Being called Mrs *-*

But you are a married woman, which is what Mrs denotes.

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean they’re doing anything wrong. These people aren’t referring to you as a frog, instead of a human. Or calling you Jemima when your name is Alice. You ARE a married woman and therefore they use the word that has been used for many many years to refer to a married woman. It’s factual.

Honestly, who not spend your grime trying to pass a bill that removes all Mr/Mrs/Miss-es if you have such an issue. But please, for the love of god, stop trying to convince people that they’re wrong for using words with assigned meanings for describing exactly what it is they’re looking at.

If you have brown hair, but you prefer the term “caramel”, someone isn’t wrong for describing you as having brown hair. They’re just using the word acknowledged to mean what they’re seeing.

Just politely say you go by Ms not Mrs, if really necessary. Or just get over it and don’t let the Maitre D ruin your day 🙄

Some of my family and especially DHs rfamily assume I have his surname. It drives me up the wall if they send me a card with his surname. Our DDs also don't have his surname (although DS does, long story) and they write his surname.
MIL was furious when I refused to change my name after our wedding, which is probably why she still, after 11 years of marriage, uses his surname.
Luckily in my work we just use first names, although people do ask how can I be married and have a DS with a different name?

Consultant physicians use doctor, surgeons use Mr.

I wanted to put surgeons, dithered and picked the wrong one, ah well.

This is incorrect. Surgeons don’t use doctor. Consultants in paediatrics, neurology, psychiatry & a host of other roles will all use doctor.

Plus in the U.K. Consultants don’t use Doctor. It’s junior doctors and GPs who do.

The word doctor is derived from the Latin verb “docere,” meaning to teach. Scholars have used this title for best part of a millennium. In the Middle Ages some medical schools became jealous and stole the title for themselves despite the fact their graduates didn’t have doctorates. Medical doctors do not have a doctorate, it’s merely a custom to call them doctor.

Interestingly, in Germany you must have a PhD in order to call yourself Doktor. If you’re a medical doctor you may only use Arzt (male) or Arztin (female).

How do you pronounce Mx? I personally find it strange to say Ms outloud. If I saw Ms i would probably revert to saying Miss outloud

2024 and women are expected to tolerate being asked if they are married or not every time they book travel or a hotel, open an account, arrange a shopping delivery etc.

My current tactic is to go by Mr if it’s an online thing, or if in person, ask the person asking my title if they are married

I would never call a teacher by their first name or give them a title of my choosing. So disrespectful.

I'm not UK based, but the teachers were always Mrs X if they were married. Am early 40s. In my daughter's school they call all their teachers by their first name which eliminates any confusion 😁

That was my experience at school too. And in all the schools I work with now, teachers are always called either Sir or Miss in class.

This is my experience too. Always Miss, whether married or not.

This might be absolutely mind blowing to you, but many teachers actually have a doctorate. I’ve personally got a three year degree, a separate masters, plus a postgrad. So 8 years of uni.

Miss means unmarried.

Women often change their surname or double-barrel it to create a name representing an equal partnership, rather than the tradition of the woman becoming another man's property. Plus, it's often easier to create a family name to share with their children. Things can get confusing when children have different surnames to their parents.

I actually haven’t got it wrong please do your research. Either way a medical or research doctor is more highly qualified than a teacher.

Genuine question, If you some women really don't want to change to Mrs Husbands surname when they marry why don't they just keep their name as Miss own name ? Or if they divorce why not Just be Miss maiden name ? Why the need to change their name ever ?

Someone who thinks the only reason why one might not use Mr and Mrs Smith in that scenario is lack of education can safely be assumed to be poorly educated themselves, on modern norms.

@Gruffallowhydidntyouknow in my job I never sent things to couples, only individuals.

If I received a letter that just had my name my first response wouldn't be to insult the sender's level of education. I'd rather that than it be assumed I was Miss or Mrs.

Yes it is; in my case my male partner is the financially more vulnerable one (although it’s pretty easy to circumnavigate this without being married)

Yes, yes - and in response to the other posters who also didn't "get" it. A man can also be called Dr, Rev, Prof etc but men won't normally be called Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx, nor will women be called Mr 🙄

I'm ignoring Lady, Princess and Queen etc because how many of us really have those options open to us? It's four possibles versus one.

This has sort of brought a sad memory up for me. My mother was terrified of being demoted to Ms on her divorce. Divorced women back then were the dregs of society and on a par with fallen women. Even a woman living in sin was higher up. Thank goodness it is no longer like that now for women, but it is still in living memory.

I'm really sad to think traditions will die out because of some silly idea of it being patriarchal and making a stand about it.

Good. If you think correct identification of the roots of the custom and women wanting to do the same as you do and use a title they like is silly, you've earned yourself the sadness.

I’d do Mr J and Mrs/Ms G Smith (if I knew the Mrs/ms preference, if not I’d assume Mrs).

The properly correct from however would be Mr and Mrs J Smith.

Im happy to be Mrs but I don’t want to be Mrs DH Surname.

We all navigate our way through somehow! If it bothers you OP correct people and but it on your staff ID.