Feel guilty about not going to soft play and playgrounds more

What you're doing sounds great.

Where I am, people are rejecting soft play because it's become stupidly expensive.

Unlike many on here apparently, I'm really pro soft play. It lets kids run themselves ragged and stretch themselves physically with quite a low injury risk in a way they can't really in other settings. Personally, I think the right soft plays allow children to stretch their physical boundaries in a fairly safe environment. And they're being active, not mithering me for snacks and it's a great activity for when it's raining. So personally I quite like it for my children and we go once every couple of weeks usually. I think it increases their stamina and physical confidence.

Likewise, playgrounds - they're running, jumping, swinging, climbing and developing their balance, coordination and risk-taking abilities. What's not to like? I mean, it's fairly boring standing around as a parent, but lots of parenting is fairly boring. I must admit I'd never thought of playgrounds as being an "extra" or special trip for kids. We tend to visit one three or four times a week to burn off some energy.

But I wouldn't say your kids are missing out just because you tend not to do these things, as long as you're doing other activities that give them these benefits. On the other hand, these are entirely usual and run-of-the-mill activities to do with kids, just like bike rides, family walks and having friends round.

A not very stealthy stealth boast 😃

Gosh we all feel like bad mothers whatever we do! I feel bad for taking my kids to softplay so much tbh.. what you do sounds better. I just take them to softplay because it burns their energy, and my house doesn't get messy, and I can have a coffee and read my book! Easy road of parenting lol
Going to a nature reserve sounds like proper parenting to me!

@PrincessFionaCharming ha ha agreed.
Not really sure what's the point of this thread? Soft play is shit? Yes it is, who are these people showing off about it? Weird.
My DD is four and I work part time term time only so we do plenty of soft play and play groups, but on the flip side we get outside whenever it's not raining..trips to the woods/beach/zoo etc, playgrounds, swimming, trampolining parks,
aquariums, national trust, library, then days of downtime crafts and baking at home... we also have an allotment she helps with. Some of this is free fun, some is not!
I don't particularly feel like a lazy parent using soft play occasionally, it's a bit like a gym workout crawling round it with her. I don't sit on my phone and chuck her in. Our local one uses a fogging machine so it's prob a lot cleaner than many places. But will I be very glad never to set foot in a soft play again when she's older, fuck yes.

I also hate soft play. A disgusting germ fest full of little bullies, disinterested parents and unhealthy junk food.

also runs for cover

We spend our free time at a few parks, beach walks, library, play dates but only go to the soft play if there is no other option or there’s a birthday party

My 4 year old has literally been to a soft play twice, and one of those was for a birthday party. We probably go to playgrounds 2-3 times a week at least but there are loads near our house including on the way home from preschool. We hike, visit nature sites, castles, that kind of stuff, and also plenty of scooting and biking. Go to the library every week or two, go to whatever free local events are on. I really don't feel that my kid is missing out by not doing soft play. Pretty much his favourite thing in the world is to wander around the power tools section of B&Q, and he just asked me whether we can take his friend to visit a local cave as friend has never been before. Fun stuff doesn't have to cost money.

We only do soft play every couple of months, usually if it's raining all weekend and we've already used swimming as our wet weather activity the day before.

We do end up at a playground at some point most weekend, but that's because lots of the places we go have playgrounds either attached or within a short walk. Eg. If we go for a picnic in the the woods, there's a visitor center & playground by the carpark, likewise for our closest beach and many of the NT sites nearby.

No, I don't think you have to take her to a soft play to meet her needs.

She needs physical exercise, including climbing, running, balancing etc. but that can happen just as easily at the park. Plus there are definite benefits that come from playing outside, so if it was an either/or situation, I'd pick the park over soft play anyway.

If there is a playground near you, I'd probably try to include that on your walks sometimes too. That's probably the easiest way to get the best of both worlds.

Lots of SAHMs trying to justify their existence on this thread.

“we could go to soft play for the afternoon but it’s just too easy!”

If she’s is she not in school? Or nursery if not in England and starts school later? I think it’s fine not to take to soft play and parks all the time, but often kids do love them so I like to take my dd. Play parks are especially nice in spring. If you’re mixing your activities with school/nursery then it’s fine, but otherwise taking to busier places like soft plays and groups would be a good idea to get her used to it.

Lol so what if soft play is an easy way to tire out the kids?? Is that not allowed?

I wouldn’t overthink it. If she’s asking to go, choose a park with a playground for next weeks trip.
Lots of places have woodland type walks plus play equipment too.

I'd go out of doors if it's dry and only resort to a soft play if it rains and is too wet to go out. Outdoors playground only need take 40 mins.

I doubt anyones gonna come on and tell you that going for walks and doing crafts etc is bad parenting op, and I think you know that 🤣 some quite snidey comments on here about people who take their kids to soft play though but maybe that was the idea 🤷

I took my dc to the park/playground every weekend at that age... sometimes twice. Soft play less often but still regularly. As long as your DC has other things to do and isn't bored or in front of screens for long, do what you want. Personally I found my dc would be climbing the walls without a good run around.

You know perfectly well that what you are doing is fine.

No and she (same age as yours) wouldn't like it if we did. I'd say per month we have one or two party / play dates / soft play events, one trip away as a family, a couple of extended family visits and the rest is picnics, walks, beach, or doing Lego and crafts at home. Myself and her dad get out about twice together and more times separately also.

Trust your own judgement. I know if we've been doing too much she will tell me she wants a "relaxing day' at home. I also let her know that sometimes I have to be away from her for work or other engagements.

We are all doing our best and it sounds like your DD has a loving balanced home.

You are doing loads with her already! We only go to the playground every weekend because we are very unimaginative and can't think of anything else😂

Totally ignore my last post, I replied to wrong thread 🫣🫣 time for new glasses

Dry robe alternative
Towelling robe
flip flops for manky floor
Good swimming cap

Take swim suit off, stick towelling rob on, then dry robe and head home for your shower.

Both my children got verrucas at swimming, I hated taking them but I never learnt to swim so I was determined they would

When mine were young we rarely did soft play because it was expensive and we couldn't afford it. Similarly cinema was a treat every so often. We did have Sky though so they had access to plenty of films.
We only did a couple of activities for much the same reasons too expensive and frankly who wants to spend weekend after weekend, evening after evening taking the kids here and there. We did loads of stuff altogether though. Playground, picnics, plenty of free activities we found , including tree planting, a day foraging, museums, heck they even enjoyed brass rubbing once when we looked round a church. Board games, card games, all good times. What kids enjoy the most is your time. Spend time having fun with them. That is what they remember the most. The rest well its all the same. My kids are adults now. None of them really know which soft play they were at when even though it was a rare occurance, supposedly a treat, but they all remember exactly where and when they had their nets at a pond and Mum fell in. It is probably their favourite holiday memory.

I agree with a previous poster that soft play has always seemed to me an easy way to tire your kids with minimum effort. I've never considered going to soft play as aspirational or even remotely positive - other than for helping them build a strong immune system maybe!
Craft activities, walks in the woods and den building are a billion times healthier and better for your child than soft play.
You sound like you are doing a great job.