A word of warning to mums

I am four down, two to go...one will be later this year.

Happy tears. Sad that they are moving on but happy that they feel able to.

Yes they do go but if you invested the rest of your life into them, then you did life wrong. And you stand a huge chance of being "that" mother\ in law.....be careful.

Embrace your new life as they are embracing theirs.

What a lovely way to speak about your children.

A lot of British people just have a really weird attitude to peoole choosing to live abroad, like it’s some kind of personal rejection of your family for better weather or something.

If you choose to only go on holiday for one week, or to never revisit anywhere, then that is fine. Good for you.

Not sure why you'd assume everyone is the same though.

I think this subject touches a real sore spot for some people, which is why they need to bitterly attack anyone who chose a different path. I only really ever see it on these threads.

Aww! Mine is young still but you should be very proud of them! They'll get so much life experience. I went abroad at 20 and it did me the world of good. And be proud of yourself too, you've brought up two independent adults 🙂

Well, I’m sure it’s just the same if you go there once for a week, really.

I've lived abroad for a few stints, which I really enjoyed. I've encouraged my DS to do the same, but I know I would miss him so much, but I would definitely visit, my parents never visited me, which I understand for Australia, but western Europe not that hard to get to. I hope he'd eventually settle down near me.

I really understand your point of view. My DS had a great relationship with his grandparents, now deceased, and I'd love to be close to any grandchildren I might have.

Odd. I didn't realise the only way to experience travelling the world is actually permanently residing in that place.

But this is exactly the weird defensive cattiness that is always so fascinating on these threads.

Its almost as though it’s a real shame to limit yourself to whatever patch of earth you were born on, when there’s a whole world out there.

I totally understand, and it's extra hard when they move so far away. Hope you get some special time with them soon. X

A mum of one of DD’s friends was so desperate to keep her at home that she offered her a hefty monetary sum and a brand new car if she didn’t go abroad for uni. Madness - of course she went anyway, is loving life and refused all of these bribes from her overbearing mother, good on her!!

I'm always a little bemused at the over the top enthusing comments about dc moving away on these threads.

I've lived in the same town as my family all of my life. So have all my siblings.

But I reckon between us we must have travelled most of the world, experienced many different cultures and places.

It seems almost as if some NEED to believe that the only way dc can be seen to be independent and well travelled is if they move to a different country, which statistically is far from the norm and like most things is not wholy positive or negative.

You do you, but the implication that someone who wants to stay close to family is neither independent nor well travelled is very odd.

@SloaneStreetVandal

thsnk you got posting that, isn't it beautiful ❤️

also heart breaking.

If my kids are confident enough to spread their wings and fly to all corners of the Earth in young adulthood, I will be so proud of them, so happy for them, and so proud of myself for raising such adventurous kids who suck the marrow out of life.

I love being able to do what I want, when I want and having no ties now.
I parented my daughter completely on my own until she moved out at 18.
I miss her of course, but revel in the freedom.

Don’t most kids do an independence boomerang? When they’re young they think you know everything and want to be with you, then as young adults they bigger off and think you know nothing, Then when they have their own kids they get back in touch, want to be around you and think you know everything again.

My adult children are living independently but want to live in the same area as us - it’s a great blessing

Mums/parents it's all about roots & wings. Always reassure them their roots are with you but also give the confidence to explore, use their wings and see the world ...a great gift. There's always a home with you where their roots are xx

I've always assumed mine will have to go, if they want decent jobs. They're on loan to me; they don't belong to me.

But then, I couldn't wait to leave home, so I've always just taken for granted that mine will too. I was never really cut out for parenthood, tbh. I'm a bit too happy with my own company.

But why not? Despite Brexit, there isn’t a wall around the UK.

I've just the one, she's just turned 14 and I have moments of genuine despair when I think of her being entirely independent and not 'needing' me any more. I want her to see the world, have awesome experiences - but my hope is she'll come back at some point and live next door 😂

I heard this song on a TV program (can't remember what) and it damn near broke me 🥹

For those posters saying that it's inevitable, the DC are adults, etc, don't think this is the point of the thread. Yes, adult DC leave home, but the Op was not expecting them to go abroad to live.

My sister and I did this to my parents…and now my kids are doing to to me. Eldest is a 14 hours plane ride away. Middle planning on following suit as soon as she graduates. The baby (but not a baby) is never leaving. Never!!!

Not sure why some posters are suggesting the op move abroad. Maybe the kids want to spread their wings?

@BlondiesHaveMoreFun , I feel for you. It took me a long, long time to adjust to my boy’s independence; they had been my world.
I’ve been to visit my elder son and his family today who live the furthest from me (1 1/2 hrs). I see both boys and their families really often, next week we’re going on a little break to Euro Disney with our younger son and family. I am absolutely blessed.
We bring our children up so that they can be independent, that’s our job and it sounds like you did yours really well. I appreciate your sadness though that both of yours have flown so far from the nest. At least we have video calling but I know that’s not the same. Could you consider a move abroad too?