Who's wrong dd or dh?

It is rigid isn’t it? To have to study the menu 2-3 days in advance then plan your other meals that weekend around it. How else would you define it? Good for her that she’s lost weight and embraced healthy eating but it certainly isn’t a flexible diet she’s on. Hence why I’d let her choose the restaurant next time, and I’m sure she’d do a better job than her Dad who sounds useless in this respect! But honestly I would find it a bit annoying if I had a family member or mate on such a rigid diet because I like doing a spontaneous meal out sometimes; just not when it’s a table for 7 for Sunday lunch as at least round here the good places get booked up weeks ahead!

You see all the people determined to excuse your DH's uselessness at booking a simple meal@Autienotnaughtie ? Isn't it a wonder. Didnt take long for someone to suggest you should just do it did it? Good for you for leaving it to him and good for your DD for changing her mindset and looking after her health. You will have noted that posters do not like that either. An increasing amount of posters on this site are so misogynistic it makes my eyes water.

@Autienotnaughtie I totally get you. It was his responsibility and he shirked it, trying to diet shame your daughter in the process as some sort of excuse. I guess when it's something like that I'd just be horrified if the in-laws turned up and we had to traipse from place to place in search of a table!
Is it because he doesn't want to see his parents?
If not then I guess it's just indicative of his massively disorganised and awkward nature.

Your husband is the one being unreasonable by leaving it until the last minute, especially when he knows others would like to know the details sooner rather than later.

Your DH is the 100% unreasonable one.

I'd say DH is being lazy and a little annoying.
At the same time, I can see his frustration with DD's eating habits. It's wonderful that she's losing weight and feeling healthy but it does seem slightly obsessive - having to plan her meal in advance. No matter where you go I'm sure there's a healthy option she'll be able to have, even if she has to ask them to amend or omit something from the menu. I'd feel a little concerned if my DD was stressing about a meal more than 24 hours in advance.

People saying she has ED because she wants to check the menu?!
This is nonsense. OP clearly stared she needed to lose weight and is doing so under a nutritionist.
I have ED and don't need to meal plan.
It's clear the man is being difficult, not the daughter.

How is it being rigid to want to know where you’re eating?!

He replied he shouldn't have to do things on others terms. I said I can't understand why he would deliberately put someone else out just to get his own way. He got annoyed.

You have a controlling dick of a husband. You have always had one but it's been a slow drip, drip, drip so you haven't noticed. He doesn't want to do things when others ask but he is more than happy to potentially screw up things for SIX other people. Open your eyes OP, he's a nasty man. Poor DD.

They’re both being annoying, just opposite ends of the spectrum since DD is being really rigid (how hard would it be to make a sensible choice on the day, really) and DH sounds lazy but is dressing it up as ‘spontaneous’ and will likely cause everyone to have to go to a worse restaurant because tables for 7 aren’t necessarily going to be available somewhere good as such short notice. Next time I would put DD in charge of choosing the restaurant. That way she can easily plan her diet and no one has to rely on DH to make arrangements.

All dd wants is to know where they’re eating, she’s not demanding a particular restaurant or a particular cuisine so she’s not entitled at all. It’s really not much to ask.

The posts attacking this young woman who is taking care of herself after struggling with her weight are vicious and misogynistic.

DD doesn’t need to be ‘attractive’ to her parents. All she wants is to know where they’re eating, she’s not demanding a particular restaurant or a particular cuisine so she’s not entitled at all.

Your post has a whiff of jealousy and misogyny because OP said dd looks and feels great. You need to look into your motivations.

Regardless of whether your DD wants to plan her meal, he should have booked with a couple days notice, just to ensure you get a table at a suitable time. Sundays can be busy for lunch, some places aren't open etc.
If I were you I'd just say a place you know you all like and book it myself. It takes seconds. I would have anxiety not knowing we had a table somewhere. Tell DH to keep his nose out of DDs diet or eating habits. Would he rather she was obese? He's being a bell end.

We book last-minute meals/plans all the time. Sometimes in life, things are last minute, and I don't think he should have to do anything according to her demands. She'll learn you can't control everything in life over time. It does sound a little like an eating disorder. Unfortunately, I've had friends be the same in the past, and they were ED. Xx

No don't do it OP. Youll be left with all the invisible labour and he can carry on being lazy..win for him. His parents..his job

I think DH is BU. As someone said upthread, the dietary planning is a red herring. Regardless of that, DH is a lazy sod who expects everyone to wait for his proclamation of venue, then he turns nasty at a perfectly reasonable question. Ideally I would want to know in advance, even just a few days, to nose at the menu, think about getting there and parking etc and to look forward to it (or not!). I suppose the get together is now somewhat spoiled

Husband is being a dick. Don't understand people saying DD is being precious. She's not asking weeks in advance!

This is harsh next time do it yourself.

DD doesn't need to know the menu that far in advance, I think she is BU.

DD is not being obsessive and when I’m following a diet I like to know where I’m eating so I can look at the menu and plan accordingly. It’s not asking for much for him to book a restaurant 24hrs in advance

I agree with PP that they were both unreasonable. Your DD doesn't need to know a menu days in advance in order to make a healthy choice/ plan exercise around it. One meal won't make or break a diet. It does sound a bit obsessive to me (and I like to know what I'm eating in advance as well).

Your husband is crap for agreeing to book and then just not bothering. If he has said he would, then he should, rather than just disagreeing with it but not letting her know. Also as PP said I'd imagine booking for a group the day before is not going to end up with you being able to eat anywhere nice

I have strict dietary requirements because of my vegetarianism. Sometimes you end up in a duff restaurant and just have to wing it with an odd mix of a side salad and a starter of olives when everyone else is tucking into full blown meaty scrumptiousness. But that’s about personal choices and how life goes sometimes. I’ve even known post surgery diabetics improvise and make swap requests to the wait staff.

Your DH may have taken his sweet time in booking but imo that’s his prerogative. I say your dd is unreasonable because she’s letting her new diet affect her relationships and her social life. She may be losing weight but this entitled obsessive attitude is not healthy or attractive.

I get the impression your DH has firm for not doing stuff like this until the last minute and you used to step in and now you don’t and your children I assume know this and have missed out on stuff. Your DD asked something fairly reasonable 2 days before the event and that was his reaction