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Original poster

So upset and confused - issue at work

90 replies

Hereforthekickz · 22/03/2024 19:27

I have worked there for 5 years. I work in admin for a large company and have 2 colleagues that do the same work as me. General admin, answering calls etc. I am a hard worker.

I am full time. My colleagues job share. One works Mon, Tue, Wed. The other 1/2 day Wed, Thurs, Fri. There is always 2 min admin staff on any day.

Our manager wanted to propose a home working arrangement with his boss. He asked what days we would like. The colleague that works 1/2 day on Wednesday ( let’s call her Jane) was very vocal and felt that anyone that got the Friday working at home was at an advantage as they wouldn’t have the travel time so, in her words, could go out early for the evening . This was quickly dismissed by our boss. Due to the short patterns, there was only actually Jane that could benefit if she got her shifts changed. She got very angry and said “well I might change my shifts to work full day Wed and Thurs and half day Friday so I can finish early on Friday then”. Our boss just laughed.

Last week we had a meeting. Boss wanted to confirm proposals for home working before he spoke to his boss. He gave everyone a home working day. When it got to Jane she was down to work half a day Friday in the morning. I raised my hand and asked how it would work because I would be the only admin person in the office for the afternoon. I explained that the phones are very busy and we always get an influx of last minute admin work before the weekend. I also asked what would happen if I was ill or had an important appointment as there would be no admin staff. My boss advised that he was okay to deal with this as it’s only an afternoon.

As the home working had not been agreed, I decided to wait to see what would happen next. Yesterday we were told that his boss did not agree to it. I thought, fine, that’s the end of it all. No home working, no problem.

Until today when this morning, I got an email from Jane, who was sat opposite me, to say her new shifts had been agreed with our boss and his boss. I just can’t understand the reasoning behind it so asked to speak to my boss. I advised again that I would struggle and explained that it meant that 3 admin staff would be in on Wednesday and only me on Friday afternoons. This balance doesn’t match the workload. I asked how I would be expected to manage this extra workload but he didn’t really answer. I asked what the business need was but he kept referring to a “possible” business need in some months to come. He basically could not give me an answer. We went round and round. I explained that I felt like I am being expected to pick up the work and if there was a real need, I would accept it, but I could see the benefit and he couldn’t provide me with a reason or what the plan was moving forward to help with this increase of workload. Basically, Janes shifts were changed because she shouted loud enough. Our boss is not exactly a great leader and he tries to avoid any kind of conflict.

This is not the only issue he has created in the office/team but I just felt completely dumped on. I was upset that he hadn’t spoken to me because it directly involves me. I was very upset that I got an email from a colleague that was sitting in front of me.

My boss got very defensive and tried saying that I should have tried harder to tell him there was a concern which I did in our meeting. He was raising his voice and became confrontational.

I got so upset that he said I could work from home so I went. His boss emailed me later to say she was sorry I was upset and that I can speak to her on Monday if I need to.

What shall I do? There have been a number of these types of incidents and today feels like the straw that broke the camels back. Jane messaged me to see where I was but I just can’t ring myself to get in touch. Please help?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 13/04/2024 19:18

Sounds like your mental health will crack Thursday and you'll need a week off and a trip to the GP about your stress levels.

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 19:13

@Crazydoglady1980 I am at burn out and have been here for a while just about managing. There are many things going on at work that are simply wrong and we are short staffed because of it. It’s a cultural issue that started when the Head retired. We are all overworked which adds to the melting pot.
My wellbeing is taking a nose drive. Just when I feel like things have changed for the better, something else happens and I am back in the same place again.
I am taken advantage of because I am accommodating and I do get the job done. I don’t want to sound arrogant but I am good at what I do and I take pride in it. I want the school to do well and I want to be a part of its success. But I have just realised that I have to change and that’s so hard to do when that’s not your way.

I am going to have to start playing the game just to save my mental health.

Thanks for all the great comments ❤️

OP posts:
Jeannie88 · 13/04/2024 19:08

Yes the ones who are pushy and speak the loudest, with a laid back boss, tend to get what they want. Very unfair arrangement, which you have made clear to them. 'Jane' sounds selfish, you're a team , and as the FT worker you should really be the one who has priority over which days to wfh. How about a monthly swap in days, would be fairer? Sure you would all like Friday afternoon off or wfh but clearly hasn't thought about that, just herself. Xx

Crazydoglady1980 · 13/04/2024 19:01

Work to rule, don’t do anything over and above what you would usually do, if you cope then everyone will think there is no issue.
If your role means that you can’t ignore things until Monday you prioritise, work out how many tasks you can achieve in an afternoon and pass any more that come in to your manager. It’s then his responsibility to manage this and don’t back down.
Unfortunately trying to work hard, do what you need to do and take on extra, doesn’t always help. Those who do this end up burnt out and no one appreciates it.

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 19:00

@OddBoots well it’s funny you mention that because that’s just what my DH suggested. At the moment, Jane sits at a desk on a Wednesday and we have always been told that the phone can’t be connected to the loop system so when she comes in on Wednesday afternoons, she doesn’t answer any calls. I did raise this issue now she is working all day on Wednesday. My boss told me that he will ensure the phone is setup to take calls. Now I very much doubt he will do this. He hasn’t done it yet. This could then be an option as I could ask to sit there.

Thanks for the suggestion

OP posts:
Dareisayiseethesunshine · 13/04/2024 18:59

Take some Tuesdays off and the work will pass to a Wednesday for Jane?

LatteLady · 13/04/2024 18:59

You are not making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I would seriously think about another school or academy chain, and raising a grievance... Having had to deal with the staff issues that you have named as a Chair, I would be f*cking livid if this was happening in any of my schools. I have found that people excuse alcohol much more than they should, what if the staff member was over the limit and drove a car, your manager is then complicit.

TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist · 13/04/2024 18:58

If it were me, I'd phone in sick this Friday with really bad period pain and stomach cramps. If your boss is male then add sufficient detail to make him squirm. Let's see how they cope with no admin there...

I'd be really pissed off with Jane. She sounds arrogant. I'd make sure she is on phone answering duty when all 3 of you are in.

OddBoots · 13/04/2024 18:55

This may not work out with your type of work but is there any scope in you being the one to sit away from the phones on Wednesdays now so you can get other tasks cleared to have more scope on a Friday afternoon?

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 18:50

@LatteLady add into the mix the fact that it’s a SEN school.

I really do hope that I am not making a mountain out of a mole hill and I am trying to just take it on the chin but it’s difficult. Again, I think this was the last straw.

OP posts:
LatteLady · 13/04/2024 18:38

I am afraid the time has come to do a couple of things:

  1. Raise a grievance against your manager, citing everything that you have mentioned here, especially his lack of engagement in management, so you would also need to include failing to deal with a colleague using the school credit card, a colleague smelling of alcohol and failing to resolve the issues in your office.
  2. Look for another job... as a school admin, you are gold dust and make it clear before you leave you want the grievance process followed through.

My slightly impish view is, if you cannot settle with this arrangement, talk to your GP and get signed off with stress and when you return insit that you talk to Occ Health and get them to agree that you cannot be left alone on a Friday afternoon. I also understand why a Friday is so busy... unfortunately people who do not work in schools, do not understand the increase in safeguarding referrals that are currently happening... over 20 MASH referrals in second part of last term for one our local schools.

RandomMess · 13/04/2024 18:37

Well don't "manage" answer the phone and let the undone tasks pile up.

Forward any unanswered emails 30 minutes before the end of his workday to him as well as a list of outstanding tasks split under urgent and less urgent headings.

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 18:34

@WoodingtonMo no I don’t feel
like it’s envy. It’s anger and confusion. I feel disappointed that my boss didn’t or couldn’t tell me why the change was made and I feel like it wasn’t communicated clearly and our concerns taken seriously. I should not have to manage. There was no ethical business reason to change her shifts and for me to be given more work.

I feel like my concerns do not matter. I am not saying it would have changed the outcome but my concerns needed to be acknowledged at least.

As soon as I ‘manage’ an afternoon, what’s stopping it from being a day or 2 days. It’s bad decision making from an inadequate leader!

OP posts:
Loubelou14 · 13/04/2024 18:26

You don't work any harder or twice as fast on a Friday afternoon. If tasks don't get done that falls at his door and is his problem not yours. Her not being there won't affect you because you can only do what you can do. I'd accept it but see it fail and him have to backtrack.

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 18:24

@Puzzledandpissedoff ues it’s a well known and well documented issue I’m afraid. It has been going on for years. It is also a general consensus that my boss is in the wrong job! I don’t get involved but there are a number of issues that are being dealt with by the Union rep regarding HR issues and issues with a member of his staff that he is not doing anything about. In fact, it’s the same member of staff I asked him to help me with because I couldn’t do my job. 4 years later and nothing has changed. The union has ended up getting involved because there are problems where staff haven’t been paid correctly.

He also employed a member of staff who was paying for takeaways on the company credit card but he didn’t do anything about it despite it was gross misconduct. He has even told people in the office that he has had to report a member of staff because they spelt of alcohol. He then named that person. The list goes on!!!!

He doesn’t manage or lead anyone or anything. When we raise issues as a team he actually says we are “moaning”. He knows nothing about our work.

OP posts:
WoodingtonMo · 13/04/2024 18:19

I think you’re massively overreacting. It’s just one afternoon. You’ll be able to manage for a few hours. I bet you’ve managed when one has been off sick?

Is it envy making you feel this upset about it?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/04/2024 18:14

Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 16:45

Also to add, unfortunately the culture created in the office is that it is normal that work gets dumped on us last minute. It has been the subject of many heated discussions. Work that should have a deadline and a process is often left to the last hour and doesn’t conform to any process or procedure. The work takes twice as long because it’s all wrong. There are numerous unnecessary distractions making it difficult even with 2 staff members on duty.

Sorry to hear about the bereavement, OP Flowers

To be frank this workplace sounds thoroughly disorganised; yes there are "rush jobs" everywhere occasionally, but if it's happening regularly that's a management issue

So is handling the stress of sorting it out, so please don't ever feel you have to take this on yourself - and if you still get nowhere, consider taking your skills somewhere they'll be appreciated

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 18:12

@FrogTheWarrior thanks for this. It’s just what I needed to hear 🤪

I can’t believe it took me so long to realise what she is like. She made me laugh in the meeting and I thought she was acting oddly. When the boss announced what days we were working from home (come to think of it that was all very odd as the top boss hadn’t approved the working from home arrangement yet)!! He said “and Jane will be working Friday morning”. When I looked across at her, she was pouting and leaning back in her chair. My colleague said to her “isn’t that a really busy day to have one person on duty” to which she replied, very noncommittal “no, I don’t think so”!! I nearly choked!!!

So yes, I have just discovered the real Jane and what an absolute arse hole she is! No wonder she brought cake in for the boss after the announcement was made. I kid you not! No one else got a slice of cake but the wimpy, deck of a boss got a big, fat slice!!!! 🤣

OP posts:
FrogTheWarrior · 13/04/2024 17:57

There’s always a fricking Jane and I always fricking hate them!!

She’s a selfish manipulative cow OP and your boss is a wimp. I hope you have the meeting with the union rep next week and the big boss sees how absurd the arrangement is. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jane flounces off if so, fingers crossed.

SoEmbarrassed2024 · 13/04/2024 17:29

If I can’t answer the phone then we could end up with complaints. It’s important the phone is answered due to the nature of the business. The work coming in on a Friday is usually last minute, must be done now jobs. I will have no choice but to complete this.

Do what you can do, if things can't be completed because you are on your own or if there are complaints because you are on your own then so be it, that's for your manager to manage

RandomMess · 13/04/2024 17:01

Just put in writing now that on a Friday you well let him now what jobs are outstanding at the end of each day. Prioritise the year groups you cover.

Then follow through or if you are as stressed as you sound you may need end up off sick with stress.

Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 16:46

Sorry to go on. I do feel better for getting that off my chest 😤

OP posts:
Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 16:45

Also to add, unfortunately the culture created in the office is that it is normal that work gets dumped on us last minute. It has been the subject of many heated discussions. Work that should have a deadline and a process is often left to the last hour and doesn’t conform to any process or procedure. The work takes twice as long because it’s all wrong. There are numerous unnecessary distractions making it difficult even with 2 staff members on duty.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 16:40

@Nanny0gg sorry not sure I fully understand your question? I guess I can’t do 2 things at once. I just feel
like it’s me that’s going to be getting anxious because the phone will be ringing and people will be wanting things doing etc.

We don’t work from home. Our top boss won’t allow it. There was talk of this happening and this is when Jane caused a bit of a stir in the office. She said it was unfair that anyone should work from home on a Friday. It actually didn’t benefit anyone anyway but that’s by the by. She then joked and said”well maybe I will just change my shifts and it can benefit me”!

No one took it too seriously and the top boss didn’t agree working from home anyway so that was the end of that! But unbeknown to us, she had asked for it and our boss had agreed it anyway, despite there being no business need.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hereforthekickz · 13/04/2024 16:30

@RandomMess I did ask all these questions and he didn’t answer them. He just kept saying that I should have raised my concerns sooner but I did raise my concerns, in a meeting we had before he agreed the shift change. So did my colleague. Everytime I asked what would be put in place to help me with the extra workload he kept saying that in September the student numbers will rise significantly, which we are aware of. He feels that it’s better to have 3 members of staff in all day in a Wednesday. When I asked where that leaves me on a Friday, on my own with more students, he started to get very defensive and was repeating my name over and over whilst I was speaking and saying I should have made him aware of my concerns before now. I just couldn’t get a professional answer. I was being very professional and only focusing on the work.

OP posts: