Not being invited to best friend’s wedding

However some other friends have said I should cut the friendship as it’s a slap in the face?

The main thing I'm getting from your post is that your friends are toxic! What sort of adults think like this? It's playground politics.

I don’t think @QueenCamilla is being at all unreasonable. That’s exactly the reason we just took two unemployed friends to witness opus signing the register. We both have big immediate families and even an ‘siblings and parents’ wedding would have been way bigger than either of us wanted. So we just did it quietly and didn’t tell anyone for about five years, when it got mentioned by accident, because we’d more or less forgotten who knew.

Wow.

IMO you see her as a best friend but she doesn't see you as hers. I understand some people want small weddings/ ceremonies and if you were truly best friends you would know that about her and this wouldn't be a surprise. the fact that you don't shows that she's either been hiding that side of herself or she simply doesn't want you in her wedding... both scenarios shows that she is not the friend you thought she was.

The fact her to be groom asked for your help choosing a ring, indicates he thought you were indeed very good friends and would be apart of said wedding which makes it ever more strange.

its not worth losing a friendship over but I would take a step back in terms of your friendship. I probably wouldn't go to the party either but I'm stubborn and have a very F**K you attitude.

If I was a more rational person (which you should be) I'd ignore the fact she's even getting married, I wouldn't ask any further questions or show an interest and await my invite to the reception/party and just attend, smile hand her her gift and move on with my life. You can continue to be friends but I would keep in mind she is not a true friend.

Just like OP's friend, I favoured a no-frills calm on the day.
If I invited my mum, the inlaws would have to be invited too and they come as a bunch of six. Would be strange my twin brother dropping mum off but without an invite for himself, so...he's in. Someone would be bound to take an immortal offence if children were not included so add a couple of those.
My DH would feel compelled to invite his friend whose wedding he had just attended... And I would have to invite OP for fear of mutiny in our friendship group 😁

Phew, it's stressful just thinking about it!

It wouldn’t bother me, go and enjoy the party.

I'd be upset and would think it very strange - surely there will be a best man at the ceremony ?

Personally I'd just support her and be a friend

Why didn't you invite your mum?

It might not have mattered to you but i bet it does to her.

The last few weddings I've been to have been really small with just family (other than best man/Bridesmaid and a couple of friends without their partners).

Are they just having a registery office with a couple of witnesses to get the legal bit done then the big do later where they do all the showy bits ? I know people who have done that.

It’s a bit odd that her actual wedding will exclude you having said before that she would have you as a bridesmaid. Plenty of people have small weddings and still manage to invite their best friend along. Could be money related. You don’t think she’s just going along with something that doesn’t suit her? Or is she getting married later in life than she’d expected and finds the idea of bridesmaids silly perhaps …

You're going to the party afterwards which presumably she has paid caterers for so is including you!

The actual ceremony she has decided for whatever reason you are not to be there: Get over it!

Stop asking her questions about the wedding, it's clear she doesn't want to talk about it.
I didn't invite my best friend to my wedding, we are still best friends. I had family only (no church, bridesmaids etc).

It’s possible she feels you’re trying to guilt her into inviting you by showing all this interest in exactly who is being invited.

She might be embarrassed their budget doesn’t stretch to more invites, I’d remain excited for her big day, weddings are so expensive, small weddings will always upset somebody. It’s part of the reason we went off by ourselves and got married abroad, we just upset everyone but no one felt left out over other people being invited.

Families can be difficult at weddings. You know hers but presumably not his so well? A small wedding can be best for the family group. The fact that she doesn't want to talk about it could mean it's not the wedding she wanted, but it's the one she feels will set up her married life best.

Your other friends shouldn't be encouraging you to take offence.

She is probably feeling awkward. See if she wants to talk about the big party instead. If not just get on with your life and your friendship.

YANBU, I would be really upset by this and would want to understand the set-up.

Surely if she is as good a friend as you say, you can be open about your feelings. I can't imagine not being able to talk to my best friend about this.

Do you not look the part OP? is she a bridezilla who wants perfect insta photos and nothing else?

If it is such a small wedding as another poster mentioned, she might just want you to stop talking about it.
Considering how close you seem to be to the family it could be coming across as guilting, and now that the actual wedding has arrived she may just genuinely want family.
Stop talking about it for a while and see if things get less chilly?

She is being quite cold and short with anything wedding related as I’m trying to be a good friend and show interest.

Stop showing interest then.

Oh. Yes, this might be it.

I think it depends if it’s literally a few immediate family members going to the ceremony or lots of other friends but not you. If the latter, I’d be very upset and taking a step back from the friendship.

I thought that too, wtf?