Best nonsense advice you have ever received?

“Don’t think about choosing to do what you love, just don’t do what you hate” said to me by someone 12 years ago who was more senior and much further ahead of me in a similar career path, as she was reflecting on the paths she and her friends had taken since university.

I thought it was quite funny at the time but she was deadly serious. I think she meant that however impressive a job might seem, at the end of the day it’s just a job and it’s one that you might do for decades, so if there are aspects about it that bother you now then don’t be fooled into thinking that will become easier to deal with when you get to the top. I’ve got an amazing job now I’ve found that nonsense advice useful to reflect on when I’ve been at many a crossroad professionally. I wish I knew her name to say thank you…!

What other people think of you is none of your business.

It’s easy to spot a fool, they always open their mouths to confirm it.

I have learnt to keep my mouth firmly shut when people are talking rubbish. Correcting people just destroys friendships. It’s incredible hard to keep quiet at times though.

Back in the 1980s, when DH and I were still young newly weds, we were planning our first house party. Just a dozen or so friends invited to our tiny terraced house for a pre Christmas get together.

Food was going to be simple and unsophisticated and would include sausage rolls. Anyway, I was in the supermarket staring in to the freezer at all the different possible sizes and varieties available, when a middle aged lady (probably younger than I am now) sidled up and said "is it for a party?"

When I confirmed it was she told me to get the little tiny ones because people can eat them in one bite so they won't make any crumbs.

On a similar note, I have never forgotten the advice of the late food writer Michael Smith, who said when serving wine at a party you should use big glasses but only pour about 125 to 150 ml in to the glass. The size of the glass not only gives the impression of generosity it also guards against spills.

OP- Just to add to the Wuthering Heights theme. I dragged myself miserably through the whole thing - so let me take the hit and bin it. Think of the poor writers who have committed months/years to writing something that will bring you joy and you never get round to reading their work because you’re ploughing through WH.

My favourite - and sooo true!

I still haven't accepted that no matter how many times I try, I just can't get past chapter 5 of Wuthering Heights.

@Penfoldseyebrows Yeah don't feel bad about that. I have read it all. Believe me, there is a reason why most films ever made of it stop well before the end. Never understand why Heathcliff is held up as this great romantic hero.

I agree with the coat thing, in terms of building an unwarranted reputation for 'tremendous style'.

Thinking of Harry Pearce (Spooks)

Say how you feel and ask for what you want no matter how much you worry about the consequences, it’s better to get things out in the open rather then feel resentful afterwards and if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Always wear supportive shoes or slippers and try to avoid having bare feet, plantar fasciitis is a curse I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Instead of rising to the bait during a row or argument or if someone insults you, laugh at the person you are having the conflict with. It’ll annoy them far more and it’s far more dignified and won’t escalate as much. It’s better to walk away and make them feel small than saying words you can’t take back.

Appreciate how you look instead of looking back at when you were younger/thinner/fitter etc… I often wish I was as fat and old as I thought I was previously.

Don’t believe other people’s social media PR. The people posting about their fabulous lives feel they have something to prove, I’d rather talk to my friends on a night out or my partner on a date night then constantly stage things for pictures. The people filming at the concerts would have much more fun enjoying the moment and a memory is as valuable (if not more) then a photograph.

I love this thread.

Three things I find helpful:

Hear hoofbeats think horses not zebras.

Don’t waste time worrying about smoke in the distance when there is a fire right in front of you.

If you keep doing what you’re doing you will keep getting what you’re getting.

🤣🤣🤣

That's a shame. I often regret posting on here because of the criticism I get back, which I take to heart, but I still think it's worth staying - have read some really great posts over the years. Not everyone is out to bring others down. I hope you stay.

When I was terrified as a new mother of doing things wrong. 'you don't have to be the best mother in the world, just good enough'. Took all the pressure off to be perfect, and I am a better mother for it.

Never "lend" anything with the expectation of getting it back. Assume you've given it to them and if they return it, it's a bonus. This rule avoids a lot of hassle and falling out and reminds you to never lend something you'd be upset to lose.

Always choose the blue or green variant in deodorant, never the pink.

Oh no! I was attracted to his bum first.

I've been with him 32 years so far. What have I got coming my way?😩

Trust your first instinct!

It's usually right.

Bullshit baffles brains. Aka, nobody really knows what they’re doing in life, so just waffle like you do know and everyone will assume you do.

One from dad I still don't fully understand 30 years after he died, when ever I was in the wrong place "out the way, let the dog see the rabbit"

@Elvis1956 I always took that to mean 'out of the way, I'll do it'. I think it's basically about giving them space to get into a task.

If you are struggling to make a decision, toss a coin, the way you want the coin to land when it's in the air is the answer to your question.

Love this.

It's not what's said it's how it's said

People won't remember all what you said and did but will remember how you made them feel .