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Original poster

Night out drama - old boss

243 replies

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 03:08

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well.

My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her.

Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone...

I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

OP posts:
Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 11:07

jolies1 · 24/03/2024 11:03

Whether he has the right to know or not telling him at someone else’s wedding is not appropriate and will ruin OP’s relationship with the bride.

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I don’t think it’s appropriate to shag behind your husbands back on a hen do just saying

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 11:06

jolies1 · 24/03/2024 11:03

Whether he has the right to know or not telling him at someone else’s wedding is not appropriate and will ruin OP’s relationship with the bride.

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Not necessarily the bride would probably be horrified after all she will be saying vowels that should mean something unlike the cheater I know who I would back and it doesn’t have to turn into a massive drama done the right way surely you would want to know if it happened to you ?

jolies1 · 24/03/2024 11:03

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:25

Husband will be at the wedding

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Whether he has the right to know or not telling him at someone else’s wedding is not appropriate and will ruin OP’s relationship with the bride.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 11:03

DawnWW · 24/03/2024 10:38

I would definitely try and let the husband know through a trusted friend of theirs. I think it's a moral issue and he should know

💯

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 11:01

NotQuiteNorma · 24/03/2024 10:41

Funny how when it's the man cheating it's all 'ooh yes you should definitely tell, if it was me I'd like to know' but when it's the woman doing the cheating 'No! Keep your mouth shut! It's none of your business!' 😂😂

Exactly..everyone needs to give their head a wobble and ask themselves if it was happening to me would I want it kept quiet or would I want to know …I for 1 would want to know if I was being cheated on it’s not nice

usernother · 24/03/2024 11:00

I would tell other people but I'd let her know that you know. If she was horrible to you she'll then be worried that you're going to spill the beans. Karma.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:59

AzureSheep · 24/03/2024 10:56

The moral thing to do would be to tell the woman you know, and give her time to tell her DH herself. It’s hard if they’re not close friends though because that doesn’t sound like a conversation you can have with her.

The other issue is - if you keep your mouth shut now, can you guarantee you won’t get wasted at the wedding and spill it all then? Because if it comes out at your friends wedding that will be a whole other level of drama, and will likely risk losing you a few friendships.

Moral thing to do is not shag behind your husbands back that’s when the morals left apart from the next moral thing to do is tell the husband would you want to know if you had been cheated on I have been and defo wanted to know just saying

AzureSheep · 24/03/2024 10:56

The moral thing to do would be to tell the woman you know, and give her time to tell her DH herself. It’s hard if they’re not close friends though because that doesn’t sound like a conversation you can have with her.

The other issue is - if you keep your mouth shut now, can you guarantee you won’t get wasted at the wedding and spill it all then? Because if it comes out at your friends wedding that will be a whole other level of drama, and will likely risk losing you a few friendships.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:54

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 10:46

she doesn’t want to gossip with everyone else at all

She says in her opening post, she's 'desperate to tell people'.

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what she said isn’t what she actually means she panicked she just feels awkward as she knows what was going on she had to listen to it all night so again I will say the right thing to do is tell him it is the right thing to do

WhateverMate · 24/03/2024 10:46

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:33

I understand but no she isn’t she is unsure of what to do and wants advice the right thing to do is tell him she doesn’t want to gossip with everyone else at all

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she doesn’t want to gossip with everyone else at all

She says in her opening post, she's 'desperate to tell people'.

NotQuiteNorma · 24/03/2024 10:41

Funny how when it's the man cheating it's all 'ooh yes you should definitely tell, if it was me I'd like to know' but when it's the woman doing the cheating 'No! Keep your mouth shut! It's none of your business!' 😂😂

DawnWW · 24/03/2024 10:38

I would definitely try and let the husband know through a trusted friend of theirs. I think it's a moral issue and he should know

BobbyBiscuits · 24/03/2024 10:37

I'd probably end up telling someone, though not a direct friend of either her or husband. I guess maybe without directly mentioning their name...haha. it would be tempting but you don't really want to be involved. Her husband might be cheating on her, unable to have sex, open marriage, separated, who knows. Best keep it as light gossip with people who don't know either of them.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:36

Karensgoldleggings · 24/03/2024 10:33

Op
You say this woman was awful to you.
The most self protective reaction to this is to dump/ get rid/ walk away from people like this.
They behave badly to control other people.
Don't let her continue to control your behaviour( telling her DH)
Just walk away

So let me get this right if it happened to you you would want the person to walk away 🤔

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:33

MILLYmo0se · 24/03/2024 10:30

No, if my partner cheated I would want someone to approach me directly with the information /proof, but that's not what the OP is proposing is it? She is proposing gossiping about it with a group of people on a hen party (and I completely understand the temptation given she's a wagon OP!).

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I understand but no she isn’t she is unsure of what to do and wants advice the right thing to do is tell him she doesn’t want to gossip with everyone else at all

Karensgoldleggings · 24/03/2024 10:33

Op
You say this woman was awful to you.
The most self protective reaction to this is to dump/ get rid/ walk away from people like this.
They behave badly to control other people.
Don't let her continue to control your behaviour( telling her DH)
Just walk away

MILLYmo0se · 24/03/2024 10:30

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 09:06

All these people saying keep quite would you want someone to stay quiet if it was your partner cheating ummm don’t think so

No, if my partner cheated I would want someone to approach me directly with the information /proof, but that's not what the OP is proposing is it? She is proposing gossiping about it with a group of people on a hen party (and I completely understand the temptation given she's a wagon OP!).

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:29

Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:26

I'm not bothered if you care what I say or not. My initial response was to the OP. She asked for opinions, I gave mine. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you this bitter. Have a lovely day.

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I don’t know why you need to be so spiteful..I wasn’t saying I was right and you were wrong yes you are entitled to your opinion and so am I it’s just different that’s all and don’t call me bitter you have absolutely no idea have a beautiful day

Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:26

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:20

I stick with what I say I have been in an abusive cheating violent relationship so there isn’t anything you can tell me

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I'm not bothered if you care what I say or not. My initial response was to the OP. She asked for opinions, I gave mine. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you this bitter. Have a lovely day.

Original poster
Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 10:25

Changeandagoodrest · 24/03/2024 10:23

She doesn't know the husband, she can't tell him. Which is key.

@Changeandagoodrest Yep there's a couple of the others who I think know him well but I don't really know him.

OP posts:
Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:25

Changeandagoodrest · 24/03/2024 10:23

She doesn't know the husband, she can't tell him. Which is key.

Husband will be at the wedding

Changeandagoodrest · 24/03/2024 10:23

She doesn't know the husband, she can't tell him. Which is key.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:21

LoopyLooooo · 24/03/2024 10:17

@Nicetobenice67 can you not discuss this without resorting to misogynistic name calling like 'dirty bitch' and 'slut'?

Not really it’s close to home for me and don’t just dig me out

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 10:20

Katelynn88 · 24/03/2024 10:15

It's not twisting it. It's a possibility and a reality for some women. If she would care that much about him finding out the guilt will eat away at her. It's her problem to live with. Not the OP's.

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I stick with what I say I have been in an abusive cheating violent relationship so there isn’t anything you can tell me

LoopyLooooo · 24/03/2024 10:17

@Nicetobenice67 can you not discuss this without resorting to misogynistic name calling like 'dirty bitch' and 'slut'?

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