To ask if you’re mumsnetty enough to be on mumsnet? 😂

Not in a professional job
one of them pensioners everyone else is paying for
degree is not from an RG uni
dont drive
not fussy about food
not on an eternal diet
no health problems
67 with long hair
67 biker
67 still go to rock gigs
got 3 of them pesky cats everyone seems to hate
not a royalist
no problems with my partner

I hate children, sex, men and exist purely on ready meals, crisps and chocolate (always milk not that dark crap). I never wear make up and have no interest in clothes other than to keep warm and not frighten the neighbours.
Oh and I am fairly poor living on a nhs nurses pension.
But I do toe the line as regards toilet brushes and am recently diagnosed with autism. Does that make me acceptable?

I don't bleach my skirting boards
I don't batch cook
I don't constantly mention my and DH's high pressure corporate role - which I think is mumsnet for 'job'
I don't look down on people who only earn the low end of six figures and create a thread about how hard it is to live on such a pittance
I don't have showers whose brevity can only be measured by an atomic clock
I have carpet in my house, including (horror) in my kitchen
Lots more that I'm way too ashamed to mention.

I used to be but not anymore it is way too Conservative now and probably full on men that are not your regular kind.

• I'm on disability benefits and live in an housing association flat with my DC
• Despite being absolutely covered in tattoos, I'm articulate and highly intelligent
• I don't drive
• I don't drink
• I am divorced, have no DP and have been happily single and celibate
• I have healthy friendships, with zero drama
• I like myself, despite my many flaws
• I hate Boden and White Stuff
• I don't helicopter parent, over-schedule or vet my DC's friendships
• I'm not transphobic
• I cringe every time someone mentions Penis Beaker
• I think MN HQ are robots or male civil servants
• Troll Hunters are heroes
• I think big salads are fucking brilliant
• I love the school run, when my health enables me to do it
• I don't gentle parent, nor am I obsessed with 'punishing' minor infractions
• my twins had Tablets when they were 2
• I don't automatically assume everyone is Autistic or has ADHD
• I have nothing negative to say about the NHS
• I think teachers are great
• I can't wait for my children to grow up, although I love them dearly
• I have never had a negative experience with a Bully XL
• I like children
• Big salads are brilliant
• Most of this is tangential
• I hate labradorite and cocker spaniels
• I love Jeremy Corbyn

I love friends popping over.

I always answer the door

I happily take parcels in for neighbours and pop them round when I know
that they are home.

I will always ask someone to move their bag if it is on a seat on a train or bus.

I like Aldi candles and all the other dupes (I once got complemented on my lovely JM Pomegranate Noir perfume by a woman who claimed she could recognise it anywhere; it was Aldi pomegranate hand gel I had just used!!!!)

My family gnaw a chicken bare in an instant

I seriously do not wash towels every use. More like every so often.
My kids are state educated and happy and not traumatised by it.

I don’t have a dish washer or a tumble dryer.
No freezer or microwave either. When DD was at school there was a boy in her class who was absolutely incredulous about this.
I do have a coffee grinder and a coffee maker though. Priorities.

Love this.. I clearly missed the thread(s) about a chicken lasting a week 😂😂 as lots of references to that!

Here's my list:

• I'm Irish
• I don't understand the obsession with class/ private education
• Right now I'd be happy if my youngest finishes primary school, never mind getting into prestige secondary's/ college education
• my kids play out on their own all the time
• I only work part time (& only in the last year), and was never fretful of not having a run away fund
• I always answer the door even if not expecting anyone(in fairness it prob rings 15 times a day with the kids friends calling) 🤪
• I love a good wedding
• i drink every weekend & vape
• I curse (& my kids sometimes curse 🙈)

However, I have crazy in laws so maybe I do fit in?? 🧐

Oh oh oh, I forgot!

I have toilet brushes in all our toilets.

I LOVE a hot tub on holiday.

I hate floral dresses and white trainers

I work FT and I bloody love my job

I like all-inclusive holidays.

I'm a Conservative

Need o go on?

OF COURSE. I am so dense. Probably all the e-numbers I ate as a child and MTV I watched.

Thanks for the clarification all!!

Everyone in my house has different dinners. We don’t like the same food. DS will not eat what we eat. He will starve if he’s not given something he likes. I don’t want to eat something I don’t like, so I won’t make my child eat something he doesn’t like.

This thread proves there is no such thing as a mumsnetty mum: it’s a very big tent.

We don’t have a dishwasher or tumble dryer

Us neither! But I don’t know anyone irl who doesn’t have at least one of them, so it’s nice to meet you

Did you not know that if you live in London and are a solicitor on six figures you do perfect poos that never hit the back of the toilet? It's us illiterate UPF eating, theatre avoiding fakes that splat the pan.

@Moneybum some people on here think you should just use tissue to wipe the toilet (not sure how that would work, surely it would get soggy and clump together/tear?) 😂😂

I wondered this too. Also, why can’t we answer the door?

I couldn’t care less if DH has a cheeky wank in the shower or when I’m out. I love a bit of qualiy time with my vibrating friend.

This is making me laugh a lot.

Why aren’t we allowed toilet brushes btw? Seen a couple of references to that... I get they can be germy but are we supposed to do perfect poos?!?! How else do you clean up? My MIL won’t have them and I honestly thought she was odd. Didn’t know it was the “done thing”

The thread I didn’t know I needed! Love it.

I like all inclusive holidays so I expect you all to be horrified

I live in a 2 bed flat with my family and kids don't have their own room each.

I work FT bit dont have a high flying career, and I still find it bloody stressful actually!

I won't go to centre parcs because it is a bit of a rip off.

My ILs are fucking mental, but I don't need to start a thread about it.

I've got no intention of getting married.

My home is never immaculate due to being small (although apparently easier to keep clean and tidy on MN - it isn't)

As you can tell by the above, I couldn't give a shit about poor grammar.

I have two boys and never felt disappointed about it.

Ha about to say the same. Go you all you crazy non conformists 🤣

I’m not a MumsNetMum, I’m a cool mum. 😂