I've posted a few times about DF but for background, he has never been good with money. Growing up he would spend on cards and mum would bail him out.
He was an abusive man, both physically and mentally to mum, but he is still my dad.
DH and I are trying to buy our first home, it's been a disaster and we have been trying for 2 years but for one reason or another they have fallen through.
Eventually we have found a new build, however there has been delays of around 6 months so far. Being FTB we literally have saved enough for deposit, legal fees and about £2000 just in case.
Whilst the delay was happening DF kindly let us move in with him, we paid rent, bought the food shopping and did all housework including making dads packed lunch for work. Eventually we ended up getting on each others last nerve and as the new build has been delayed even longer so we decided to move Into a short term rental. Because of this we are now down the £2000 just incase money as this was spent on deposite and first months rent.
Went to see DF today and the first thing he said was 'I'm glad your hear, do you remember that money you said you would lend me I really need it'. I said to him that I don't have any space money and he replied saying you said when you move to the new build you could lend me money, I explained I haven't moved to the new build and due to going into the rental have no extra cash. He told me that he was screwed, he has spent money he owes someone else because I said I would lend him some money. I asked him how much he needed and he said £4000 and would pay me back over 3 months. I just can't take the chance if I lent it him, I would no longer have enough for my house deposit which I worked 7 days a week to scrimp together. I told him to ask my sister as she is quite well off, and he said I'm not asking her she will just say no and that he is now f**ked. He then said after all I've done letting you live with me and you can't even lend me money when you just have it sitting in the bank.
I left shortly after and now feel sick with guilt and anxiety. He looked so worried when I left I worry he may do something stupid.
Should I just give him the money and hope the house isn't due completion in the next few months? We won't be penalised if we have to pull out as we are way past our long stop date.