Page 3 | Night out drama - old boss

Geordielass35 · 2024-03-24T03:08:31+00:00

I've been on a hen night in Belfast. It's been a great weekend and people have been so friendly. Been drinking and dancing, went to the Titanic museum as well. My old boss is on the hen night. She was a bitch at times when I worked with her and was very judgemental of others, including me, when I worked for her. Anyway tonight she has clearly cheated on her husband. I saw her leave the bar with a man now I can hear her in the next room and she's not alone... I know people that know both of them. Do I say something or just keep it quiet, since it's none of my business. I'm desperate to tell people and it's wrong what she did, but is it my business to mention it?! I'm torn on it. Reasonable or not reasonable to tell the people close to her husband?

Nanaof1 · 24/03/2024 18:25

RunningAwayToJoinTheCircus · 24/03/2024 03:34

I also think you'd be getting different responses if it was a man playing away rather than a woman.

ITA! The double standards are obvious.

There have been posts on here before with someone knowing another person's DP/DH cheated on a stag outing and it's always, "Tell the OH what he did! She needs to get checked for STDs! He has no respect for the marriage and has probably cheated before! Tell her so she can kick him out!"

But, the woman cheats and it's enhanced "bro code" time.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:25

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:31

It doesn’t matter what I think or you think we don’t know the other person or their circumstances

and we don’t know for sure what happened

would I want a stranger contacting me telling me they think my partner had possibly cheated on me because they saw x,y and z and heard something I think first reaction would be why are you telling me this. I might possibly if I suspected something but then again I might be going through a terrible time and this is the last thing I need to deal with

I have been in this position it’s painfil I wished I had known sooner but I still don’t feel we should go around meddling in business that is not our own and applying our own moral beliefs on to others

She clearly heard them shaggin I couldn’t give I shit if it was a stranger or not as long as I got to know my partner was a cheat and she has openly admitted it now you say you wish you had known sooner when it happened to you …you are making no sense at all ….the man deserves to know a cheat is a cheat

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:17

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:16

So if you were cheated on only close friends and family can tell you if it’s someone else you wouldn’t want to be told because they only know of you WHAT give your head a wobble

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It doesn’t matter who or what ppl deserve to know they are being cheated on I’m talking from experience I’m bloody glad I was told and it wasn’t from a friend or family or someone close to me it matter NOT I got the truth

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:16

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:08

Well he won’t mind knowing either way then will he

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So if you were cheated on only close friends and family can tell you if it’s someone else you wouldn’t want to be told because they only know of you WHAT give your head a wobble

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:13

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 18:12

I'm quoting you because you said the OP was "proposing gossiping about it". Once again, who cares? The woman shouldn't be cheating publicly if she doesn't want people "gossiping" about it.

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Exactly

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 18:12

MILLYmo0se · 24/03/2024 18:01

No idea why you are quoting me, I'm not defending a cheater. I think the husband should know but the question isn't should I tell him, it's should I tell a group of other people and maybe one of them will tell him.

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I'm quoting you because you said the OP was "proposing gossiping about it". Once again, who cares? The woman shouldn't be cheating publicly if she doesn't want people "gossiping" about it.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:08

Noseybookworm · 24/03/2024 17:42

If what happened to me? It's nothing to do with the OP what this old boss does - she could be in an open relationship for all we know.

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Well he won’t mind knowing either way then will he

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:07

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:51

I have not said it’s not wrong to want to know

I have questioned why people feel it’s for them to go around informing of other peoples infidelity when they are not really known to the couple involved

It doesn’t matter he needs to know WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW REGARDLESS???????

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 18:06

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 17:45

Well that's up to you if you'd rather not know. I am eternally grateful to the person who let me know when I was being cheated on. I didn't care about their motivation for telling me. It's not wrong to want to know.

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Thank you 💯 same x

MILLYmo0se · 24/03/2024 18:01

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 16:09

Who gives a shit if it's 'gossiping'. Don't cheat publicly if you don't want to be caught. The people on here breaking their necks to defend a dirty cheater is astonishing.

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No idea why you are quoting me, I'm not defending a cheater. I think the husband should know but the question isn't should I tell him, it's should I tell a group of other people and maybe one of them will tell him.

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 18:00

*I have not said it’s wrong to want to know

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:51

I have not said it’s not wrong to want to know

I have questioned why people feel it’s for them to go around informing of other peoples infidelity when they are not really known to the couple involved

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 17:45

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:36

No I didn’t o replied to my post

but I still stand by I do not think it’s other peoples business (unless close) to get involved in anyway

people are not always loyal that’s life it’s between them not a load of busy bodies correcting the ways of others

Well that's up to you if you'd rather not know. I am eternally grateful to the person who let me know when I was being cheated on. I didn't care about their motivation for telling me. It's not wrong to want to know.

Noseybookworm · 24/03/2024 17:42

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 16:50

Is that the reaction you would give if it happened to you 🤔

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If what happened to me? It's nothing to do with the OP what this old boss does - she could be in an open relationship for all we know.

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:36

No I didn’t o replied to my post

but I still stand by I do not think it’s other peoples business (unless close) to get involved in anyway

people are not always loyal that’s life it’s between them not a load of busy bodies correcting the ways of others

ChangeIing · 24/03/2024 17:36

You must be disappointed that she’s told everyone herself.

You clearly have enough identifying info in your opening post so that this woman or anyone else who was on the hen party would recognise her.

Ohlookwhoitis · 24/03/2024 17:33

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:31

It doesn’t matter what I think or you think we don’t know the other person or their circumstances

and we don’t know for sure what happened

would I want a stranger contacting me telling me they think my partner had possibly cheated on me because they saw x,y and z and heard something I think first reaction would be why are you telling me this. I might possibly if I suspected something but then again I might be going through a terrible time and this is the last thing I need to deal with

I have been in this position it’s painfil I wished I had known sooner but I still don’t feel we should go around meddling in business that is not our own and applying our own moral beliefs on to others

Not possibly cheated, definitely cheated. The woman has admitted it. We do know for sure what happened. Have you not read OPs updates?

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:31

It doesn’t matter what I think or you think we don’t know the other person or their circumstances

and we don’t know for sure what happened

would I want a stranger contacting me telling me they think my partner had possibly cheated on me because they saw x,y and z and heard something I think first reaction would be why are you telling me this. I might possibly if I suspected something but then again I might be going through a terrible time and this is the last thing I need to deal with

I have been in this position it’s painfil I wished I had known sooner but I still don’t feel we should go around meddling in business that is not our own and applying our own moral beliefs on to others

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 17:13

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:01

the point is the op doesn’t know this women and her husband on a personal level

we don’t live in a moral police state where we go around reporting on each other things we have seen and may know maybe you would prefer a society like this most of us wouldn’t

if there were friends she could approach her and say I think you are cheating on ‘husbands name’ I know him and care about him and I do not want to carry your secret

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I’m sticking to what I think is right regardless of what you think …see you didn’t answer the question about would you want people to keep quiet if it was to happen to you ….and yes she does know her personally…but I’m really interested for your answer to if it was you being cheated on

HRTQueen · 24/03/2024 17:01

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 16:38

So if it happened to you you would be ok with people keeping it from you …wow your so understanding

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the point is the op doesn’t know this women and her husband on a personal level

we don’t live in a moral police state where we go around reporting on each other things we have seen and may know maybe you would prefer a society like this most of us wouldn’t

if there were friends she could approach her and say I think you are cheating on ‘husbands name’ I know him and care about him and I do not want to carry your secret

Horticultured · 24/03/2024 16:59

Please keep quiet, the bride doesn't deserve to have her hen do/the memories ruined with the drama.

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 16:54

Mummame2222 · 24/03/2024 16:40

Was just reading your other posts. The Cheater sounds so self centred! What a way to steal the lime light from the bride. What a character.

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Obviously not the first time she has got down and dirty I bet but yes you’re right what a character she sounds lovely …NOT

Nicetobenice67 · 24/03/2024 16:50

Noseybookworm · 24/03/2024 11:08

Why are you desperate to tell people? Mind your own business. What she's doing is nothing to do with you!

Is that the reaction you would give if it happened to you 🤔

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 24/03/2024 16:44

Sometimes just having the knowledge is quite pleasing.

Mummame2222 · 24/03/2024 16:40

Geordielass35 · 24/03/2024 16:35

@Mummame2222 Pleased I didn't say anything and it came out anyway. She caused me a lot of hassle in the early hours of this morning though!

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Was just reading your other posts. The Cheater sounds so self centred! What a way to steal the lime light from the bride. What a character.