Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Night out drama - old boss

243 replies

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 03:08

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well.

My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her.

Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone...

I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 09:52

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:00

Well she hasn't appeared at Breakfast. I heard a few of the others wonder where she was. I didn't say anything, really had to bite my tongue! I think they're assuming she's just hungover. I found out the girl who was in the room on the other side of her didn't come back to the hotel, so she'll be non the wiser as well.

It's been a great trip where everyone has got along. I don't want any trouble so I'll stay quiet! Her poor husband though. And I could have done with an hour or two more sleep!

And I could have done with an hour or two more sleep!

Not a chance, I bet your ear was stuck to the wall like glue! 🤣🤣

theusualwednesday · 24/03/2024 09:51

Also old boss will have a lot to lose and if she is so good at manipulating image she will have a huge incentive to say ‘i can’t believe OP would make up such a base lie, she’s always had it in for me, jealous etc, but I can’t believe she would ruin your hen with this kind of vile gossip’ etc.

She’s not likely to say ‘yes, op is right, thank you for serving justice and sorry for ever being mean to you. Off to the priest for confession then the divorce lawyer tomorrow!’ Is she?

Hoppinggreen · 24/03/2024 09:49

I wouldnt but would take great delight in making sure she knew I knew

Karensgoldleggings · 24/03/2024 09:49

Honestly no good will come of you telling everyone and personally I would think you like drama and steer clear.
You are assuming you know what's going on in her marriage.
They may have split up or have an "arrangement" where he knows but isn't bothered.
The best revenge for nasty types is to do yourself a huge favour and keep away from them.
You telling on her means she is drawing you back in .
Stay in your own lane and live you life free of gossip and drama

dottiedodah · 24/03/2024 09:47

I would say nothing. If she's your old boss then you won't see her again anyway. You have had a nice time .the bride would probably be upset and it would make a lot of bad memories.

fuckssaaaaake · 24/03/2024 09:47

@Nicetobenice67 the poor husband! These people saying don't tell would surely want to know. Makes me feel sick that people do this to others

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

theusualwednesday · 24/03/2024 09:46

Will you ever see her again after the wedding is over?

I think with secrets the first 24 hours is the hardest not to tell someone. Don’t create a lot of drama for the bride, all hell might break loose and it could affect wedding attendance etc.

Hould your wheesht as they say and sure you will always have it in your back pocket if you have to see her again in the future. ‘Oh Don and I are SO happy’ ‘yes I was thinking that when I was in the hotel room next to you on Sarah’s hen’

where did you go in belfast?

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 09:45

The only word of caution OP is that I wouldn't be the person to bring it up on your group. If you really are the only one who knows, it'll be your word against hers, when you've no actual proof and that could get messy here and now for the bride.

If others bring it up,then by all means corroborate their story. But don't give her the opportunity to paint you to the group as a liar,which she absolutely will.

fuckssaaaaake · 24/03/2024 09:45

I would tell. Grim whore

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:43

Changeandagoodrest · 24/03/2024 09:41

I wouldn't. If you think it'll cause drama for the bride I wouldn't. It would be different if you personally knew the husband but you don't do you're just kicking the problem down the road. It's one of those things where your motivation is coming from a bad place, even if the actual actions themselves are virtuous. So I'd avoid. Be the bigger person that she never was.

would You still have this attitude if it was happening to you ? …. Thought not

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:42

Didimum · 24/03/2024 09:38

I would definitely tell people and her husband.

So would I …if ppl were honest they would want to know if it was happening to them …defo not right for this secret to be kept

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:41

Gcsunnyside23 · 24/03/2024 09:28

Id tell a few others more to mention why she didn't make breakfast. She wasn't trying to hide it so how are you to know it's a secret? Maybe start it off with 'i didn't know....was split from her husband ' and go from there. Definitely wouldn't be covering for her

@Gcsunnyside23 She's definitely still with him. She was talking about him yesterday, trying to make out she has the perfect life....just like she did when I worked for her

OP posts:
Changeandagoodrest · 24/03/2024 09:41

I wouldn't. If you think it'll cause drama for the bride I wouldn't. It would be different if you personally knew the husband but you don't do you're just kicking the problem down the road. It's one of those things where your motivation is coming from a bad place, even if the actual actions themselves are virtuous. So I'd avoid. Be the bigger person that she never was.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:41

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/03/2024 09:10

I'd tell everybody. I can't bear cheaters.

Absolutely 💯…her poor husband the minute she left with him I would call that cheating what a bitch

Didimum · 24/03/2024 09:38

I would definitely tell people and her husband.

Gcsunnyside23 · 24/03/2024 09:28

Id tell a few others more to mention why she didn't make breakfast. She wasn't trying to hide it so how are you to know it's a secret? Maybe start it off with 'i didn't know....was split from her husband ' and go from there. Definitely wouldn't be covering for her

Benchfulldog · 24/03/2024 09:28

Karma. Nothing wrong with you saying truthfully that there was a lot of noise from her room last night!

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 09:27

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 24/03/2024 09:18

Raise your bar - if my partner went to another woman's house in the situation you described that's as good as cheating in my book.

Show quote history

She'd probably blame OP for whatever your partner did in this scenario too.

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:25

Catlord · 24/03/2024 09:11

Tell her husband later if you want to but I wouldn't start gossiping if it's been a nice trip. She will probably deny it and you don't want things to end on a sour note for the bride. Plus nobody will want to get involved in a marriage with second hand information so it's unlikely to come to anything constructive

@Catlord that's the thing the bride has seemed really happy and she's a lovely person who deserves no hassle on her weekend. And yea she'll likely deny it

OP posts:
Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

@JustPombear She isn't my friend. If it was my friend I would have tried to intervene. Though we were all having a good time and there was a big group of us. She certainly shagged him, was very loud. The walls were paper thin.

I wish there was no drama for her husband's sake.

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 09:20

its not your business to get involved in other peoples relationships

if you knew them well as a couple maybe talk to her and have a discussion around why she should tell him but you don’t have that relationship

if you want to gossip about what you saw and hear to feel you are getting your own back is one thing to act as the moral police is quite another

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 24/03/2024 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Raise your bar - if my partner went to another woman's house in the situation you described that's as good as cheating in my book.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 24/03/2024 09:16

I would tell him absolutely. Wouldn't matter if she hadn't been a bitch, if my partner cheated I hope someone would have the guts to tell me.

Alaina7 · 24/03/2024 09:13

Oh I’d snitch on her so fast!!!

Admittedly probably not AT the weekend, if it affected other people, but afterwards I’d certainly say something. 😏