Different perceptions of autistic adults and those with adhd?

@PersonalityofaVacuum are those with ADHD inherently judgemental and prejudice?

Another disclaimer-again I am sure the OP and plenty of others with ASD are not like what I describe. But for so many of us to have had experiences like that, I can (sadly!) see why ASD may be judged more unfavourably by a lot of people.

@Porcuine20 I agree with that. The sociability aspcet is the main one in my experience (and I must emphasise I am aware it is JUST my experience)!

I have a business partner with ASD. He comes across very harsh in emails for one example, has upset quite a few friends and colleagues. It doesn't upset me, as I just know what he is like but I can 100% see why it could. He addresses me in emails in a sense that was my boss to do it, she'd be taken for disciplinary. But he doesn't know he's doing it and doesn't mean to.

He cannot socialise unless he's drunk (I mean, I go out for a few drinks with him sometimes and he will actually get drunk BEFORE we go out, meaning by the time I am nicely tipsy he's absolutely sozzled) which has resulted in a lot of 'babysitting' on my part which I have sometimes been resentful over as I can't enjoy my night for looking after him. I avoid it now and go out with people who can drink sensibly! He was like this at a significant birthday of mine and really annoyed a lot of people and completely took any attention off me as people were having to hold him up, avoid putting drinks near them in case he knocked them over, he even fell asleep in the middle of an act I'd booked. can you tell I'm still bitter about that one.

His partner is often upset as he doesn't know how to make her feel loved or appreciated.

I dated someone with ASD quite recently. She came across as very selfish, although I am not saying it had intent. It was an obvious (albeit not visible) disability. No idea how to talk to people, what was seen as rude, that it was selfish to not call me when I was waiting for it, that it isn't okay to do XYZ to your partner. No idea.

I have a neighbour who has ASD, he was my lodger for a while and I had to ask him to leave. Has never had a partner, lived at home until he was in his early thirties, doesn't go out anywhere or do anything just lives a very simple life. Harmless perhaps you'd say but he is also sexist and extremely judgmental, and was an absolute nightmare to live with for various reasons.

I am not saying that allistic people can't be rude, odd or unsociable of course. I am saying that the difference between ADHD and ASD is down to social interaction at least a lot of the time. I am currently in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD and know several people with it. Their 'issues' if you will do not seem to affect others in the same way ASD can be hurtful and upsetting to others. There is a reason there's a thread on here for 'married to someone with ASD' and not one for 'married to someone with ADHD'.

Great in theory, but it's not going to help me remember where I left my passport, my keys, what I went into the kitchen for, what was said to me 5 minutes ago. It's not going to clear the twenty half formed thoughts buzzing through my head.

My point though was that people arbitrarily reassigning a disorder as a defect 🙄or a condition or a social construct, when they don't know what any of those things actually mean in context is a not great.

I'll go back to my STEM where meanings are generally pretty clear cut! 😋

@Daftasabroom they are classified as disorders only based on the assumption that neurotypical is the correct way to be. Medical diagnoses are arbitrary, based on the views of the time and evolve. ND conditions give a competitive advantage in some conditions, just like different skin tones are an advantage depending on the climate. The human race evolved through differences and mutations, it’s time to stop pathologising and start taking on bird the social model of disability

Thanks! Never came across it.

I only heard about it within the last few months, it's to do with writing and drawing.

What's dysgraphia? Never heard of that. Interesting to know they're all grouped together.

Dyslexia is absolutely in the same space, particularly ADHD. There's also dyscalcula, dyspraxia, dysgraphia etc and various spiky profiles.

This may have already been covered but ADHD and ASD are both disorders. The terms disorder and condition both have pretty strict medical definitions so it's technically incorrect to use alternatives and muddies the waters more than necessary.

@Ivee

That's really insulting

I'm not 100% sure what your saying/asking (the joy of being autistic) but I'll add my 2 cents worth anyway. I'm not diagnosed BTW, however my teen is & we share almost identical traits, which leads me to believe I have autism (the term wasn't even heard of in my day, you were just "quirky".

My experience as an adult include; never feeling like I fit in. Always different/eccentric/quirky. Always felt I had to work "harder" academically as things didn't come "easily". Always thought my perception/view of things was broken/wrong because I interpreted/saw things differently.

I have toyed with the notion of getting a formal diagnosis but at the end of the day, I don't see how that would change anything. I would still be me. A square peg trying to fit in a round hole.

I've spent most of my life on the outside, watching from the sidelines. Wanting to participate but not knowing how. Wanting to fit in, but never quite finding my niche.

That is what it feels like to me.

The classifications of adhd/ autism/ dyslexia/ dyspraxia etc are all outdated and based on studies of mainly little white boys. Look at the traits they all overlap hugely. They match the general experience of girls and other groups poorly hence why there is less diagnosis. The structural brain differences are similar and there is a huge co-occurrence of adhd and autism and other ND. I think the distinct categories will Be eroded over time and it will be a spectrum of neurodivergence. Which can’t be outgrown as they’re due to different brain structure and functioning (although can I course be misdiagnosed)

I'm AuDHD and it seems to be something more of a banter discussion with my adhd, like haha oh yes you do that! With my autism it's more they are more frustrated with me.

I think it’s totally natural and fine that people perceive a diagnosis of autism differently than a diagnosis of adhd. They’re totally different conditions, so why shouldn’t people have different feelings about them?

I know a people with a diagnosis of one or the other. My observation has been that those with adhd are really fun company when on medication, perhaps a touch more creative / likely to be cheeky than most people, but are utterly exhausting when they’re not on their meds. Based on my observations of people with adhd, I’d be excited if someone with adhd joined my work team as it would seem to mean a lot of creative ideas and energy arriving.

Autism I feel differently about. I only know four people with autism. Three are children and have all been violent several times to other children. I no longer allow my child to be alone with those children as my child has been injured several times. The adult is not violent, but has zero empathy, and says the rudest things both to me and to his family.

So based on my personal experiences and observations, naturally I have different emotional responses to a diagnosis of adhd than to a diagnosis of autism.

YANBU, an adult with ADHD is often seen as "fun" and "quirky", sometimes in an endearing way.
It is something that can be medicated, and there is a huge market for apps to manage it too.

I have ADHD and ASD.

Yes I find there's more of a wariness from people who find out about the ASD, whereas ADHD is quite readily accepted.

People often have a perception of ASD that doesn't entirely match the reality of it, which is why I think it tends to be treated as a defect.

I think it's the completely opposite. ADHD is a very stigmatised and misunderstood condition. I think people view autism more "positively" if we are comparing the two. Albeit there is lot of misunderstanding around both conditions.

Im autistic. It IS a defect. A disability. Its shit. It’s not a superpower and I’m not neurospicy or neurosparkly or any of the other ridiculous terms the (mostly) self diagnosers harp on about. If I could press a button and get rid of it I absolutely would. It has negatively impacted my life in so many ways. It’s not cool, it’s not trendy. It’s horrible.

I agree that ADHD is seen as socially acceptable and may even be a positive, whereas ASD is seen as a disability.

My family are on each spectrum. None diagnosed as we start in the 1920's up to the 1960's and diagnosis wasn't a thing then.

Without a doubt the ASD parts of my family are seem as less than the ADHD parts.

This is just my own personal ramblings, so ignore if I'm full of sh*t, but I wouldn't have thought of dyslexia as being in the same space as ADHD or Autism. I don't know why exactly, but while I would have grouped the latter two together, I would have seen dyslexia as something totally different.

Michelangelo
Anthony Hopkins
Einstein
Messi (footballer)
Charles Darwin
Bill gates
Tim burton
Elon musk
Jane Austin
Steven Spielberg
Beethoven
Mozart
Bob Dylan
George Orwell
Henry Ford
Alexander bell
Thomas Edison
Van Gogh
Leonardo de Vinci
Alfred Hitchcock

I say "yay" my daughter has autism and that's pretty damn cool gang to be in 😍

Thanks for the clarification. It may be semantics but I think we may just have to disagree. Our NHS psychiatrist actually used the term 'grow out of it" and this was supported by the considerable scientific evidence provided on the course I attended for parents.

Combined with the studies available that report anywhere from 15 - 50% (depending which ones you read) of those diagnosed no longer have symptoms and are considered ' fully recovered' then this extrapolates to large numbers worldwide. Numbers that can't be explained by misdiagnosis ( although certainly there are bound to be some)

It's a very complex area and we are learning more every day. There's increasing research into a preventative approach and also the effects of trauma. A lot of previous thinking is being turned on its head but the possibility of a full recovery/some children growing out if it can only be a positive thing to my mind.

Sorry if I wasn't being clear, what I was trying to say was that young children (under the age of around 7) typically exhibit traits that are associated with ADHD, but they are normal traits for that age.

So they grow out of those traits (inattentiveness etc) but they wouldn't be diagnosed with ADHD at that age, because those traits are normal for that age group, therefore it's not ADHD. Just typical traits/behaviour for that age, which is why doctors wouldn't typically diagnose ADHD at that age.

If those traits are still present after that age, that's not considered usual for that age group and that's when people would tend to go down the diagnosis route.

Obviously I'm sure there would be the odd case who were diagnosed with ADHD and it turned out to be something else (an alternative diagnosis, or perhaps just a later -than-usual development) but I think it's rare.

So I'm trying to say that people don't grow out of ADHD, just traits that present in a similar way to ADHD, but that are exhibited by certain age groups.

The paediatrician explained ADHD to me when my son was diagnosed and it's to do with the rate that neurotransmitters in the brain regenerate (I think!) so it is a physiological thing.