have or could have traced the person who donated it. There’s no way of my local charity shop contacting me once I’ve donated something. In that case I think the shop staff’s procedure would have been to either keep it in “lost property” in case it was claimed or hand it into the police. I feel it was a case of finders keepers because it will never get back to the rightful owner. Buying the book was the right thing to do though

Willmafrockfit · 25/03/2024 12:04

i think i would have slammed the book shut and bought it!
maybe,

GingerIsBest · 25/03/2024 12:03

Blimey, I consider myself a pretty moral person but I think I'd have probably kept half and donated the other half back to the charity.

CloudPop · 25/03/2024 11:59

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/03/2024 08:17

Not the point, I know, but I’d suspect that it came from a house being cleared after someone with dementia had died or moved to a care home.

Hiding money in books is common. When there’s dementia you have to check everything that could possibly serve as a container (old shoes, cereal packets, etc.) before chucking.

I agree. There's a strong probability this is what happened

SignoraVolpe · 25/03/2024 11:47

She should have bought the book.
However if she’s struggling I’d sooner she had the money than the NT.

BMW6 · 25/03/2024 11:39

Didn't anyone notice her pulling the money out of the different pages? Must have taken some time to go through all the pages to find the notes?

boonr · 25/03/2024 11:35

Couldn't get wound up over this. I would've handed it in but I know a lot of people who would take it, and I wouldn't begrudge them for it.

You say she has enough money, but if she's living pay check to pay check, then she doesn't actually have a lot of money.

I live payday to payday and could really do with that sort of money.

Meh, leave her to it.

Tagyoureit · 25/03/2024 11:31

Isn't that theft by finding?

Agapornis · 25/03/2024 11:28

The National Trust is not lacking in money and massively underpay their staff. I'd have kept it. They can only track the owner if the book's value had been gift aided.

I would have bought the book - providing it didn't cost £20 or something similarly stupid for a second hand book, knowing what NT shops are like.

wherearemywellingtons · 25/03/2024 11:09

It's not theft. Someone abandoned money. Someone found it. Legally, that's not theft? That's finding something. Only on Mumsnet are people such liars. I guarentee none of you would hand it in in real life!

ExtraOnions · 25/03/2024 10:53

£165 that shouod just about cover the cost of parking, tea & cake, and a souvenir tea-towel from the Gift Shop.

Cottoncandyflavaflav · 25/03/2024 10:53

Of course it is theft. She went into a shop and took £165 pounds. What else could it be?

ButterflyKu · 25/03/2024 10:50

I would have took the cash and at least bought the book too

AvocadoSurprise · 25/03/2024 10:49

The legal definition of theft, which would be used by the police/in court is:

Dishonest
Appropriation of
Property
Belonging to Another
With the Intention to Permanently Deprive the Other of it.

I would say all those elements (points to prove) are there & your friend has stolen the money. It's a pretty low thing to do in any circumstances, but particularly considering the National Trust is a charity.

HulaChick · 25/03/2024 10:49

If she hadn't wanted to give it to the NT, she could have taken it and donated it to another charity she felt was mire deserving. Just because she found it, it doesn't make it hers.

SendmetoWales · 25/03/2024 10:48

I think it says a lot about her and her morals.