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Original poster

Night out drama - old boss

243 replies

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 03:08

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well.

My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her.

Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone...

I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

OP posts:
Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:15

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:11

Don’t twist this the slut brought it on herself he has a bloody right to know would you want to know if you were being cheated on

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It's not twisting it. It's a possibility and a reality for some women. If she would care that much about him finding out the guilt will eat away at her. It's her problem to live with. Not the OP's.

Calamitousness · 24/03/2024 10:14

If she’d been a right bitch to me then. Fuck it. Karma. I’d probably only say it to her though. That should be enough to panic her.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:12

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 10:10

Depends on whether she decides to deny it and accuse the OP of spreading false rumours.

Remember, there appears to be no other witnesses, so the OP's word against hers.

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I would tell him regardless what he does with it is up to him

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:11

Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:08

I doubt you'd be telling her husband for his benefit. Hand on heart can you honestly say that you care about him? More likely you're doing this to cause trouble for someone you don't like. Imagine if he was a violent man behind closed doors and he hurt her because of what you said. Keep out of it.

Don’t twist this the slut brought it on herself he has a bloody right to know would you want to know if you were being cheated on

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 10:10

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:06

The bride wouldn’t know would she and the cheating bitch is the only one who won’t enjoy the day cannot stand a cheater

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Depends on whether she decides to deny it and accuse the OP of spreading false rumours.

Remember, there appears to be no other witnesses, so the OP's word against hers.

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 10:08

Rosestulips · 24/03/2024 10:05

Will you see him at the wedding?

Id slip a note in his wedding favour

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That's the next time I will see him. After that there's no reason to see him or even her again. Again I wouldn't want the drama for the bride.

OP posts:
Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:08

I doubt you'd be telling her husband for his benefit. Hand on heart can you honestly say that you care about him? More likely you're doing this to cause trouble for someone you don't like. Imagine if he was a violent man behind closed doors and he hurt her because of what you said. Keep out of it.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:06

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 09:58

If you want to protect the bride, wouldn't it be better to wait until after the wedding?

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The bride wouldn’t know would she and the cheating bitch is the only one who won’t enjoy the day cannot stand a cheater

Rosestulips · 24/03/2024 10:05

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:55

@PalePurplePumpkin I don't have a way of contacting him directly. I agree its more humiliating for him that others would find out first and its part of my thought process.

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Will you see him at the wedding?

Id slip a note in his wedding favour

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 10:05

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:04

Would you want to know regardless of who the person was that was telling you the truth

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My fault for a confusing layout, but I was quoting the bold text, not making the point myself.

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 10:05

Ponoka7 · 24/03/2024 09:53

So was she too drunk to consent? It wouldn't matter how nasty a person was, I'd have checked on her as she left. Was he drunk? Although it's said in court that if he could perform, then he was sober enough to not take advantage of a drunk woman, which is rape. As said, this could blow up in your face. You don't know if they are in a open marriage.

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@Ponoka7 I was pretty drunk myself, though not as bad as other occasions. There was a lot of us out, I was spending most of my time with others who I'm more friendly with than her. I haven't a clue how drunk he or she was. I saw them chatting in the bar, I didn't know where it was going to go at that point. There was others with her who may have also seen her but didn't say anything this morning. I think some of them left around the same time.

You are right they could be in an open marriage. It's been a long time since I worked with her. And thankfully I don't anymore.

OP posts:
Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:04

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 10:02

Cheating on your husband is not a good look. But neither is revelling in someone else’s drama.

I do love the complete batshit equivalences that you see drawn on here sometimes.

Would you want to know regardless of who the person was that was telling you the truth

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:03

feelingalittlehorse · 24/03/2024 09:59

Let’s be completely honest here, OP. You aren’t actually concerned for her husband. In fact, you've no intention to tell him at all- just spread gossip within the group you are with. You are just feeling smug because you’ve “one upped” on a boss who was previously unpleasant to you. If it was someone else that you vaguely knew, I’m sure this wouldn’t be such the exciting drama.

Cheating on your husband is not a good look. But neither is revelling in someone else’s drama.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Nope you have this twisted it’s about doing the right thing yes she was a bitch of a boss by all accounts so it does absolutely make a little difference that OP feels a certain way but at the end of the day it’s still the right thing to do ..would you want to be told if you were being cheated on ..I think so ..I’ve had it happen and so fucking glad I was told so from experience do it I say

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 10:02

Cheating on your husband is not a good look. But neither is revelling in someone else’s drama.

I do love the complete batshit equivalences that you see drawn on here sometimes.

feelingalittlehorse · 24/03/2024 09:59

Let’s be completely honest here, OP. You aren’t actually concerned for her husband. In fact, you've no intention to tell him at all- just spread gossip within the group you are with. You are just feeling smug because you’ve “one upped” on a boss who was previously unpleasant to you. If it was someone else that you vaguely knew, I’m sure this wouldn’t be such the exciting drama.

Cheating on your husband is not a good look. But neither is revelling in someone else’s drama.

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

QueSyrahSyrah · 24/03/2024 09:58

Not your monkeys, not your circus. She's not a friend so presumably her husband is a passing acquaintance at best. Nothing to do with you.

If she (or he) were a friend of yours then a different situation as you'd likely have to see them both again in future knowing what you know.

The most I'd do is let her know subtly that you heard, and then leave it at that.

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 09:58

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:54

@Hoppinggreen the more I think of it, I think that's the best action. I'll wait till it's just me and her later and say something not in earshot of the others. Then I'm protecting the Bride, there's no trouble and she'll be sweating and worried about it.

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If you want to protect the bride, wouldn't it be better to wait until after the wedding?

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:58

RollOnSpringDays · 24/03/2024 09:57

I would make sure she knows that you know !

💯

RollOnSpringDays · 24/03/2024 09:57

I would make sure she knows that you know !

Hoppinggreen · 24/03/2024 09:56

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:54

@Hoppinggreen the more I think of it, I think that's the best action. I'll wait till it's just me and her later and say something not in earshot of the others. Then I'm protecting the Bride, there's no trouble and she'll be sweating and worried about it.

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I wouldnt be that overt - just a "Good night?" with a smerk

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:55

PalePurplePumpkin · 24/03/2024 09:54

The OP never intended to tell the husband though. Just everyone else, which is probably even more humiliating for him.

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@PalePurplePumpkin I don't have a way of contacting him directly. I agree its more humiliating for him that others would find out first and its part of my thought process.

OP posts:
jolies1 · 24/03/2024 09:54

mrsdineen2 · 24/03/2024 09:45

The only word of caution OP is that I wouldn't be the person to bring it up on your group. If you really are the only one who knows, it'll be your word against hers, when you've no actual proof and that could get messy here and now for the bride.

If others bring it up,then by all means corroborate their story. But don't give her the opportunity to paint you to the group as a liar,which she absolutely will.

Edited

Absolutely - agree with everyone that I would want to know and it’s an awful secret to keep BUT if OP is the only one who knows this has the potential to blow up in her face and have the rotten liar turn it back on her to get out of the mess she’s in.

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:54

Hoppinggreen · 24/03/2024 09:49

I wouldnt but would take great delight in making sure she knew I knew

@Hoppinggreen the more I think of it, I think that's the best action. I'll wait till it's just me and her later and say something not in earshot of the others. Then I'm protecting the Bride, there's no trouble and she'll be sweating and worried about it.

OP posts:
PalePurplePumpkin · 24/03/2024 09:54

fuckssaaaaake · 24/03/2024 09:47

@Nicetobenice67 the poor husband! These people saying don't tell would surely want to know. Makes me feel sick that people do this to others

The OP never intended to tell the husband though. Just everyone else, which is probably even more humiliating for him.

Ponoka7 · 24/03/2024 09:53

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 09:22

@JustPombear She isn't my friend. If it was my friend I would have tried to intervene. Though we were all having a good time and there was a big group of us. She certainly shagged him, was very loud. The walls were paper thin.

I wish there was no drama for her husband's sake.

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So was she too drunk to consent? It wouldn't matter how nasty a person was, I'd have checked on her as she left. Was he drunk? Although it's said in court that if he could perform, then he was sober enough to not take advantage of a drunk woman, which is rape. As said, this could blow up in your face. You don't know if they are in a open marriage.

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