To be fed up with all the threads about high earners feeling poor

I don’t mind paying more tax.

I do object to be excluded from what I think should be universal benefits, like childcare.

I have to earn the best part of £100,000 a year to fund two children in childcare, and the government wants to give me no support to do so (bar 15 hours at age 3).

It’s massively annoying. Yes happy to fund services, but I’d like to be able to use them too.

We aren’t living the high life…!

Ah, so it is specifically those on over £150k who are not allowed to speak. Maybe MN should check on sign up?

I cut my cloth accordingly as well. We do not have any debt and only purchase what we can afford.

However that fact that I moan about not being able to afford a particular lifestyle is completely normal. Many people get a bit fed up or regretful about not being able to buy or do certain things because of economic constraints. I don’t understand what the issue with that is?

It’s great that you never felt the need to moan about your lot. But everyone is different. We don’t all have to sit around in stoic silence.

Personally I’ve never really been one of the “I have a roof over my head and food to eat so I’m grateful and can’t complain” brigade. I mean that’s the bare minimum I’d expect out of life in one of the richest countries in the world, when I’m working all the hours and paying a shed load of tax. I’m not going to apologise for wanting a few luxuries to help soften the drudgery of day to day life.

And I’m glad we pay more tax. It’s annoying but look at the nhs and education? And we still come home to a house and food. Poverty is terrifying.

I think high net tax payers have the right to a moan. They always pay more tax than they will ever use - that they choose to pay it rather than opt for jobs and mechanisms to avoid it (or leave for cheaper tax regimes) is why the UK can afford a welfare state.

Most will be nowhere near the top

I think this applies across the income spectrum. People are just so entitled. Their choices are everything.

Some are aghast at the very concept of little Johnny not playing rugby, cricket, karting, swimming, and taekwondo "he simply can't give one up, that's not an option." And then his sister Jane who equally cannot possibly stop the horse riding and ballet and drama and violin. Verging on cruelty to suggest it. Well fine, but piss off with your "our monthly outgoings are exorbitant" whining. Your child can do one club a week for now and soldier through

Then there was the poster who we all didn't understand because her £2200 benefits weren't covering her costs. But it was again "out of the question" for her to move. Her rent was £1650. But she really liked the house, it was on a "desirable street" (?!!). Yes I'm sure it is. You very clearly can't afford the rent, and consequently the utilities or your food bill. For you and your child. Move you fool.

There are exceptions where life events throw everything into turmoil. But there's so much self entitlement. "What so I can't even have a takeaway then, you think I don't deserve even that?" And being utterly shocked that anyone dare say "no, not if you're £600 behind on your council tax."

Compared to £150k onwards

I am surprised at social work and nursing being classed as low-paid TBH

Social work £32k - £62k
Band 8 nurses range apparently around £43,742 to £114,949 per year (although I would be surprised if there were many at the top end.

I though £50k+ were the people who weren’t allowed to complain?

Or they’re reasonably pissed off at finding themselves struggling to afford the things they were previously comfortably able to, despite the income either being unchanged, or even increasing.

Much like everyone else facing rising costs.

£100k after tax is <£5,000 a month inc pension deductions etc.

Private secondary schools round here are £24-30k a year now.

So they would be spending 50% of their take home pay on private schooling for just one child.

Mental, I agree, but true.

Yes, I think there has been a significant change in expectations.My grandfathers were both military and had what were considered good jobs. They grew up without many of the things we'd expect in a middle class job now. They ate out rarely. Box food was not a thing. Fast food was not something they could have. Holidays were local, my father never went out of the coutry until he was well into adulthood. My mother did a few times, but to stay with an aunt, not a family vacation. They did not have much in the way of extra activities - my father did some sports through school. my mother music lessons from her grandmother. They both had to work at jobs as teens for pocket money. Their families had one can, and did own their own homes but not until their children were close to the teen years.

It's just far and away from the expectations we have now, especially around travel and cheap consumer goods.

So people just shouldn’t be social workers or nurses or cleaners should they? Those jobs shouldn’t exist?

I am from a high income family and the fact things are costing so much makes me feel so lucky and so sad for the majority of the population. No way am I complaining about my three bed house even if it’s a third the size of my parents!

That sums it up perfectly. High earners struggling with finances often don’t understand the difference between needs and wants. Having somewhere to live is a need. Having a specific size house in a leafy posh town is a want.

I appreciate where you are coming from OP.

But in parts of the country people are paying £40-50k a year after tax just to fund childcare for two kids in the local nursery.

As a result, they feel skint.

They should be able to complain about that, it is ridiculous.

I agree it’s so insensitive. If you know you’re in the top 1-4% of earners and are feeling hit hard, you must know that the absolute majority of the country are seriously struggling.

😂 have you ever done a pay take home calculator?!
I mean I'm not on 100k but know that this isn't what goes into their pocket after high tax, NI and pension. Your talking nearly 25k in tax, 5.5k in NI then whatever pension rate is.

Are we also allowed to criticize people’s bad decisions if they are low earners or don’t earn at all?

I don't know. £100k salary I used to think was huge. Its £5.6k monthly take home. If you live in London with two nursery age kids, you can easily spend £4k a month on childcare costs alone. That's £1.6k left for absolutely everything else, which won't go far in that area. So I can see people who have a generally high salary can still feel like they're struggling, depending on lots of other factors like children and where they live and if their partner has left them etc

Childcare isn’t really a choice and it’s high earners struggling with those costs that I see on here getting a load of shitty posts mainly.

I agree that things can be hard for lower earners obviously, I sympathise and feel they should get more help. I can still sympathise with a higher earner paying high childcare costs and having next to nothing left or those on the other end of parenthood trying to help their kids through university for example. It’s possible to sympathise with more than just lower earners.

People’s problems are important to them and they can complain about them on mn if they like. You might think that yours are worse but equally someone could come along and minimize your suffering.

leave people alone- if you don’t empathize with them, just don’t read the thread

I was getting pissed off about this too, but then realised I'm kind of in the same boat. I think the problem is that when you're used to not earning much and generally feel grateful for your lot, and then do something to change your earnings drastically, you then find that earning a lot more doesn't actually make a lot of difference due to tax thresholds and student loans etc.

Obviously earning more is better, but it doesn't make as much difference as you'd expect unless you're suddenly on silly money. So, going from £20k to £30k is a lovely jump, and then up to £40k is even better, but beyond that it can feel like treading water unless (I'm guessing) you hit like £150k. It also doesn't help that earning more usually coincides with taking on the insane expense of childcare... Unless you're born into money and your parents buy you a house, it's a slog to get anywhere near dreams of comfort with a little bit of luxury.

Hard agree on whoever said that things are overall so much better than in, for instance, the 80s, and I think one of the big issues is people watching a lot of TV and gobbling up marketing and living in fantasyland about what they "deserve". People really don't realise how poor they are, how far beyond their means they're living, and how much they'd have to sacrifice if they wanted to reach any long-term goals.

How often did you eat out as a kid? What did your parents consider luxuries? Just compare your life with that of your parents and for most people it reveals a lot.

It's obviously a bit galling to hear people complaining about circumstances that are better than your own, but it's all about individual expectations. And I don't think anyone who does it is indirectly suggesting that those who earn less aren't working as hard. Very, very obviously, wages have only a little to do with effort, and are mostly about your sector.

Yep exactly this. They moan they’re struggling and say they can’t understand where they have gone wrong in life and ask for financial advice, then when people advise them to live in a less posh area, drive a cheaper car, move out of London etc then they moan that “it’s not fair”, they deserve that lifestyle, their kids deserve to be in the catchment area for the best state schools, they deserve to live in a short commute of London, they refuse to see that their life choices have led to their financial situation. Why do they bother asking for advice if they’re not going to listen to it?