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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be happy with just one child?

30 replies

Haveli · 22/03/2024 18:44

I have a daughter. She is 2.5 and great (although hard work as toddlers are!).

Lots of the mums of her nursery friends are starting to have second babies or announce pregnancies, and I'm always delighted for them but have never felt the same pang of 'wish it was me' that I did when we were trying for DD. One asked me point blank today when we were going to have another as DD would 'miss out otherwise' and the 'age gap will be growing'.

Don't get me wrong, I do think it would be lovely for her to have a sibling, and she would make an excellent big sister. But I just don't want any more. Pregnancy and the first year took such a toll on my mental health, my daughter is still very much a mummy's girl and I often find myself overwhelmed by how much I am 'needed'. I love her to the moon and back but I have no desire to do it all again. DH is happy to leave the ball in my court.

I just feel a bit bad that I am doing her out of the special relationship between siblings. Although I had a younger sister and although we get on OK, we definitely aren't best friends.

aibu?

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 22/03/2024 18:51

What would be unreasonable about it?
Have the amount of children you want, can afford and can cope with.
So what if others are having more, they’re not you!

xyz111 · 22/03/2024 18:50

Me and my DB are only 3 years age gap and we don't have much of a relationship, never been close. No back story, just always been 2 different people. Having a sibling is no guarantee. I have a DS6, he's an only child as I didn't feel that desire either. But I don't feel like he's missing out.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 22/03/2024 18:49

You’re not being unreasonable at all. Nobody should have a second child unless they really want one. Don’t do it for the sake of the first child. There’s no guarantee they’ll get on anyway. Like you I have a young sister who I get along with fine, but we’re not close at all. We couldn’t be more different as people and honestly she’s more of an acquaintance than a friend to me. I don’t wish she hadn’t been born of course, but I would have been fine as an only child.

TeaKitten · 22/03/2024 18:48

You no YANBU. And there’s no guarantee of a close sibling relationship or even a healthy baby. If you are happy with one then she will be happy as the only one.

sofiamofia · 22/03/2024 18:46

No, you are not at all unreasonable.

There are no guarantees of a happy sibling relationship. Only children are perfectly happy.