To want people to stop using pictures of my DC as "stickers"

SarahSays1 · 15/04/2024 13:57

wowihaveagardennow · 22/03/2024 14:19

I have spoken to her about it and she thinks I'm being extreme. That was a few months ago. It's just bothering me because a cousin of mine who I saw recently but barely spoke to was saying one of her default go to stickers is one of my baby.

One thing I have found a real struggle after having a baby is having to have difficult conversations to family about respecting boundaries about MY own child and people saying I'm being silly or controlling or whatever. Before being a mum, if a parent asked me to not do something regarding their children there is no way I would argue it, because in all honesty, who am I to get in their business.

tell her to stop, and that if she doesn't, then she won't see the child at all in case she takes and shares photos of the child. If that is not enough then you will need to make sure no relatives share photos of the child with her.

She should respect your wishes.

GeorgeMummy · 15/04/2024 13:18

It’s difficult for you if your sister refuses to comply with your wishes.
My young relative was sexually abused after being given sleeping pills. Her mother only found out when Police turned up on her doorstep after finding hundreds of indecent images on the internet. The man got 11years

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 23/03/2024 08:52

@CloudsUnderwater have you just made an account to argue with people

CloudsUnderwater · 23/03/2024 07:33

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alwaysatthebusstop · 22/03/2024 17:27

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Let's make one of you looking grumpy - a photo taken without your consent - make that into a sticker and share for your entire phone directory to use.
Still think it's no big deal?

Kissmystarfish · 22/03/2024 17:04

BirthdayRainbow · 22/03/2024 14:27

Your feelings are valid. Is there are way to delete the photos so they can't be used? I wouldn't let this go. I would insist.

Nope. Once they’re online that’s it.

Kissmystarfish · 22/03/2024 17:04

wowihaveagardennow · 22/03/2024 14:19

I have spoken to her about it and she thinks I'm being extreme. That was a few months ago. It's just bothering me because a cousin of mine who I saw recently but barely spoke to was saying one of her default go to stickers is one of my baby.

One thing I have found a real struggle after having a baby is having to have difficult conversations to family about respecting boundaries about MY own child and people saying I'm being silly or controlling or whatever. Before being a mum, if a parent asked me to not do something regarding their children there is no way I would argue it, because in all honesty, who am I to get in their business.

Yeah

the easy answer is to stop putting photos of your kids to her. Or anywhere she can get hold of them.

there’s nothing you can do if she refuses to take them down.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/03/2024 14:46

terrifyingtoes · 22/03/2024 14:42

Think it’s only on Apple. Press & hold a pic on your camera roll the main part of image will appear if a wavy line then you should be able to select ‘add sticker’ from a little option pop up

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Thanks, no apples here alas

Angelsrose · 22/03/2024 14:43

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I would feel the same. I don't think your sister is being malicious though. She probably finds her niece totally adorable and that's why she's doing this. Hope you find an amicable solution.

terrifyingtoes · 22/03/2024 14:42

SleepingStandingUp · 22/03/2024 12:58

How do you do it??

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Think it’s only on Apple. Press & hold a pic on your camera roll the main part of image will appear if a wavy line then you should be able to select ‘add sticker’ from a little option pop up

YourFogLightsAreOnTheresNoFog · 22/03/2024 14:29

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The pictures are of her child. The Sister is being unreasonable.

BirthdayRainbow · 22/03/2024 14:27

Your feelings are valid. Is there are way to delete the photos so they can't be used? I wouldn't let this go. I would insist.

Talipesmum · 22/03/2024 14:25

In that case I’d send a family wide message to everyone asking for people to stop using them. Ask her again first to make sure, but then send it round everyone.

BirthdayRainbow · 22/03/2024 14:25

Tell her to stop. If she doesn't, stop giving her photos of your baby.

Original poster

wowihaveagardennow · 22/03/2024 14:19

I have spoken to her about it and she thinks I'm being extreme. That was a few months ago. It's just bothering me because a cousin of mine who I saw recently but barely spoke to was saying one of her default go to stickers is one of my baby.

One thing I have found a real struggle after having a baby is having to have difficult conversations to family about respecting boundaries about MY own child and people saying I'm being silly or controlling or whatever. Before being a mum, if a parent asked me to not do something regarding their children there is no way I would argue it, because in all honesty, who am I to get in their business.

OP posts:

Maray1967 · 22/03/2024 13:52

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Dc have the right to not have photos of themselves all over the place. We have never allowed relatives to put photos of our DC on Facebook. We don’t use it, and they know our views. My DB and SIL don’t do it either. SIL deals with the type of people who abuse these images via her work- it is, unfortunately, not a rarity.

Kissmystarfish · 22/03/2024 13:47

wowihaveagardennow · 22/03/2024 11:32

On WhatsApp there is a function that turns ordinary photos into "stickers". For example, a picture of a baby in the park can be cut out so that all the background is removed and it's just the picture of the baby itself on its own. It can then be used like you would use emojis.

My younger sister (35 y/o - age given to help with context ie. she is not so young that she won't understand why I'm unhappy about it) has been making about 10 different ones all of my DC who is nearly a year old. Then she uses them instead of 😭😩😂 etc. in all sorts of group chats. I believe most are with family and probably none with people I don't already know. I have now heard some of my cousins also use these stickers who I see maybe 4 or 5 times a year if that. But I just feel uncomfortable about it. AIBU to want her to stop?

I feel like we live in an age where we can't control who has photos of our children. I use Facebook and Instagram (albeit not often) but have chosen not to post any photos of my DC there, and generally don't have many photos of myself or DH there either

I’ve never put any photos of my kids on social media

i work in cyber security and if I could pass anything on it would be

DO NOT POST PHOTOS OF YOUR KIDS ONLINE!

before you know it they’ll end up in Russia being used for something. Or some dodgy dealings

pleaee please stop posting kids online. Studies are showing that it’s doing significant mental damage having their pictures posed online. We’re only just finding this out.

but you can’t stop anyone using it. You put it online. It’s never ever deleted. It’s always there and the wrong people know how to access it.

please be careful.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/03/2024 12:58

AnnieRegent · 22/03/2024 11:43

I do this with my pet, because it's funny. I would 100% ask someone to stop if it was pics of my kids. You are not being unreasonable in the slightest.

How do you do it??

SevenSeasOfRhye · 22/03/2024 12:57

If this is effectively the disembodied face of a baby, the pictures won't be identifiable.

CloudsUnderwater · 22/03/2024 12:54

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TheNameIsDickDarlington · 22/03/2024 12:48

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 22/03/2024 12:30

@climb12sides The op's sister is sending them to family not selling them to paedophiles. Bit of a fucking leap there

Things spread though.

Her sister has sent them to some cousins, a cousin might use it with a friend or inlaw, they then use it with someone else etc etc.

Op obviously needs to speak to her sister and possibly stop sending her photos or ask her not to take photos of the baby. I think sadly some people just aren't very aware about child safety issues especially regarding the Internet, my SIL (same age as your sister) is woefully uneducated about Internet safety and plasters stuff about her kids everywhere on public profiles. I've tried to tell her but she doesn't seem to care, so all I've been able to do is tell her she's not allowed to put any photos of my children as that's the only part I can really control.

MonsteraMama · 22/03/2024 12:42

BreakfastAtMimis · 22/03/2024 12:35

Wow that's great parenting.

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Best call social services, how dare she joke with her child 🙄

rumbanana · 22/03/2024 12:38

Well first thing is to ask her to stop. Obviously the pictures you have already sent are now not under your control.
Before sending or sharing any more photos of your children recognise that this is part of the choice to do so. Even within family there can be people who do stuff you don't agree with, and some who don't listen even when you say you don't like it. Unfortunately that's just the way things are, you can't control people.

ThePerfectDog · 22/03/2024 12:38

BreakfastAtMimis · 22/03/2024 12:35

Wow that's great parenting.

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Blimey! Alert social services, mum teases son.

concernedchild · 22/03/2024 12:36

@BreakfastAtMimis it sounds hilarious and exactly the type of thing my parents would do with me